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AIBU?

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Original poster

To expect my neighbour to stop her son playing the recorder in the garden?

158 replies

Alonero · 14/07/2025 20:34

Not sure if I’m being precious but I need a sanity check.

Next door’s little boy (8ish?) has taken up the recorder and every single evening he’s out in the garden squeaking away. He’s clearly just learning – bless him – but it’s the same few notes over and over, really loud and really shrill. It’s been going on for a couple of weeks now and honestly it’s starting to drive me up the wall.

We’ve had all the windows open with the heat and it’s impossible to relax. You can’t have a conversation in the kitchen without it sounding like you’re being heckled by a flock of geese. I tried to hint to his mum the other day – said something like “ooh, we’ve been treated to quite the performance lately” – and she just laughed and said he’s a musical genius in the making. Right.

I don’t want to be the grumpy neighbour who ruins a kid’s joy but surely there’s a time and a place? Or at least… maybe indoors with the windows shut?

AIBU to think a bit of peace in your own garden isn’t too much to ask?

OP posts:
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nonevernotever · 17/08/2025 19:28

SprayWhiteDung · 14/07/2025 21:36

How many top flight professional recorder players do you know of, though? Ones who release solo albums?

At least something like an ocarina would be much kinder for a starter instrument.

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Dozens and dozens! It's increasingly recognised as a proper instrument in it's own right.

Freud2 · 15/07/2025 23:19

CelestialGazer · 14/07/2025 22:08

ABBA? How about “Thank You for the Music”?

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Definitely have a proper word with the neighbours about how irritating it is.

Freud2 · 15/07/2025 23:17

Alonero · 14/07/2025 20:44

He usually goes for about 30–40 mins, sometimes longer if he’s “composing” (his word, not mine). It’s always early evening so we’re trying to cook, get DC bathed etc and it’s just constant tooting.

You’re probably right that his mum’s had enough indoors and shoves him out. Might try the music idea – maybe a bit of ABBA will drown it out and encourage a duet 😅

Also very relieved to hear recorder stardom isn’t a big pipeline – if this is a short phase I’ll grit my teeth and get through it!

It would drive me mad. Unfortunately there are very few neighbours in my long experience of different houses, that are considerate. I'm always aware of annoying neighbours in any way but have never had that thoughtfulness back.

Lansonmaid · 15/07/2025 22:48

Fifthtimelucky · 14/07/2025 22:55

Rubbish. The recorder is absolutely a great instrument in the right hands, though of course bigger recorders are generally easier on the ear than the descant recorders usually used in primary schools.

Recorders are the perfect starter instrument: they are very cheap, need little if any maintenance, and, though lightweight, are virtually indestructible!

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Agreed. The recorder can be lovely, there’s a group called Palisander who play beautiful music. But when it’s overblown by kids just starting out it can be a bit of a torture

cardibach · 15/07/2025 22:16

Londonmummy66 · 15/07/2025 17:36

In my experience only the harp manages to sound good in the hands of a beginner and only if someone else has tuned it.

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Obviously. Beginners are shit. I was responding to someone saying recorders can’t sound good even in the hands of an expert.

CeciliaMars · 15/07/2025 20:35

I’m very impressed that any kid will practise the recorder for 30-40 mins a night!!

MarySueSaidBoo · 15/07/2025 20:17

Buy an air horn and join in. Say you're practising for an event.

Barney16 · 15/07/2025 20:16

There was a programme on Radio 4 today called Rocking the Recorder
"Susan Calman celebrates one of the most misunderstood and misrepresented music instruments of all time - the recorder. "

Kjpt140v · 15/07/2025 19:56

Leave the kid alone. It will last a few days at most.

BlueyNeedsToFuckOff · 15/07/2025 19:13

SemperIdem · 15/07/2025 17:52

Agree with the harp! Piano can ok with a beginner too, I think.

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Until they learn “Chopsticks”

asrl78 · 15/07/2025 18:50

Jc2001 · 15/07/2025 11:35

Which is probably the reason his parents sent him out into the garden practice in the first place.

Edited
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Classic, the parent can't stand the noise but it is perfectly ok to inflict it on other people. Get lost, if you buy your kid a recorder you can deal with the consequences.

