Wife work - no thanks

As OP has already said they really like their MIL I can't see why this is an issue, and yes, I would have left my partner with either of my parents for a while - they would probably have had a better time than if I had been there.

Of course, life happens, but this did get me to thinking about how come he appears to be on his second family? No slight at all as I do not know the details, but it might be something you kind of have to teach him OP. Some men are really not very good at relationships!

@whistlesandbells When you say ‘he invited her’, surely as a married couple you’re both inviting her - as a married couple you’re surely inviting his mum to stay with your family?

If she was 55 and fit perhaps she would be off doing her own thing - but she's not - the DM is 85, mobility impaired and has a casted broken wrist and has to have booked assistance to fly and visit. Until she arrives it will be impossible to know how well she can manage
Also OP and her DH are working full time during her stay so they will be leaving her at home alone for 8+ hours . is it too much to ask to spend a little time with the guest in the evening who is making a difficult journey from abroad?

I would be pretty upset if I went to visit a relative, dealt with the horror that is airport assistance - my relatives went to work all day and then had arranged to go out in the evening without me for a cinema trip that could be done when I gone.

He's working full time during her visit so evenings will be the only time he'll see her

He can take his mother with him when he goes out. He invited, he entertains.

Absolutely correct.

it is bloody rude, and I’m with you on the wife work. Well done for pushing back

I don't know what the massive deal is about "day 2." She's there for 2 weeks, 1 evening spent alone isn't going to kill her.

OP could take her 2 yo to bed and then get an early night, ask MIL to babysit her grandchild or book a babysitter for the 2 yo and go out herself, sit quietly in the living room or even just enjoy her MIL's company and enjoy a couple of hours of time with her.

I'm sure MIL does not expect her to provide a live performance with an elaborate dance routine. It's just sitting in the same room as someone you supposedly like and talking with them for a short time.

The OP has never said that.

She has said DH should not go out in the evening on day 2.

She's visiting for 2 weeks and in that time you expect him to stay home and entertain her 24/7? Surely, as an adult woman, she'll want to make some plans of her own? Or even just give her the remote so she can watch TV for a few hours whilst he's out.

You're being silly.

I don’t get it - you say you like your MIL and you say she’s 85.
She wont be here forever - what’s wrong with your DH going to the cinema for 2 hours and you and your MIL staying in and watching television or a movie or something?

Or couldn’t you and MIL got for dinner or a different movie etc?
It’s a couple of hours - it would be a different story if you didn’t get on but you do.
If you’re having her over from abroad, I’m guessing you don’t see her very often. And you have a child who will be seeing their grandma - that’s a lovely thing.

You are right.

I'd never leave my mum who's come to visit to go out and do something that excludes her.

And if I were her I'd feel a bit hurt.

But it sounds like you've been martyring yourself to top-to-bottom the house - if that was us he'd be doing half the preparing to welcome his mum and not wriggle out of the hosting.

Posters being deliberately obtuse and belligerent tonight.

Well done OP, YANBU

Not bizarre at all - the op has done her best to help the visit to run smoothly, but has said no when it comes to the cinema trip which is something she isn't happy with.

Perfectly dealt with, op.

Not relevant. It's on the DH to look after his mother so soon after her arrival.

Isn't she jetlagged? How much entertaining does she need for the few hours he's at the movie?

Round of applause OP, I would have lost my cool already. Imagine hosting an elderly parent from a different country and expecting your partner to host while you go out for the evening without them? Bizarre. Men

Er... I'm not a grandmother, but I should think that if, when I'm in my 80s, I make an effort to travel a long way to stay with my children (presumably it's quite a long distance if she's staying there for 2 weeks), I'd be doing so to spend time with them. Since most adults work all day, the evenings would be the time for seeing them, and I'd be pretty annoyed if they decided to bugger off and do something with someone else, that they could perfectly well do when I'm not there. It's rude.

You do realise there are 50 other weeks in the year he can take his son to the cinema?

He's working...

But even if he wasn't, if you have guests, you don't go and leave them for the evening

Need? Company?

She's come to visit. Why would you just leave her? She might as well have stayed at home!

Well done op, stamp this shit out!

Don’t take it the wrong way, please. I was just curious, maybe it comes from a show that I don’t watch or something.

I loved my MIL and spent many happy days with her when she was alive.

I do think OP’s DH is treating the women in his life a bit casually and taking them for granted. If I flew out to see my mum and she went out to the cinema the night after I arrived I would be a bit surprised. I wouldn’t do it to my mum and she wouldn’t do it to me.

Does he really need to be on top of his mother for the whole 2 weeks and not all9wed to do anything else?