AIBU to think parents don’t need to be ultra smart/ formal for graduation ceremonies?

Exactly. Anyway the OP has now been to her DCs graduation and has dressed smartly (just not in a dress but that's OK).

A graduation is arguably a greater achievement than getting married, so why shouldn't the proud parents dress up if they want?

Had to come back to this as it's my dd's graduation next week and she said to me this evening that her dad (xh) had said he might wear jeans with a shirt and jacket - she wasn't impressed but didn't quibble, although she would rather he just wore a suit. (He has plenty of formal wear.) And then he said that he might wear jeans, a t-shirt and a jacket, and she apparently then put her foot down! She's told him he can have one more casual item but that's the maximum 😁

And if that’s what they 2ant to do and feel happy doing, what difference does it make?
some level of tidiness/good presentation is required to respect the occasion and the work of the people graduating. Beyond that everyone should wear what they want..

Parents don’t need formal wear for a graduation. My DH wore smart trousers, waistcoat & shirt, no tie, I wore smart dress and sandals. There were some mothers there who were dressed like mother of the bride!

@MimiGC thanks for the update and glad you had a lovely day celebrating your dc.

Equally glad as I have been panicking about what to wear next week to my dcs grad from UWE so relieved that it can maybe be slightly less formal than I first thought - I’m sure I have something that fits the bill as I’ve struggled to find anything I thought was appropriate and that I might wear again!!

Vinted is your friend for these occasions I got a dress for £30 new would have been £120 and sandals for £15

Ask your son what he wants you to wear. My son wasn’t bothered. My daughter wanted full get up like it was her wedding. But generally it was suits and dresses. Some of the parents were more funky and casual but their children graduating had also gone for that look too

No, you said that was what people wear to weddings. Cheap looking stuff.
Anyway, nice summer dress and sandals is wedding attire (in summer obvs) for me and most people I know. So exactly what happened.

@cardibach Hmmm. Not sure I really thought cheap looking satin! Never ever worn that. I thought wedding type suits and obviously formal dresses and jackets were not required. If I said satin, that was a joke! The op did ask about ultra smart and I don’t believe I said cheap satin was uber smart. I would definitely have said avoid it! Ditto looking like the MOTB.

Dh wore chinos, jacket and a shirt. No tie.

That sort of level was fine

Yes, but your idea of wedding formal was cheap looking satin wasn’t it? Whereas I and many others would wear a good quality summer dress and sandals for a wedding, which is exactly what happened!

@MimiGC Well some of us did say it wasn’t wedding formal!

Some of these replies are hilarious ‘dress up because you might be in the background of someone else’s photo’ haha what did I just read 🤣
OP as long as you’re relatively smart and not wearing a tracky you’ll be fine. Also if you don’t normally wear that style of dress just wear a nice version of your own style. I’ve never worn a jacket or blazer in my life

I wore a boho skirt and cami, oh wore chino shorts and a shortsleeved shirt. It was a super hot day and most of the men weren’t in suits. Some were in trousers, a few in jeans and chinos etc. The women (other than me and one or two others) all wore floral dresses of some description. Nobody was in formal wedding attire.
Wear what you feel comfortable in, nobody else will give a shit and if they do, who cares- you’ll never see them again

That’s lovely @MimiGC
For what it’s worth, I think a lot of the disagreement on here was centred around what people meant by ‘wedding attire’. I’d wear a summer dress and flats to a wedding. It might be a slightly more upmarket one, but not fancy.

Being smart - even very smart - doesn’t equate to being overdressed and too hot. There are many cool, comfortable smart options.

Depends on the weather. People shouldn't have to overdress and suffer on a heatwave day.

No, just standard white heels from Office.

@JaninaDuszejko Isn’t that a pair of shoes for the bride? Louboutin do a white pair! I think tanned legs like Claudia are vital though.

My 17yo has just asked me to buy her white heels for a family wedding. Both her and my 16yo are wearing shoes very similar in style to the ones I wore in the 80s. And my point was nude (or black or white) shoes are seen as neutrals that go with everything because not everyone can afford to buy a new pair of heels for every outfit.

And I've now remembered my Mum has a gorgeous pair of Russell and Bromley beige heels she bought in the 80s, more detailed than the Princess of Wales nude heels though.

White heels went out in the 80s. I think Claudia Winkelman might have a pair! No I don’t have nude heels! Nude loafers! Tod’s did great ones! They look great with white jeans. Not that I’d recommend that look for uni degree ceremony but it’s still a nice look with nude shoes.

some of us actually like nude shoes if they work with the outfit!

You like them don’t have any? Maybe some will be in the sales so you could get some!

Not keen on white heels either really. But probably better than nude, with the right outfit…

I think they look awful with everything. So a wasted purchase. Obviously thousands of women disagree and that’s fine!