AIBU to have just taken my daughter home from camp after a wobble, instead of forcing it?

I think you did the right thing. The worst thing for me is then not realising she was "missing". Massive red flag. Find another camp if you have to.

Kids have an off switch, you know. Just turn them off for the summer.

Though I'm still hunting for it on my kids 😂.

As a full time working parent this reads quite judgey, what do you think those of us who have to work over summer do with our children who have finished Reception? There are plenty this age who attend camps for most of the summer holidays and enjoy it.

I dropped my 4 year old DD of at a camp this morning. She was a bit nervous again but the camp leader greeted us with smiles and a list of fun activities she would do today then her group leader took her hand and talked about how much she enjoyed yesterday and who she played with.

Your camp doesn't sound good and I think you did the right thing. I would complain and look for another camp.

Is this a camp or day care? Either way I wouldn't set foot there again, it sounds overcrowded, understaffed and unsafe.

Yanbu, she is so young and that place sounds unsafe!

@Amy8They should know who is present surely? How would they evacuate safely?

If there had been a staff member there to support her in settling and someone you could hand her over too I would have left her but just to leave her in chaos I would have taken her home too.

I think finding a session where you can try and again in a less stressful and chaotic manner is a good shout.

I was an August born 4 almost 5 yo too and she would have struggled in that environment even having been in nursery 4 full days from 1. She needs to know who her safe adult and where to go for reassurance.

In her first nursery I had a call on my day off so she was at home with me. I had a call from nursery about her moving rooms but the manager started with " don't worry she's absolutely fine, I'm calling about blah". I laughed and said I know she's fine she's at my feet. After Ofsted closed them some time later it turned out that they were massively oversubscribed, ignored ratios and had way more kids than they could manage. I'm kicking myself now for laughing off the comment and not questioning whether or not they knew which children they had on site and how they were doing. I'd give them another chance and see if you can get her to settle but if there are other niggles like this comment I'd look elsewhere.

It's worrying that they could lose track of such a young child. My oldest is 7 and quite streetwise so I'd feel ok that he at least knows where he's meant to be (i.e. not to go wandering onto the road) and can meet his own needs regarding e.g. water and going to the loo. But I'd be very concerned with that for a 4yo.

If they thought she was there and she wasn't, I sure as hell wouldn't be taking her back even if she skipped in the door happily!

I agree. Plus it doesn't fill you with confidence when they ring up and tell you she's happy at the camp and she's at home sitting next to you. They sound unprofessional and disorganised and I'd be looking for an alternative solution. Five is quite young. Your DM is wrong. She needed you and you reassured her. You had high motivation with work to make sure she went to camp so If you'd felt it was OK to leave her, you would have. You did the right thing.

Your Mum may be but don’t class us all the same! It’s very rude and judgemental.

You lost me at “is this a normal boomer parent”.

Normally I would say you should of left her she would of settled but the environment sounds unsafe so I think you did the right thing. Do you know what the numbers are how many kids per adult. Was the chaos just because everyone was arriving at once and separating to their own different age groups.

You did the right thing bringing her home given she was so upset and it was peak dropoff time and adding to the upset. She won't be traumatised unless you make it seem like she should be. It's just one day and it didn't work out.

She should be in the younger group. She'll likely be happier being an older one in the group. Do your best to drop her in when it's less busy on Monday and agree she can try it until lunch time if it helps - though if you don't need the childcare I'd sack it off unless she's keen to try again.

I disagree that she's too young for a holiday camp. Mine attended 9-3pm sessions in a local community centre at that age with no bother. They were led by kind staff and the kids had some low key fun. It really depends on the camp vibe, setup and staffing.

I think you did the right thing. She's only little and the camp sounds chaotic and messy.

Sounds a really crap camp and not safe for such a young child.

I would see if you can get a refund for the other days on the basis of them not even knowing which child is which - or at worst sending you a stock response without even checking!

I do think 4 (or even 5) is very young for a summer camp, unless maybe it’s part of a hobby they already do.

Agreeing with loads of others above. We use camps every holiday and I've never experienced anything like this. Do not take her back to that camp ever again! The phone call saying she had settled when she wasn't there is the reddest flag I have ever seen!

You cannot leave your child somewhere where they don't even know if she is there or not. They are lacking in basic care and I wouldn't trust them with a goldfish, let alone a child.

She’s 4, she should have been in the 3-4 group not the 5-7

my ds is a September baby and at infant school I could always see a massive difference between him and his classmates who were 10-11 months younger than him even after being at school together for a couple of years.

does sound like an especially shite camp though

You did the right thing.

in my experience sometimes camps are brilliant at this age, but also realistically sometimes it’s too much too young, but you don’t know until the day!

So you need to be flexible, which you were :)

Also it sounds like this one is not being run well (getting children muddled up is unforgivable!) so maybe ask for your money back and scrap this one!!

I’m sorry you’re having to juggle work stress today, but pat yourself on the back for the good parenting - work will figure itself out ; you have your priorities right x

I had a DS who would cry at drop offs to holiday camp despite as soon as my back being turned being fine. We pushed through and he is now at nearly 8 fine with being dropped off to camps he knows. He still wont entertain the idea of a new camp or a different camp for a different activity but I have at least 2 that he is happy with. BUT we had the full support of the staff. They would take him and settle him while I walked away. Encourage him with support and winning trophies and medals for confidence gained / most improved player / player of the camp sort of thing. Its really hard if you dont have their support in the moment.

I would be more concerned they had her when they didn't!

She’s too young! My dd went to a sports camp aged just 5 and this too was very busy with older kids also, it left her quite overwhelmed and teary when she was never usually like that. She needs a less chaotic club with more emphasis on ones her age, check online, there will be alternatives. This one sounds shocking, they weren’t looking out for her. Unacceptable-they should make sure little ones like her are settled in and not left milling about being worried