AIBU to think it's a bit cheeky to want our house (when we're not even in it)?

I’ve stayed at friends when they were away and would offer the same, I personally don’t see an issue unless they aren’t real friends? I’d trust all of mine, and if they wanted to look at my knickers crack on. 🤣

YANBU.

While friends have stayed in my place while I’ve been away, it was my offer not their ask

This to me is one of those situations in which it isnt weird or odd to offer, however, it isnt ok to ask/hint! There are less than a handful of people i would do this for (but for those people I'd be more than happy too).

I think it's fine. I'd be happy to have friends staying and keeping an eye on the place. I've offered our house to people before to stay in as we are handy for the channel tunnel but not always around.

This to me is one of those situations in which it isnt weird or odd to offer, however, it isnt ok to ask/hint! There are less than a handful of people i would do this for (but for those people I'd be more than happy too).

Not weird if you feel comfortable with it but cheeky of them to ask without you offering. And it’s absolutely fine not to offer. I haaaaate when people are cheeky like this in a way that then makes you the bad guy when you have to say no or spend time trying to come up with an excuse. Ughhh

I wouldn’t snoop either but there might be bathroom cabinets, bathroom cupboards etc with personal things in them.

Just general questions of letting people stay in your empty house; What room are they sleeping in, a room specifically for guests with no one else’s personal belongings in them? Can certain rooms be locked? I’ve stayed in houses that are homes as well as holiday lets where a number of rooms are locked.

It wouldn’t work for me anyway as all bedrooms belong to someone and have their stuff in them.

The thought of someone bringing in bed bugs (they’ve been travelling after all) would be a reason for me to say no!

This wouldn’t bother me. In fact it would be great as they could feed my cats instead of getting the neighbours to do it. They’re welcome to rummage through my drawers, they wouldn’t find anything exciting.

I prefer people using my house than it being empty .

Doesn't matter what responses you get here and how others would feel. If you aren't comfortable with it YANBU and shouldn't allow it.

Depends on personality probably.

I don't like anyone in my private space full stop, I will happily go out and meet people anyway but my home is my private sanctuary and I'm quite a private person so for me its a huge 'hell no' to have people here when I'm not.

I have many friends who are the opposite personality to me in this regard (it seems opposites attract) and most my friends like to stay 'in the comfort of their home' (rather than meeting at a pub or park etc...) and always have a house full of visitors. Many friends have asked me to house/pet sit while they have been away.

I think its rude the invited themselves though, if you offer its one thing but you cannot invite yourself into someone elses house.

The kind of people that would hint / ask to do this are the kind that I wouldn’t want staying.

I'm of the it's okay to ask and it's okay to say no view.

I remember friends of my parents staying in our (my parents') house while we were all away. They cleaned the oven and bought a loo roll, which presumably would casue a nervous breakdown with Mumsnet.

At the end of the day it's your home and your choice.

Some people would be fine with it, especially if they have pets they were going to be paying someone to care for and visitors would responsibly take up that roll.

The point is you're not, though. That's all that counts.

I'd message back 'Sorry, we're not comfortable with that' and leave it.

If that's not good enough for them that's their problem.

Relatives then yes but anyone else absolutely not. Its extremely rude of them to even hint.

People quite often use my house when I am away, have they given you any reason not to trust them?

If one of you or your DH is a "no" then it's a no as far as I'm concerned.

If they ask directly just say "Sorry that's not going to work for us".

My home is my sanctuary. I don’t even want DH poking around my underwear drawer, never mind friends. I’m happy to have friends stay when we’re home but not if we’re away.

YOU would definitely snoop. Not everyone would.

@GoneGirl12345 Well all I can say is no one has ever asked me if they can stay in my house while I’m away, and I live a two minute walk from the seafront. I’d imagine I’ve never been asked because most people don’t consider it a thing to invite themselves to your empty house 🤷‍♀️

Seems perfectly normal to me-but that’s how I was brought up. Immigrant parents, so lots of transient people in our house!

Do they live somewhere nice OP? Would you like a free holiday at theirs?

I’m had this, friend knew we were away and didn’t so much as ask as told me they would stay. As in ‘you are away so it will be no problem if we stay at yours’.
I was young and hadn’t learned how to say no. I hated it and wouldn’t allow it now. YANBU

Your daughter broke it. You should have been very apologetic and insisted on paying to replace it, he should have had to ask, let alone insist.

You fed his cats (designer cats 🙄🙄) so what? Hardly onerous, and of course you should have cleaned before you left.