AIBU to think parents don’t need to be ultra smart/ formal for graduation ceremonies?

I'm sure you look lovely Tizer but obviously not everyone likes or can afford those brands. I don't have any of those brands in my wardrobe but still manage to look put together.

At Bristol all the parents looked fab as they were all beaming with pride. A fair few bohos who looked expensively dishevelled!

@ItisIbeserk The op asked about being ultra smart and formal. You have no idea what some parents will spend! If they were going for ultra smart it’s not a Primark look is it? If you don’t know brands, you can look them up and the sales are remarkably useful! A clsssy outfit can be won’t more than once. It’s an investment. If this is such a sprcidl day, as people believe it is, invest in it. If not just wear the £50 M&S dress. That is what the majority do in my view but I’ve been shouted down that I’m wrong and everyone looks like a wedding guest. Now you are saying they don’t and cannot afford to look like that! So which is it?

Of course they're obscure to the majority. Most have virtually no high street presence, with the exception of LK Bennett, which is far better known for pointy shoes. They are all well north of £100 for a dress or trousers, or even most of their tops. The majority of people, even those whose children go to university, are not spending that sort of money on clothes. You live in a bubble I'm afraid if those are staple brands. When you ask where I've been, I'd say living a pretty normal life.

I own and wear clothes from one of those brands (Me&Em) but they are increasingly out of my price range. I bet I could ask several friends, with professional jobs and decent incomes, about some of the other brands and not spark recognition. Most of us are buying our clothes secondhand now as it's the best way to get quality at an affordable price, and when you do that, you tend not to risk much on unfamiliar brands.

That’s probably the issue though. Not knowing what a good day brand looks like.

The issue is that people struggle to afford clothes at that price point. For the majority of people, £80-100 on a dress would be a major outlay for a special event. I don't wander around judging anyone on what they wear, so long as they feel like their best selves in it. The dress I wore this week was £25 from TKMaxx, and my sister wore a dress that's probably 15 years old from Principles. My son seemed pretty thrilled to see us and pose for photos with us.

I can't think of anything worse than dressing like the princess of Wales. Anyone wearing a coat dress, fascinator and nude heels would have looked a bit of a prat at the Bristol graduation.

@ItisIbeserk Unknown? Where have you been? Of course they are not unknown. That’s probably the issue though. Not knowing what a good day brand looks like. Plus people spend shed loads on this day.

Thank God it wasn’t American style graduation at ours - does Oxford do whooping and cheering? Anyone know?

I think the Princess of Wales is a good day dresser. Coat for winter and a dress for summer eg Wimbledon and usually Ascot. I guess I might have worn my silk shift to a wedding but it had black panels so ? Don't go to many weddings but I prefer a day dress and coat or ensemble including trousers. I think the op was really talking about bling wedding outfits. Not a shift dress.

Those brands are unaffordable new for most people, and unknown too.

Really? We were positively encouraged to whoop and cheer very loudly, on more than one occasion, by the heads of respective schools and the Chancellor. Not sure what you mean by ‘other cultures’ but there were plenty of UK students and International students, everyone was keeping up the requested ‘noise’ pretty evenly I’d say.

I wouldn’t wear anything cheap looking to a wedding @TizerorFizz
I might wear silk palazzo pants and a lovely top though.
Unlikely to wear things the Princess of Wales would wear at any point though - partly a matter of style, partly of finance.
I rarely wear dresses to work or otherwise, but I did for DDs graduation.

DS1 went to Warwick, his flatmates were from Singapore, India and China. The families of many international students were in their National dress. Some fabulous outfits to be seen.
We dressed up as much as we would for a wedding, posh frock and suit.

Ah yes those well known brands 🤣

Lots of the loud whoopers and cheerers are from other cultures ime (and I've worked more graduations than I care to think about)

I think those suggesting that their idea of celebrating their child’s success is the only acceptable way are just weird.

@Seeline I dressed smartly for work! I don’t get this idea that everyone looks corporate or wears t shirts every day. Lots of people can, and do, wear day dresses for work.

