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AIBU?

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Breastfeeding judgement

109 replies

ByPearlDeer · 15/07/2025 10:32

My son is almost 20 months old. He is still breastfed and has always been a “boob monster”, obsessed with feeding and prefers it to eating solids etc. We have never had a feeding schedule (he’s always been on and off all day) and he’s always been fed on demand.

Now that he’s older I’m really feeling the judgement from family and friends. I’m constantly getting comments like “didn’t he just have a feed an hour ago?”, “how is he on there again?!”, “what a surprise, he’s back on the boob” etc.

He seems to get overwhelmed easily and in newer/unfamiliar environments he does request it a lot more and it seems to help to regulate him. He will often go in to a big meltdown if I refuse it.

On the weekend, we had a meet up with friends (who also have young babies). They said I really needed to put boundaries in place and let him cry, one said I just need to go “cold turkey” now. Even my partner (who on the whole is super supportive) said I’m the problem now and letting him dictate when he feeds too much.

I’m happy to keep breastfeeding, but it’s making me feel like I’m doing something weird/failing by not being stricter about it as I only hear negativity.

Is anyone else in a similar position? AIBU and should I be putting more boundaries in place now? I’m really cautious of meeting his emotional needs and want to tackle this gently.

OP posts:
Createausernameplease · 15/07/2025 10:48

CorbyTrouserPress · 15/07/2025 10:46

The OP used the word dictating. Ask her.

Ah my bad, I seem to have missed that part

CorbyTrouserPress · 15/07/2025 10:46

Createausernameplease · 15/07/2025 10:45

How is he dictating? Requesting a feed is surely the same as a child asking for a biscuit

The OP used the word dictating. Ask her.

Createausernameplease · 15/07/2025 10:45

CorbyTrouserPress · 15/07/2025 10:39

Is the judgement due to breastfeeding or the fact you are creating a child who ‘dictates’ at 20 months old?

How is he dictating? Requesting a feed is surely the same as a child asking for a biscuit

Scottishskifun · 15/07/2025 10:45

Nothing wrong with feeding a 20 month old however it is important to have boundaries with toddlers and you need to help him find other coping mechanisms.

Whilst I wouldn't let him cry/have a full on meltdown it's about building up the boundary. So if at home and just fed then say we have just had milking how about some water. Often distraction technique works on toddlers as well. How does he cope when out with Dad solo and its not an option? Does he have a comforter instead?

It also helps you to have some boundaries and stops you feeling touched out. I fed til 22 months and 27 months btw!

It's not that your right and others wrong or vice versa. It's about finding a balance and also equipping your toddler with other coping skills.

Charla69 · 15/07/2025 10:40

People are so ridiculous around breastfeeding, mine were breastfed until they were three and are strapping pre and young teen now.

Keep your son fed and happy and ignore the judgemental and uneducated morons.

CorbyTrouserPress · 15/07/2025 10:39

Is the judgement due to breastfeeding or the fact you are creating a child who ‘dictates’ at 20 months old?

DrJump · 15/07/2025 10:37

I fed all of mine til they were about 4.

HerVagestyTheQueef · 15/07/2025 10:37

Yep, fuck everybody else.
Do what's best for him and you.
If you plan to feed less and wean him off, do it gently and gradually, don't cold turkey.

Createausernameplease · 15/07/2025 10:34

I breastfed my first till he weaned himself at 2. WHO recommendeds breastfeeding till 2, your body your choice. Breastfeeding is more than nutrition, it’s bonding and closeness and his comfort. You do you and fuck everyone else

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