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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH annoyed, who is in the wrong?

112 replies

candalll · 14/07/2025 21:56

So basically my DC (2) has had an enlarged lymph node for 2 months now.

We were told to come back if it was still there a month ago.

The GP has referred us to the paediatric team.

My DH is absolutely fuming at me for booking the GP appointment.

He thinks that’s it’s normal to have enlarged lymph nodes.
I had to get the GP to explain what an enlarged lymph node can indicate an infection or very rarely cancer and he still wasn’t having it.

I feel as if I have wasted the GP’s time and just took DC in for no reason.

Have I done the right thing?

My dad has had cancer so anything health wise that is a concern I do book a GP appointment but not for minor things.

The last time we went to the GP prior to this was in June (for the enlarger lymph node and ringworm) and prior to this was in January (after a pharmacist referred us) so it’s not like I am always even taking DC to the GP.

OP posts:
ShesTheAlbatross · 14/07/2025 22:06

Is he actually trying to prevent you seeing the dr?

Or is he more a very medically nervous person who tends to just think “no no everything is fine!!” because he’s too scared to consider the alternative? That still really isn’t ok when it’s a child’s health you’re talking about. But it’s more “understandable” as opposed to “abusive dick preventing medical treatment”.

Moonnstars · 14/07/2025 22:04

The GP obviously took your concern seriously else they would not have made the referral. I think when it comes to young children doctors would always rather you take them in and everything be fine that to not take them and to be left worrying about it. You have done the right thing.

proximalhumerous · 14/07/2025 22:03

candalll · 14/07/2025 21:59

He hates DC going to the GP or hospital because he hates hospitals himself.

Is he always like this unfortunately.

I try and be a good mother and I am just ridiculed all the time.

His medical approach would be to call up one of his friends and ask them if they have experienced anything was DC is experiencing.

Unless all his friends are paediatricians that's just weird.

Haveanaiceday · 14/07/2025 22:02

Can I jump straight to LTB?

Justhereforthebants · 14/07/2025 22:02

There is absolutely nothing more important than your child’s health. NOTHING! Tell your husband to “piss off” and stop being a dick.

Original poster
candalll · 14/07/2025 22:01

I had an enlarged lymph node under my neck about 8 years ago and the GP immediately sent me to the hospital for blood tests and explained to me what is could indicate.

OP posts:
Whatwouldnanado · 14/07/2025 22:01

Is your Dh a doctor? You had it checked once and are now going back as instructed. Other medically trained people will be along shortly I am sure. In the meantime I think you’re doing the right thing. It’s concerning dh has this attitude. Does he think you are fussing somehow? Our lovely GP always reassured me to go with my gut and raise concerns, better to be sensible and safe.

fassnk · 14/07/2025 21:59

If a GP - a medical professional - has referred you to the paediatric team then they think your DC needs to be seen for further investigations. I would take their opinion over my DHs any day. Unless he is a superiorly qualified medical professional, he can fuck off with his thoughts and making you doubt yourself.

Original poster
candalll · 14/07/2025 21:59

He hates DC going to the GP or hospital because he hates hospitals himself.

Is he always like this unfortunately.

I try and be a good mother and I am just ridiculed all the time.

His medical approach would be to call up one of his friends and ask them if they have experienced anything was DC is experiencing.

OP posts:
usedtobeaylis · 14/07/2025 21:58

You were told by the GP to go back and have now been referred on, sounds like you done the right thing? I don't really understand why your husband would object to following the doctors advice.

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 14/07/2025 21:57

Your DH is a dick!

Enlarged lymph nodes are.not normal andnneed investigation. You were told to go back if no improvement which is what you did.

Is he always such a twat?

BackThen8878 · 14/07/2025 21:57

What a strange post. Why is your DH fuming? To be clear, he doesn't want your DC to receive medical attention? Because that's abuse.