To think that holiday with baby is the same at being at home with baby, just more boring and more upsetting?

It’s more upsetting because it highlights how useless your STBXH is (without the excuses of work etc it’s obvious that he just doesn’t really help).

Going on holiday with a baby can be lovely although it depends on:

• Who you go with (a helpful partner, friend or grandparent gives you a break, support and adult company- it doesn’t sound like your husband is doing this.
• Where you go (choosing somewhere that makes life easier rather than harder). Anywhere really hot/sunny or cold/wet is unlikely to be enjoyable with a baby.
• Your baby (some babies are fairly flexible and easy-going and will eat/nap anywhere. If your baby thrives on routine and needs complete silence and dark to nap then everyone might be happier if you wait a couple of years).
• Your own expectations and flexibility (it’s going to be hard work and not the same as a holiday without kids. I love taking my baby and toddler away but my expectation is 20% magical memories, 10% leaving them with dad whilst I sunbathe alone for a bit, 60% same shit different place, 10% total nightmare- I’m happy to accept this ratio, but I totally understand why some people may not be 😂)

But why can't you take the baby out? You don't need to spend all the time in the apartment, surely? And you can have meals out too.

Why don’t you just leave STBExH with the baby, if he’s off on his own in the morning tell him he’s on afternoon shift and just leave. I assume he’s not such a crap parent that he won’t be capable of looking after the baby at all? Alternatively if it’s an option where you’re staying get a babysitter a couple of hours a day so you get a chance to go and chill in the beach/sun while babysitter watches baby in the room - I did this on a couple of holidays when DS was a baby and it made all the difference just to have a couple of hours to relax and enjoy the pool/beach, which let’s face it you can’t do with a baby. I absolutely loved travelling with my babies but it’s definitely same shit different place and nothing like pre kids travel obviously. You just need to figure out what can make your life as easy as possible while away and go with that, forget meal prep for a 10 month old for example, they won’t die on jars and pouches for a week plus bits of whatever you’re eating. Try to get them to nap outside if they will so you can enjoy the beach. 10 months is a tricky age too, I found overseas holidays easiest with below 6 months and then 18 months onwards, and from 2 it really improved.

Yes I wouldn’t be cooking

Just go off places with baby and you. Pack a kindle or book. Find a nice cafe to relax if baby snoozing, feed baby crossiant, Fruit and bit of what you have off plate in a restaurant.

Look up what’s nearby that you can get to.

Why aren't you both taking baby down to the beach and taking it in turns to swim? Take baby out in buggy to people watch.
We went on holiday with my parents and it was so much easier

Take the baby out. If you sit by the paddling pool other mums will come. Order food at restaurants and cafes. You sound so lonely and sad. Tell your partner and ask him to help.

Your husband is the problem. If you’re getting no support on holiday or enthusiasm from your partner towards your family then it’s hard.

Also depends on your outlook on holidays.

We've travelled several times a year since our child was 11 months and he loves travel and we love holidays with him.

You just have to go with the flow, 10 months is about splash pools and long walks in the pushchair if they nap. Siestas in the room while you chill or read a book on the balcony. Keeping out the sun in the middle of the day etc

^^ Agree with this
You can’t escape making bottles etc but when I was married, I had help like lie ins and food made which made it a holiday for me too. Going to the beach or a foreign supermarket is much more fun than being at home.

In future go to a hotel with a baby pool and crèche. Or go with your parents / siblings/ any adult who will take baby for an hour a day so you can go and swim etc.

your STBX is a waste of space. Why are you not asking him to take his turn looking after baby so you can go and enjoy the beach?

My experience of holidays with babies and young children were doing the same but in more fun places with nicer scenery. I had realistic expectations though and the holidays which were with DH involved him being a parent and not swanning off and leaving me to do it all. I'd guess it's that resentment (which is fair) towards DH spoiling the holiday.

Also an apartment where you prep meals doesn’t sound like a holiday to me. That is definitely same shit, different location. We always went to hotels, they can provide milk, cereals, baby jars, plain foods etc. No meal prepping required, I just took instant milk from Boots airside and a bag of carrot puff snacks etc.

DH also happily pulled his weight. He adored the time with our DC. You’ve a DH problem.

For the record I travelled quite a lot with my 2 when they were younger. First flights around 3 months for both of them. Long haul for the first at 7 months. I enjoyed most of it. But DH did his part.

Only took our babies to holiday parks in the uk half board. They napped where ever we were

Yep. Same shit, different location

I would never take a baby abroad I think ours were about 3 before we took them abroad,

Seeing as he’s there and not aware he’s about to be ditched I suggest you ask him /tell him to step up and take responsibility for the baby. 50% of the time.

It was a real shock to the system for me though and I felt unprepared for how stressed I felt and that I needed another holiday when I came back.

For us we realised that going away with extended family worked better as it spread the load slightly. It was definitely easier once they were school age and slept in a bit though.

I agree its definitely him, most decent fathers wouldn't fanny about playing on the beach and leave the mother of their child to.get on with it.

Op had you not separated when you booked the holiday?

We never went back to the room for naps, I would have found that depressing. Both DC napped in buggy or on sunbed in shade. Then DH and I would have a cocktail in peace. Suspect your relationship is the issue, not holidays.

Oh I really enjoyed our holidays with our daughter last year, yes the parenting aspect is the same as at home but if I’m going to be nap trapped I’d rather be nap trapped on a sun lounger looking at the sea than on the sofa looking at the same 4 walls I see every other day.

My husband & I also took turns to have an hour off during the day to go for a swim, sunbathe, read a book, and spent the evenings on the balcony once she was asleep watching the entertainment from there or took her out asleep in the pram. It was really really lovely.

Agree with others that it’s the partner that is the problem!

And don’t cook for the twat. Please yourself.

Eat your meals out and have your baby nap in a pram on the beach?

The problem isn't that you have a baby, it's that your partner isn't pulling his weight. He ought to be taking it in turns so that you can have a swim or do what you want to for a bit.

But we've always done beach holidays with babies and had a lovely time. We'd push them in the buggy till they fell asleep and then let them nap in the shade at the beach. In the morning and late afternoon they had a briliant time playing on the beach, feeling the sand and playing in the sea. Don't sit around in the apartment - let your routine relax a bit and go with the flow.

We always self cater (because we prefer to have our own space and not be in a resort) but we lower our meal standards and just make really simple food that requires minimal prep.

Why are you on holiday wity your ex? This is the problem