To think that holiday with baby is the same at being at home with baby, just more boring and more upsetting?

I don’t know how you’re stopping yourself “well you’d better do some reading because that shit won’t fly when you’re parenting alone when I leave you”. What a complete twat.

We took 3 under 5s to Corsica a few years ago, and it definitely was same shit different location, and I did cook l, but it was lovely and I brought extended family along to help. The hardest part was applying enough sunscreen to the baby, who enjoyed whole days napping in her travel tent at the beach. Don't prep meals, go out to a restaurant with the baby and get yourself dinner. Inform him what time you're going and he can be there or suit himself.

I think with a better partner it would be better. Where can you cut corners on the chores and go and do some nice holiday things? When mine were little I insisted on AI hotels so I didn't have any work to do.

I don't enjoy holidays with my children particularly. I'm not good with changes to our everyday routine and I find researching, organising, packing, travelling with small kids etc. quite stressful.

I have therefore mentally "reframed" holidays as experiences for my children and an arduous task for me. My enjoyment comes from seeing them enjoying themselves and experiencing new things. Any relaxation for me is a bonus and I expect to come back more exhausted than when I went. But it's worth it to give the kids fun experiences.

My "holiday" comes a couple of weeks after we get back. I book myself a couple of days off work, book a massage, go somewhere nice for lunch. Have an afternoon nap. Watch daytime TV with a hot coffee and cake. While it's just me and the kids are at school/camp/nursery.

I've reduced the length of the family holiday to accommodate this - we now go for a week when previously we would have done a fortnight or 10 days. Or we do a mini-break when previously we would have done a week. And I think that's perfectly fair - I am a human being too, not a robot, and I need R&R time too. So if people don't prioritise me on holiday and dump everything on me, then I'll prioritise myself later with zero guilt.

I found uk easier with little ones. First abroad holiday youngest was 6 and we had a fab time. Your ‘h’ sounds useless I’d be tempted to leave him with baby to get on with it but you would be worrying and unlikely to relax.

You need to relax a bit and let the routine go to shit and just enjoy yourself

we had our baby and toddler travelling around Asia during maternity leave and I just let them sleep whenever wherever

relaxed about food just gave them fruit or yougurt during the day or rice or sandwiches easy stuff

we were always swimming or beach or out for walks ! Used nap time for a drink and a book or a podcast

why are you preparing loads of meals what are you making?

id say get up and out everyday - don’t ever come back to the room is key for us

Sounds hideous, but I think the husband is the biggest problem.

We always rented (and ultimately bought) a villa with its own pool when ours were babies. So my husband would wear them out in the pool all morning, then we could enjoy long lunches while they slept. And repeat in the afternoon, with a trip to the beach added.

An apartment or hotel just wouldn’t have worked.

Well the main problem is your partner.

I agree that holidays with a baby aren’t the same as on your own, but I think that they can be nice.

We always did self catering in the UK until our dc were about 3yo.

That way you’ve got a comfortable home from
home,

It’s definitely being on holiday with him which is the issue, not being on holiday with the baby.

Look forward to holidays with your child without him in future, they will be lovely.

Yup, even with a 100% supportive partner, it still sucks. All the baby stuff is more difficult, and you're surrounded by reminders of the good time you're not having.

Solidarity OP.

When they were little I used to holiday alone. DH has never been enthused by travel so he was happy staying at home with the babies. He did on occasion take the girls for a few days to the seaside. It also had the benefit of I usually got to go with him when he decided to go away for a few days, usually in UK and doing things I also enjoyed.

If you want to make the trip more enjoyable for you and STBXH isn’t prepared to help (and if you’re about to split it’s probably not worth the effort of trying to force him to on holiday- you’ll just have a row and even if you force him to then you’ll worry he’s not doing it properly). Then I did a trip alone with a baby at a similar age and things I found that helped were:

• Finding a shop that sold pre-made, single portion, formula bottles/cartons. It makes going out for the day so much easier.
• Finding a supermarket that sold baby food pouches, fruit, plain yogurt, and bread. At that age they get most of their calories/nutrition from milk so I was pretty relaxed about what they ate for a week or two (I usually prep everything myself at home so it was a nice break).
• I’d go for an early morning or late evening stroll with the pram when it’s coolest. Then if baby fell asleep I’d stop in a cafe/bar for a coffee or drink (I’d take a book or my phone and read for a bit until he woke uk).
• If you have a splash pool at your hotel then go and sit there- they tend to be shady and cool, and there are usually other parents around to chat to.
• If baby will only nap in the room then is there a balcony or terrace? Your baby is safe in his cot and you’ll hear if he wakes up, but at least you can sit in the sun and relax. Same with evening meals, find a supermarket to get nice meat/cheese/fruit/bread/crisps/drinks etc or order room service and then sit on the balcony to have dinner (I found this was much easier than trying to take an over tired baby out for dinner).
• If your baby is happy in the pushchair then is there anywhere nearby that’s nice to walk around (I liked just walking around towns/cities and popping into places if they interested me, or if it’s hot then museums and galleries are often air conditioned and botanical gardens are shady).

Your husband being a dick is obviously making it stressful and upsetting, but there can be nice bits on your own if you stop bothering with him.

You are on the wrong holiday.

You aren't making the most of where you are and the fact that babies are portable.

Can you swap with stbXH and go play beach volleyball?

It's definitely your partner that's the problem, not the baby/holiday. We had some lovely holidays when our DC were small but a big part of that was the fact that we were all spending time together as a family without work/extended family etc distractions and all the childcare duties were shared.

I bet if/when OP tells her partner he is divorcing him, he tells his friends that he can't believe it and that they have just had such a relaxing holiday.

That was my experience with a baby. And my husband was pulling his weight.

We’ve just come back from a beach holiday with a baby and a toddler. Was it relaxing? No. But it was enjoyable, we spent quality time together as a family, and DH and I had a couple of hours on the balcony in the evenings after the DC went to sleep. Plus no cleaning or cooking (AI is the way to go with small kids), which is something.

Your problem is your ex not sharing the load. Why is he there if not to help with the baby?

Nope don’t agree but then baby groups sound like my idea of hell so I wouldn’t be doing that here anyway

Why aren’t you telling him it’s your holiday as well and would also like some down time?
I also wouldn’t be stuck indoors meal prepping, make yourself some plans and take baby to the beach

Are you not taking the baby to the beach / swimming?

I'd get up tomorrow and tell him you are going out and its his turn to parent. Some men are so selfish and don't appreciate what it's like

Yep definitely your partner who is the problem.

Having said that, holidays with a baby are same shit, different location.

But if you and your partner were in it together, you’d share the load and babies are very portable. They sleep in the pram when you’re having alfresco dinner etc.

Sorry that you’ve got a useless partner. Would he change if you spoke to him?

In the meantime, I agree with the advice to go off with just your baby and you. Put them in the carrier and have a walk down the beach during naptime etc., or look on googlemaps for somewhere nearby you fancy seeing / food you want to eat.