To think some people treat IVF like ordering a designer baby?

Are you really 'not sure'?

It's because the OP didn't write 'do you think people ever select for gender doing IVF'. The answer is, yes, clearly people do. The OP said some people treat IVF like ordering a designer baby. She then described some extremely unlikely situations as if they were commonplace.

The reason people are 'giving her a hard time' is because this is goady shite. It feeds into the idea that IVF is fairly easy. I'm in the middle of doing IVF at the moment, and it is not easy. It's grim.

But you would be amazed how many people buy into that idea that it's easy. Men and women. The last cycle I did, I was working a physical job, and there was a point when I simply couldn't do it - the clinic told me not to lift anything heavy; you risk ovarian torsion, which is agonising and also potentially pretty awful for your fertility - and you would be amazed how many people expressed confusion. 'But how come it's not just like any other monthly cycle?' (Er, because I am doped up on a ton of hormones and my ovaries are the size of oranges, you idiot.)

People also think it must work pretty well. Because if you read nonsense like the OP's posts, wouldn't you assume it works most of the time? And that hides the reality that, most of the time, IVF doesn't work. Yes, it's a wonderful technology, but even for young, healthy women, it is often a failure, and a gruelling, expensive failure at that.

That's why the OP's post is making people cross.

I have done so many cycles I can tell you it's the most painful, emotional roller coaster I've ever experienced. No sane person would choose to do it unless they have to. Those people you refer to must be 0.0000001% and it's absolutely not a 'growing' trend. I'll be happy if my baby is healthy. That's all I ask.

With so much gender disappointment on here, it wouldn't surprise me if people chose the sex if they had the choice. They absolutely would!

A quick Google will tell you that you can have gender selective IVF in Northern Cyprus, people can and do travel from the UK to use this service. In other countries there are other services offered (though I know little about this myself).

I'm not sure why people are giving the OP such a hard time about their post, they never said it was specifically happening in the UK. The fact it is happening anywhere in the world concerns me.

I really hate posts like this. It gives people the idea IVF is easy. It really isn't.

I don't even begin to believe any sane person thinks of IVF in terms of ordering a designer baby. What you've seen is either companies advertising pie in the sky nonsense (like selecting for IQ), or people making the best of a tough situation. I do see people doing that - there's a woman I follow on instagram who posts a lot about how she and her wife made their family. It's not my style, but she quite clearly does it to cheer herself up around the awful bits, and I really can't judge someone for that.

How on earth do you think people are "curating" embryos for cosmetic purposes? You can't even tell how a baby is going to look as an adult after they're born, let alone as a handful of microscopic cells.

No, I think you completely misunderstand IVF.
Posting updates hardly makes it a designer baby.
What traits do you think are designed in or out? The only thing that takes place in the UK is genetically testing embryos for serious genetic conditions in order to implant a foetus that will not suffer from this. This takes place for the most serious genetic conditions. Hardly a designer baby.

The stuff you are referring to is illegal in the UK and most other countries.

Stop consuming US based Tiktok, it will rot your brain.

how does one 'select traits' in IVF? I know there is PID and sometimes sex selection but traits????

Can’t say I’ve ever heard of this. Only of multiple attempts, repeated heartbreaking failures, and just the odd, eventual happy outcome. A friend of a dd had one expensive failure after the other, and decided to give up, but after a few years, knowing that there was still one embryo, went ahead with it - never expecting it to work - but bingo!

Super rich people might be doing some sort of selection.

But most people if they are doing IVF with their significant other- aren't doing any of this screening.

How are you supposed to check the predicted intelligence or height of an embryo from the same two people. At this point in time it's just marketing.

Unless specifically choosing a specific sex of the embryo or choosing a donor with specific traits.

The rest will be just marketing. Especially if they are using their own gametes.

For God's sake get off SM and live your life. Whatever you are reading is either bullshit or in another jurisdiction so has no relevance here and isn't topical. You are just trying to start a pointless debate.

I have had four transfers. One negative, one miscarriage and two children so not too bad.

@MyHazelCritic how was your IVF journey? Do all clinics offer these services?

Absolutely. When I (finally) told my wider family that we were undergoing IVF they acted as though I was already pregnant and that a baby was the inevitable result. They thought the odds were much higher than they actually are. I did three and no baby. I gave up after that.

Yes you can if you test them and go to Cyprus.

I assume this is happening in the US? I'm in a European country and it's certainly isn't allowed here - even surrogacy and embryo donation are illegal here. Before the war people went to Ukraine to find a surrogate and to Spain for donor embryos. When I was in hospital during my first pregnancy my roommate had been to Spain twice. None of the donor embryos had stuck though. She had ended up with a surprise natural pregnancy 4 years after they'd given up on fertility treatments.

I did IVF and it took 8 transfers to get my daughter - that was the one where a treatment had just been approved that they hoped would work for me. It did - finally an embryo was able to both implant and not end up being miscarried. I still ended up with a disabled child though (nothing to do with the embryo itself). My current pregnancy they did the same treatment beforehand and the first transfer actually worked this time. I'm now 29 weeks and thankfully everything looks fine - no sign of the disability my daughter has or any other anomalies.

Would you like to know how much 9 embryo transfers costs? Plus all the IVF meds that health insurance doesn't cover. Oh, and the additional progesterone injections I had at the beginning of this pregnancy that I had to pay for myself because insurance would only pay for the pessaries I was also on until 13 weeks. We certainly didn't go through all of that just to get a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes (which my daughter happens to have, but then so do my mum and sister and my partner's sister).

Lol you have never needed to even consider IVF have you?

This (eugenics) is illegal in most of the world. Places like some US states, Mexico and Northern Cyprus allow that or some of that. Some people are forced to do IVF with sex selection there (and pay $$$)! if they have a genetic illness in the family that passes down the male line for example. I might be wrong, but I don’t think it is legal to select sex even for this reason (in the countries where eugenics are prohibited).

Watched a thing on adoption recently it was similar adopters had a list of likes and dislikes for this designer lucky child was not nice to watch it a child not an Argos order

I always think people who say things like this obviously know absolutely nothing about how the IVF process actually is. Yabu.

Also I don’t see any of this coming to the UK any time soon.

Yep, here ya go. You can all have a field day with these links. Pay a premium and you can get an Ivy League grad or a Miss Universe.

It’s not particularly new. However it is very, very, very niche. And there are never any guarantees for anyone despite what the ads might imply.

https://www.fertility-docs.com

donornexus.com/premier-egg-donors

Exactly. Load of goady and offensive nonsense. I'm out!