Wedding smart is usually more glitzy these days. Not that it’s my style. So it might be gold shoes, a fascinator/hat, satin or something that you wear in the evening. I think the Brits are poor at day dressing for a more formal occasion but we have some great high st type brands that make it easy - LK Bennett, Me&Em, Cefinn, Rixo, and loads of others plus anything Princess of Wales would wear. Decent jewellery and bag lifts a well cut shirt dress for example. Kirsty Allsopp wears these all the time. Easy to dress up. Ditto swishy palazzo pants with a silk top. Decent fabrics and a good cut trump cheap looking wedding attire.

Tell you what IS essential - tissues. I found it so very emotional to see my child up there after a very challenging few years. I personally loved the people who cheered and waved their kids, and the atmosphere was a perfect blend of enough formality to make it feel like the importance of their achievement was recognised and relaxed enough to feel accessible and enjoyable. A far cry from my own graduation which I remember mostly as in Latin.

You don’t want to honour the gravitas by joining in, nor lighten the situation with levity. Got it.

You make it known that ties arent ….” Making it better” in your view. Got it. Thanks.

When my DD and DS graduated,my husband wore a suit with shirt and tie to both ceremonies.
I wore a dress to both.
Looking around the other proud parents ,the majority of men were in suits or chinos with a smart jacket.Most of the women wore dresses or smart trousers.

I agree - that is wedding attire. And that is appropriate for the occasion.
People weren't in work dresses or jeans or leggings or shorts.

What you describe yourself wearing is pretty much wedding attire for a guest isn’t it? What would you be wearing for a wedding more dressed up than that?

I think there is a difference between not needing "added gravitas" and needing "comedy".

I don't think that making men wearing ties makes a graduation ceremony better.

Depends on how you define wedding smart I suppose. The last graduation I went to could easily have been mistaken for a wedding on the basis of the guests’ outfits.

@Seeline Since when is what you describe dressing up? Dresses for women are fairly standard aren’t they? I’ve seen wedding attire described as being the norm! It’s not. Uwe is jackets for men and a decent dress or trouser suit for women. Standard day clothes that are not informal, but they are not wedding clothes and if people dressed like a formal wedding guest, on a hot day, it would be inappropriate. As a I said earlier a linen suit for a man, or quality separates, and a dress from a natural fabric for women and trousers with appropriate top are fine.

I wore a silk floral shift dress for DD1 and palazzo pants and a silk top for DD2. That was LCF and Grayson Perry handed out the degrees so who cared what anyone wore quite frankly! It ranged from top level designers to very casual! Uwe parents aren’t going around looking at everyone and making judgements. My neighbour’s DS went to Uwe as did friends twins. From photos they seem to be smart but not wedding smart.

Do you think everyone dressing up is trying to keep up with the Jones's? Looking nice doesn't have to be super formal. Yes everyone should 'be themselves' but it's a celebration...surely most parents would be secure enough to not need to make stubborn pronouncements about 'who they are' on their child's special day.

It's a special occasion, so I don't see why you wouldn't want to wear something nice/special. Doesn't have to be super formal, but why dress like any other day, when it's a special day?

My dad wore a suit and my mom a nice dress - most people's parents did. They don't own a lot of winter wear (they live in a hot country and our grad was in Nov) so they did have big puffy jackets on outside 😆

One of my friend's mom's turned up in jeans, seemed bored, impatient with the whole thing. Like she had a just finished work and was at a parent teacher conference or something. I felt sad for my friend. She put on a brave face but I know she was disappointed.

We attended graduation this week. I wore a long summer dress and sandals (and at the last minute a jacket as it was raining torrentially and I didn't want to sit in the ceremony looking like I'd entered a wet t-shirt competition) and DH wore a linen shirt and trousers as he realised late in the day he didn't own a suit jacket he could comfortably wear on a sticky hot day - he bought a linen jacket off Vinted as we sat waiting for the ceremony to start.

I just went to look online at the graduation FAQs and there is no mention of a dress code. We instinctively went for smartish but the majority of men were in suits and the majority of women looked like me. Having said that, I wouldn't really notice anyone dressed more casually and there were certainly other men without suits on, as well as the national dress others have mentioned.

I'd say hats would have been deeply unpopular as they would have blocked views. I can't see they would have added any at all to the occasion.

i don’t think dressing casually makes things less boring. Unless you are thinking parents should wear comedic costumes for levity?