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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wife work - no thanks

159 replies

whistlesandbells · 14/07/2025 18:50

Quiet small victories of showing up for yourself in a relationship. DH ‘suggested’ that he goes out to the cinema with his 17 year old son 2 days after his mother arrives from overseas for a two week visit. I said absolutely not: your mother, you invited, you entertain. I really like my MIL btw.

The following week I am traveling with our shared 2-year old alone and he has that week to do all this undisturbed and no house guest.
There is no way I would invite my mother to visit then go out and leave him to it. 🤯 The expectations on women are wild.

OP posts:
Original poster
whistlesandbells · 14/07/2025 19:06

Dillydollydingdong · 14/07/2025 19:05

Why don't you all go to the cinema together, as a family outing?

Nice idea but it is at 7pm and I have to look after and put our two year old to bed.

OP posts:
HuskyNew · 14/07/2025 19:05

You are in the right OP.

is this standing up for yourself a new thing? How did he take it?

Original poster
whistlesandbells · 14/07/2025 19:05

Also, an 85 year old woman has got on a plane to visit you (needing all kinds of assistance) and you go out on the second night. It’s a bit bloody rude, but there you go.

OP posts:
TimeForATerf · 14/07/2025 19:05

YANBU, I can just imagine a reverse if this situation, it simply wouldn’t happen. “DH, I’m off out for the day with DC and friends, mums staying and you will be expected to entertain her all day when I’m out”

unbelievable.

Dillydollydingdong · 14/07/2025 19:05

Why don't you all go to the cinema together, as a family outing?

Original poster
whistlesandbells · 14/07/2025 19:02

You have a right to your opinion. I have the right to not be left entertaining his mother so he can go to the cinema a day after she has arrived. The film is on for weeks, btw.

I work full time and he has a child free week to spend as he likes the following week. I certainly never expected similar from him with my parents. I don’t like the assumption he made that this is okay to put on me. 🤷‍♀️ I feel better for saying no rather than resentment.

OP posts:
Lifeisinteresting · 14/07/2025 19:00

tilypu · 14/07/2025 18:57

So you think it's acceptable for the host to leave the guest in someone else's company (that hasn't consented to this) in order to go to the cinema? Would you do this to your parent if they were visiting? Just leave them with whoever happens to be home?

I'm with you op. Fair enough had he asked you and you were totally on board with it. But that's not the case here.

Show quote history

Yes, as my parents and in-laws are adults who I’m sure wouldn’t begrudge a parent having an evening with their child.

tilypu · 14/07/2025 18:57

Lifeisinteresting · 14/07/2025 18:52

@whistlesandbells i don’t think your husband going to the cinema with his son should be an issue at any time of year. I think your expectations here are unrealistic.

So you think it's acceptable for the host to leave the guest in someone else's company (that hasn't consented to this) in order to go to the cinema? Would you do this to your parent if they were visiting? Just leave them with whoever happens to be home?

I'm with you op. Fair enough had he asked you and you were totally on board with it. But that's not the case here.

Lifeisinteresting · 14/07/2025 18:52

@whistlesandbells i don’t think your husband going to the cinema with his son should be an issue at any time of year. I think your expectations here are unrealistic.