AIBU to have just taken my daughter home from camp after a wobble, instead of forcing it?

I wouldn't send her back. It's all well and good that they blamed another staff member for getting the wrong name but there should be management above the people working on the ground aware of everything, that's their job. It doesn't sit well with me anyway.

I remember the bleakness and overwhelm of those things when I was a kid, and I used to go with a sibling. Hated it. They are not for everyone

No Tenby for taking her home. It sounds a mess and not geared up for the younger children. Try a smaller camp with some friends. I have a similar age dd and have to use holiday camps, it we only send her to ones run by her activities that her friends are going to, she’d hate a big noisy one where she doesn’t know anyone.

I know people have to work and sometimes have little choice but to leave a small child to settle .. Stressful for parent and young child when it happens but so far so normal on some days.But they rang later to assure you she had settled ..when she wasn't there? Was sitting at home with you? That is truly shocking for caregivers of a 5 year old child. If they don't know who's in the building and who isn't they can't know whether some distressed child has managed to get out. To lie about her having settled means you can't trust them if they tell you they have comforted her and that she has settled in the future. You can't know for sure they even know who she is. As well as negligence regarding the care of kids there is a lack of integrity there that is highly unacceptable in a job as important as the safety of children. I would have deep reservations about leaving her there again.

Sometimes you need to trust your instincts.

Don’t even doubt yourself, she’s 4 for gods sake.

I’d be more concerned, not that they mistook her for another child, but that’s a standard phrase they say to any parent regardless. To placate them.

I don’t think it’s a traumatising situation, but it doesn’t sound great. There’s no point in Childcare where you’re gonna be as worried and distracted as you would be if the child was sitting next to you while you’re on the phone working.

Maybe they had a bad morning who knows.

I’m normally in the ‘leave them to get used to it’ frame of mind and pushing through when there’s nerves can build resilience.
But no way would I compromise my child’s safety and leave them with adults who looked overwhelmed and didn’t even have a handle on who’s there and who isn’t. That’s unacceptable. Try another camp and ask for a refund.

You did absolutely the right thing. Please get hold of a copy of there's still no such thing as naughty by Kate Silverstone. This will help explain your DD's reaction, why yours was the correct response and hopefully, another try next week will be a positive experience.

Was it one of those camps that are a free for all, run by well meaning volunteers?

I would have done the same thing and she would not be going back after that mess. I would look for somewhere else to try.

I used to volunteer at a church run summer group and we didnt take children who werent already in P1 (Scotland) but agree that if they are taking children from 3 they really need to be geared up for that in terms of knowing who's there etc.

What exactly is a "normal boomer parent"? 🙄

What did they say when you told them she wasn’t there, but at home?

Disagree. Mine has been in school nursery since 2.5 so we’ve always used camps. You just need to find the good ones that are set up well for the little ones. We try to coordinate with friends too. My 4YO is at camp now and it’s at the school and run by the same company that do the wraparound care so no issues whatsoever thankfully! Half his class were there too and none appeared to be struggling at drop off.

Your mother is wrong

this was a crap camp! You can find other places in future, the fact they didn’t even know who she was tells you everything you need to know

your child wouldn’t have been safe there.

you’ve done the right thing.

dont listen to your mother again, you’re clearly a better parent than she was.

Usually I’d agree with your mum but absolutely not in this case and clearly your instincts were right because honestly that’s shocking! I wouldn’t use that camp again under any circumstances.

She is so young for camps. Our school camps won’t take children who are moving up from Reception to Year 1. They have to be a full Yr 1 already (so at this time of year that means moving up to Yr 2 in September) and (from my recollection of when DC was that age) some still struggle.

Yes, I'd have taken her home too. I think you know when it's worth pushing through, and when it just isn't the right thing for them. Good call!

They don’t know which kid is which, that would be it for me!

That sounds like a shit holiday camp, I wouldn’t use that one again. Some have fewer children in smaller groups and would definitely be able to identify individual children, which honestly should be a minimum!