AIBU to think it's a bit cheeky to want our house (when we're not even in it)?

I wouldn’t like it and I wouldn’t allow it either……my home, my castle!
If anything went wrong and you needed to claim on your home insurance there might be a clause voiding claims if you weren’t in residence yourself…….a bit extreme perhaps but nevertheless worth considering. How can you be confident they’d lock up properly etc?

This and they hinted rather than asked

That's very irresponsible on your friend's part. I can understand you being apprehensive after that but I would still trust my good friends to check these things and not burn my house down.

This is blatantly a chatGPT response to a prompt asking for a mumsnet style OP. The sentence structure and formatting is a dead giveaway.

Personally I think if it had been my idea to offer "oh you're coming to town for a few days while we're away? Shame we'll miss you but why don't you stay at ours? You can water the plants/feed the gerbil/be human burglar deterrents/get a big shop in for our return..."

But for them to ask? Hell no.

I wouldn't be against it in principle but it depends 100% on what the friends are like!

Some I would happily leave in charge, especially as they could look after our kitties. Others, however...

Exactly this!

I’m amazed at the poll responses, with the vast majority considering this unreasonable. I’m not a very relaxed person, and I’d find it a bit stressful in this situation tbh but I wouldn’t consider it cheeky & would absolutely offer. I’d be really happy if someone could make use of my home instead of paying for accommodation.

I’m in Ireland, almost anyone I know would be the same so I’m wondering if that’s anything to do with the replies?

Lolz I do this all the time for friends

and I stay at others houses or we house swap

we ever stayed in random people we met in Thailands house in Malaysia one time while they were away 😆

they are staying in ours over Christmas while we are away

If they're good friends I would 100% offer this and my friends would do the same.

I’d allow good friends without a second thought.

id put clean bedding on before I left and leave them clean bedding to put on when they go.

I wouldn’t even have cinsidered close friends would have any interest in snooping through my underwear drawer - but then I’m not not friends with weirdos!

Gosh, I find this thread quite depressing. I frequently have friends stay in my flat while I’m away - it’s a win/win: someone looks after my plants and stops the post from building up, and my friend/s get a free stay in a nice city. I think lots of cities have too many airbnbs in them, driving down the availability of flats for people who actually want to live there, so I think helping friends (& even friends of friends) avoid using Airbnb is more sustainable for the city that I love to live in.

I can’t imagine worrying that my friends would “snoop” or judge me for having a dusty shelf or whatever - I’ve never done either of these things in someone else’s’ house so why would anyone do them in mine? I don’t have the kind of friendships where anyone judges anyone else for a dusty shelf and I’m astonished that anyone else does.

Yanbu.

I've vaguely considered asking friends/family for a favour like this, but when it boils down I have never actually suggested it because for each person who I am.close enough to that it wouldn't be a massively cheeky ask, I realise I really wouldn't want to travel there and not see them because I like them so much. Nor would I want to remedy that by overlapping but offsetting holiday dates a bit so that we could see them immediately before or after, because no one is at their best immediately before or after a holiday.

I think the only circumstances where this wouldn't apply would be if I had friends who lived somewhere where there is an annual event which is avoided by locals but which I wanted to attend. If they had said "oh god we always time our holiday to coincide with (event) as (city) just gets intolerable during (month)" and the event was one I wanted to attend but I knew my friends didn't want to, then it might be reasonable.

What is wrong with you - as you can see from the replies some are fine with the proposal so it's nothing to do with "our culture" is it.

Perhaps your username gives a clue why some people would not be happy with it..........

My gut feeling is no. Not something I’d be particularly comfortable with. In saying that if I thought someone was really stuck for somewhere to stay (and didn’t just want a free holiday for example) I might consider it. It would be absolutely dependent on the person though.

Right off the bat my brother would be a no. How he lives in his house and how I live in mine are poles apart. He’s visited regularly enough that I know he just wouldn’t respect my home how I would expect and I’d come home to stuff dirty or damaged

No! If they cant afford the trip paying for accommodation then its not on you to fix that.

Why should she? 😅 No is much easier.

I would not want anyone other than my parents staying at my house when gone, especially as these friends aren’t doing it to watch your house but to USE YOU. HELL NO.

Is 'enlighten me' the new 'discuss'?

I would have said no even before they’d finished speaking! I wouldn’t want to stay in any of my friends or family’s homes either.

A hard no from me

I did let someone I like very much stay for a few days for my pet.They left the morning before we got there (which was fine) but the gas knob hadn’t been switched off properly and the house stank of gas (with our pet in it 😞)

It might not bother me in general, but the fact that they asked, rather than be offered, hints to me of a forwardness that might spill into cf-ery. So it would be a no.

I probably wouldn’t ask this but I would have offered. Assuming the people I trusted.

Personal choice. I wouldn’t mind but I don’t think it’s unreasonable if you did mind.

I don’t think it’s necessary unreasonable for them to ask as long as they accept a no if that’s your decision