Pinkissmart · 15/07/2025 17:59

Previous neighbours kid used to sing the same song over and over and over. In the shower with the windows open.
F'kin annoying.

SemperIdem · 15/07/2025 17:52

Londonmummy66 · 15/07/2025 17:36

In my experience only the harp manages to sound good in the hands of a beginner and only if someone else has tuned it.

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Agree with the harp! Piano can ok with a beginner too, I think.

Londonmummy66 · 15/07/2025 17:36

cardibach · 15/07/2025 13:42

Even though people have posted actual recordings of it sounding lovely? Do you think any instrument sounds good in the first few months? Especially if played by a very small person and without expert teaching?

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In my experience only the harp manages to sound good in the hands of a beginner and only if someone else has tuned it.

OldWomanInACardigan · 15/07/2025 13:44

"heckled by a flock of geese" 😂😂

Put some music on to drown out his noise

cardibach · 15/07/2025 13:42

MumofSpud · 15/07/2025 12:40

No one can convince me that practising a recorder will help it sound any better sorrynotsorry Grin

Even though people have posted actual recordings of it sounding lovely? Do you think any instrument sounds good in the first few months? Especially if played by a very small person and without expert teaching?

Skyrise · 15/07/2025 13:13

"You can’t have a conversation in the kitchen without it sounding like you’re being heckled by a flock of geese."
😂

But YANBU, I'm amazed that the mother would let her son practice the recorder outside. If he was a concert violinist then that's different, but an 8 year old with a recorder...

Londonmummy66 · 15/07/2025 13:00

Very experienced primary music teacher and professional wind player once stood up in a school assembly and explained to the watching parents that next term the pupils would be starting recorder. Her advice was that when practising at home it should be played into a cushion against the wall to deaden the sound. Works well.

MumofSpud · 15/07/2025 12:40

No one can convince me that practising a recorder will help it sound any better sorrynotsorry Grin

ButtCheeks · 15/07/2025 12:25

glittercunt · 15/07/2025 00:09

Play this loudly every time and see if there's a change:

you beat me to it 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

cardibach · 15/07/2025 12:20

BlueyNeedsToFuckOff · 15/07/2025 12:19

Tonguing is something you should be doing from day 1 as a wind or brass player.

And if you think that’s shudder-worthy, wait until you hear about flutter-tonguing…

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Oh well done. I hesitated to mention it…
Or double tonguing.
Or circular breathing.

BlueyNeedsToFuckOff · 15/07/2025 12:19

hepsitemiz · 15/07/2025 11:55

I wouldn’t be so sure about that. My school friend did precisely that, became a recorder prodigy. At the advanced levels you get into what they call “tonguing” (shudder)

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Tonguing is something you should be doing from day 1 as a wind or brass player.

And if you think that’s shudder-worthy, wait until you hear about flutter-tonguing…

BeanQuisine · 15/07/2025 12:18

It is perhaps a shame that schools so often introduce small children to wind instruments via the recorder - which is quite a technically demanding instrument - instead of the tin or penny whistle, which is easier to learn and has an engagingly sweet sound even when played badly.

The recorder, when played well, is a versatile instrument with a fluid bird-like quality of tone, and recorder virtuosos are always in demand on the early music scene.

I sometimes play baroque recorder music in my study and the birds nesting in the roof join in.

cardibach · 15/07/2025 12:15

hepsitemiz · 15/07/2025 11:55

I wouldn’t be so sure about that. My school friend did precisely that, became a recorder prodigy. At the advanced levels you get into what they call “tonguing” (shudder)

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That’s not advanced. It’s a basic wind or brass instrument necessity. Not quite sure why the shudder either. Words have more than one meaning shocker.

hepsitemiz · 15/07/2025 11:55

Dreamerinme · 14/07/2025 20:41

‘Heckled by a flock of geese’ 😂

How long does he play for? Maybe it drives his DM up the wall and that why he’s out in the garden. Put on some music of your own just loud enough to block it out. Never heard of anyone become a recorder-playing superstar so it will probably be a short-lived phase.

I wouldn’t be so sure about that. My school friend did precisely that, became a recorder prodigy. At the advanced levels you get into what they call “tonguing” (shudder)

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