To ask what ridiculous things people have said to you in pregnancy/parenthood?

When i was pregnant with ds1 and proudly showing off my ultrasound scan photo as you do, someone told me off and said i shouldn't be showing photos of my baby when he didn't have clothes on!

After my older 3 dc were all late, dc4 surprised us all by being born early and spending 4 weeks in the neonatal unit. When i was pregnant with dc5 the "haven't you had that baby yet?" rubbish started when i was 30 weeks pregnant.

Another parent, in the school playground, after I’d had my 3rd ds, and in front of the other two “Oh my goodness! 3 boys! I expect you were hoping for a girl?”

Someone tried to touch my bump and when I said “please don’t do that” she burst into tears!

People are batshit.

I had my two relatively close together, so DD1 was barely walking when I was in early pregnancy. My neighbour (who had found out I was pregnant accidentally when we bumped into each other in the midwives office) told me quite seriously I shouldn't be picking up my toddler anymore...
I'm not sure what I was supposed to do, let her crawl down the street after me?

I was also told by my HV that I shouldn't be sending the children to the local school, that parents "of my class" usually send them to a village school 10 miles away.... that isn't exactly how the state system works!

The random strangers who'd argue with me about my due date.

Funnily enough I was right and knew the difference between 6 months and 12 months (and the scans were right that there was only one swimming around in all that amniotic fluid)

"Pregnancy's not an illness"
Sometimes it does a fucking good impression of it!

I had an emergency section, sepsis and a pph. My milk never came in - not a drop. I tried and tried on the postnatal ward, with no access to feeding support as it was lockdown. The hospital insisted on me giving formula eventually, my poor baby was so hungry by that point. Even when I was eventually discharged I kept trying, attaching myself to the various different pumps we bought to try every 2 hours and basically sobbing non stop for the first weeks of my baby’s life. I tried an (online and extortionate) consultation with a lactation consultant, no help. I really really tried.

I dont think I could talk about it without crying till DC was 2 or more. When she was about 6 months I was attending a PND support group and theyd arranged for a doula and self styled maternal mental health expert to talk to us, she asked us in turn what we were struggling most with and when I related the above, still visibly upset, she said ‘oh well you mustnt blame yourself too much, lots of women give up’.

I didn’t bloody give up, I fed my baby in the only way that was available to me.

I can't believe you didn't reply with something like "Oh, blimey - I clean forgot to give birth!"

'Just adopt then?' Said by a friend after I told her about my miscarriage. It still shocks me but I suspect it's one of those stupid things you say that you cringe about afterwards.

I’m always surprised by how many people ask if it was planned.

Adult, married, toddler etc… and a random person at work or family member will say “was this baby planned then?”

Just… why do you want to know?

Baby born by emergency c-section at 29 weeks.

”Aren’t you glad you didn’t go through this” - Midwife in the labour ward where I was having my 6 week check up and another woman was going through early labour.

”Lucky you missing the third trimester” - community nurse checking my c-section scar.

”Ok, let’s see this lovely baby then” - first visit from health visitor when my baby was still in NNICU and I’d only been home for 2 days.

”God, you look awful” - my brother in-law who came to the house to cut my hair because I hadn’t been to a hairdresser in months due to the hectic nature of the last few weeks of my pregnancy and daughter being in NNiCU. I looked awful because I was anaemic having lost so much blood during surgery.

People are shit, but some people just don’t care!

Wait til they are teenagers, that's when it gets hard!

(What a stupid thing to say to someone with a small child. When I heard that I just assumed they were an incompetent person who was lucky enough to have an easy child and couldn't cope when a real personality kicked in)

At least you know where they are!
(See above).

Sure it's easy when you've only one!
(Completely relative, depends on which one you've got! Stupid comment)

To a pg woman: Enjoy the lie ins, you'll never have them again.
(Why point out the negatives,.most expectant mothers worry about this)

Not at all. Just hope that looking back you don’t have those feelings anymore, however you fed your child is absolutely the right way for you both.

Exdp's mum was dying when I was induced with dd, we promised her as soon as we were released from hospital we would bring dd to visit. The nurse at the hospital told me I wasn't allowed to take her out the house til she was 12 weeks old and had had her vaccines. I laughed and told her inwas having a baby not a puppy but she was deadly serious.

I was 12 weeks pregnant. A man, a mate of my DH, said to me in response to me saying how sick I've been so far and how I can't even leave the house much: "but being pregnant is so magical, none of that really matters".

I hate him. I can't explain how belittling it felt.

It's been over a year and I refused to even invite him to my birthday. Twat.

Very pregnant and having a health check with nurse, her asking me if I was retaining water, swollen ankles etc. then she said oo you are I can see it in your face... i get that she was thinking high blood pressure, it runs in the family, but I left thinking great I have a fat face....

Fair comment, and a poor choice of words on my part.

It wasn’t the ‘next best thing’ @BarrageMarroon, it was the best thing for you and your child and other opinions on the matter are irrelevant. I’m sorry that it made you feel like a failure.

I wouldn’t pay any attention to any child-free friend who commented on parenting or gave me advice. I was probably full of shit opinions and received wisdom before I had any too.

For me, it’s the breast-feeding zealots. I tried, I couldn’t, it just didn’t happen, so I went for the next best thing. DD was fed and healthy, but unsolicited opinions made me feel like a total failure.

All of my 3 children arrived 2+ weeks late and the number of people who said ‘haven’t you had that baby yet?’ to me was incredible.

I know they were kidding and making conversation but it made me so unreasonably furious, as though they thought I’d forgotten to give birth and was enjoying being as big as a fecking house.

There were a few but the one I always remember was about my six week old baby: “she’s clearly bored, you are not giving her enough stimulation”.

The sad thing is when I think back to my first child, I just took all the advice and believed people knew what they were talking about. Thankfully with my second I had more confidence to follow my own instincts.

My baby was poorly and had to go into hospital weekly. It was a horrendously stressful time and I was shell shocked. A friend told me ‘oh my god, if you think it’s tough now, just wait until they get older!’
I was traumatised by that comment.. as a new mum with a child with medical needs I was barely coping.. and the thought of this being the easy oart nearly sent me under!! Now I look back and think what a stupid and insensitive thing to say to a parent with an ill child.

About 6 months after having my baby, a colleague of mine (around 20 years older than me) asked when I’d be having my second. I said there would be no sibling. She said I was cruel leaving them to be an only child.

Thankfully she retired a few months later!

I had HG, and was just barely keeping hydrated enough with meds.

Midwife said it was "best to stop if I could". Meds had no negative side effects, whereas I was at high risk for pre-eclampsia, which I eventually did contract.

I swear some midwives are just out to get pregnant women suffering.

Being told by the midwife I was wetting myself when I'd had no incontinence at all in my pregnancy. Needless to say, my waters had broken. 12 hours later, back in hospital and all of a sudden this is massively important piece of information and why didn't I say so earlier.