To ask for the money back?

"What attacks?"

My dear, if you genuinely are unaware how abrasive you have been being, you really are having a bad day. How about stepping away from the keyboard and taking time off for a cuppa, or going for a short walk?

OP got called a mug for providing "free childcare". I never once called her a mug, yet barely anyone replied to those comments? But, ok.

Just message. More than once I've thought I'd made a payment and hadn't clicked the last option (I think my bank has 2 screens/buttons 'make payment' and 'pay now' or something).

What attacks?

I think you've mis-read what's going on, honestly. The consensus has been that OP should ask for the money because it's likely her friend has simply forgotten to pay it, and that SassyTurtle (nobody else) is nasty minded in the manner in which she has assumed immediately that the other person has deliberately decided not to pay for her child's lunch, rather than having forgotten to transfer £15 to OP's account. Oh, and nasty minded for her repeated attacks on people for having said they found the way she has expressed her views and had a go at others rather less than pleasant.

The preference is for OP to be paid what she is owed.

In fairness, I am Indian (born in UK) - parents are originally from India. Indians are generally known to be very stingy and love to haggle. So, this is probably where it comes from. I always like to pay in advance. Its just a stereotype unfortunately.

My Mum runs a tailoring business and people "forget" to pay her winds me up. When they enquired for her services!! She tailors Indian clothes for events such as engagement and weddings. Someone was short "£5" when they came to collect their outfit then forget to pay, until few weeks later. She always makes people pay before they leave now - bank transfer or cash.

This, she probably forgot.

Send her a tex just saying hadn’t received it - can she check it’s left bank account

she will either say omg. So sorry. Forgot. Will send. Now

or say it’s been sent then send

I would get them to cover ice creams as they can be £2/3 and all add up

This

Yes per your DH it's only £15 but it mounts up - if they were paying gif a holiday club it would have been a lot more £ and paid up front

If she still doesn't pay I would then not take her child in future and just take out the other friends children who do pay

Tbh my son is now 17 but if he were younger and you were doing this I would give you an amount ip front to cover cost etc so you were fully paid especially as you were helping me out

nah - to be fair we see a LOT of posts on here about CFs. Of course some people jumped to that conclusion.

The "nasty minded" attacks were bizarre

ETA
I also agree with the pp upthread who said it's an "English" problem. I live in Germany, firstly it would never have got this far since they would have sent the money as soon as you let them know. But if it did, say they forgot, then all you have to say is "can you send the fifteen quid" and it would be done. No embarassement, no "could you very kindly, if it's not too much bother, i really don't want to ask but i wondered if you might..." type of bollocks the English do.

its often called "taking the piss"

Have you never forgotten to do something?

yeah, its kind of smarmy

Definitely don't send this message.

I'm an absolute scatterbrain so try to write notes to remember important things like this. Honestly, I have forgotten in the past, 100% my fault, but I've been so upset when I've finally remembered and wished I'd been reminded. I can promise you it was absolutely never a choice, though.

If she's busy and has never forgotten before, I'd take the child on one more trip, let them know how much they owe you in total, clearly stating the 15 for the previous occasion, and then if you don't receive payment stop inviting the child to further days out and gird your loins for further reminders, even though uncomfortable.

You shouldn't have to remind her, of course, but you also shouldn't let her off for the money you're owed.

I am English but lived overseas for a lot of years. I do think its really only the English who get embarrassed to ask for something they are due.

You just have to say - "can you send me that 15 quid for the food from last week? thanks!"

and she'll send it. you're not being rude / pushy / out of line / embarrassing you're due it.

Hi Other Parent, we will be going to X next month if your two want to join. The cost will be Y all-in. Can you also transfer the 15 from the last trip, it hasn't come in. See you soon.

'Just giving you a nudge about the £15 from last week'. That's all it takes, she will probably be horrified that she's been so tardy with it if you've not previously had issues with her.

The poster saying she was nasty minded was referring to the fact that the poster immediately went to the woman owing money being a CF, a nasty person and taking advantage of the OP. That is such a reach.

It didn't occur to her that it could have also been a simple, innocent mistake in that she forgot to pay. In recent updates the OP has stated that this is a good friend and they are often pinging each other money so it seems the latter explanation is nearer the truth.

How am I nasty? Lol. I backchatted because I got thrown names at me, when I didn’t call anyone names. Again, sounds like you have form of forgetting people like other posters. Okay, I’m negative whatever blah. Really don’t care what a stranger on a forum thinks of me tbh.

Ask again. If she's a decent sort she'll rush to pay and apologise. She won't think YOU are cheeky.

If she continues to "forget" or gets the huff then you'll know what you're dealing with and avoid doing her favours, especially ones that cost you money!

I would definitely message again but not during the work say as she may be busy with work, reply but then forget to do it. So can you message tonight at say 7 or 8pm when she should be free to actually action it? Or set up a delayed message to a time you know she’s free.

The other posters don’t get nasty or defensive like you do. Instead of back chatting everybody why don’t you listen to what people are saying? Maybe you are negative? Maybe you do jump to unfair conclusions? Just try be a bit kinder then you won’t get people responding to you the way they have, I’m not the only one who has called you out so obviously you are grating on people.

May well be a genuine mistake, forgot, thought they did it, did it wrong. I would query just say I was checking my bank and I don't seem to have got the £15 can you check it went through OK?

Message again! I’d be mortified if I forgot and you said nothing. Life happens sometimes.