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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to let my MIL bring her own kettle when she visits?

427 replies

BiscuitHammer · 14/07/2025 13:21

Bit of a silly one maybe but it’s causing actual rows so here goes.

MIL is coming to stay for the weekend (joy) and she’s announced she’s bringing her own kettle because apparently ours “tastes funny”. I genuinely don’t know what that even means?? It’s just a normal Breville one from Argos. She says she can “taste the plastic” and it “ruins tea” which is ridiculous because we’ve had it over a year and no one else has ever complained.

I told her she’s being dramatic and she got in a strop. DH is now saying I should just let her bring it to keep the peace but I think it’s rude. Like sorry but turning up at someone’s house with your own appliances is a bit much isn’t it? What next, her own toaster? Portable shower?

I get she’s particular about tea (she only drinks loose leaf and swears PG Tips gives her headaches) but still. We’re not a bloody hotel.

AIBU to put my foot down and tell her to use ours or not bother?

(For context she also once brought her own pillow and sugar. Make of that what you will.)

OP posts:
ConShine · 14/07/2025 15:13

I told her she’s being dramatic and she got in a strop.

I think you're the one being dramatic over something so trivial 🤷‍♂️

Tortielady · 14/07/2025 15:12

As she's generally particular about her tea, I wouldn't give it much thought, tbh. It's all of a piece with loose tea, a nice china pot, (which you pre-warm) sugar tongs and everything else that turns a cup of tea into Tea as a Ritual. However, I'm coming from the perspective of someone who likes my tea so weak you can barely taste the leaf at all. I can't be relied on to make what someone else calls a decent cuppa - your MiL would probably regard me as a heathen 😁

TheLemonLemur · 14/07/2025 15:12

Lots of poater saying "let" her bring the kettle - I'm not sure you could actually stop her? I wouldn't make an issue of it she is particularly about tea its a preference not like she's saying your kitchen too filthy to make tea in or something!

CurlewKate · 14/07/2025 15:12

To be honest, it seems perfectly normal Mumsnet behaviour to me. I mean, there’s a Mumsnetter who says she can’t batch cook because the food tastes of freezer. I can well imagine being able to taste the plastic in a kettle.It really is no big deal.

Barney16 · 14/07/2025 15:12

I take my own pillow places...think a kettle is a bit much. Edited to say I knew someone who took their own mugs with them, to hotels.

Katiesaidthat · 14/07/2025 15:12

TY78910 · 14/07/2025 13:26

Not a hill I’d want to die on either but surely it’s the water that tastes different, not the kettle 😂

She will find out soon enough...

SummerFeverVenice · 14/07/2025 15:09

IkeaMeatballGravy · 14/07/2025 14:40

Absolutely, it has to be Yorkshire tea in this house. When I visit friends though I will drink other tea to be polite, or have an alternative drink. I couldn't be so rude as to tell a friend thier tea is not to my taste, it's just basic manners.

It wouldn't kill OP's MIL to go without her kettle for a weekend for the sake of family harmony.

Edited
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Friends are not family. In my family we will ask the visiting family what they want so we can get in the exact brands and type of tea (and other drinks and food) that they prefer because we want them to feel at home.

JustMyView13 · 14/07/2025 15:09

I don’t think you should have guests if you’re not willing to let them make small changes to make their stay more comfortable. There’s nothing weird about bringing your own pillow.

If she prefers her own kettle, let her live. Who’s it harming!?

queenMab99 · 14/07/2025 15:08

I would let her bring her kettle, she may find it's the water that is different, so next time she comes she will have to bring a large water tank to keep herself supplied with tea 😂

Thefanisonhigh · 14/07/2025 15:08

I’d let this one slide and just accept it

Tiswa · 14/07/2025 15:07

TY78910 · 14/07/2025 13:26

Not a hill I’d want to die on either but surely it’s the water that tastes different, not the kettle 😂

Yep agree it is highly likely to be the water but still a just go with this it doesn’t seem a battle worth fighting

and I can see the pillow!

TheignT · 14/07/2025 15:06

As annoying things visitors can do bringing your own kettle seems rather mild unless you have a tiny kitchen and space for an extra kettle will mean you can't prepare food or drinks.

Blueskiesandrainbows · 14/07/2025 15:05

Are you completely bonkers OP.
Why are you even asking if you’re being unreasonable, leave the poor woman alone, let her bring her kettle and stop being so petty over it.
I take my own pillow everywhere, I don’t want a pillow someone else has drooled on. I’ve also taken my own mug, I like a china mug!
I honestly wonder just what someone will find next to moan about their mother in law, will it be that she uses too many sheets of toilet paper!
Lighten up, make her welcome and her kettle, and give her a lovely stay, you might find it actually makes you feel good.

survivalinsufficient · 14/07/2025 15:04

Both my mother and DH’s mother bring their own pillows to our house, and my mum brings her own coffee. DH takes his pillow to other people’s houses too!

I think this is totally fine tbh, unless rude in other ways it’s not worth getting upset about. I want people to feel comfy visiting my home!

Blisteringlycold · 14/07/2025 15:02

I wouldn't drink tea out of something that has boiled water in plastic. No thanks

Nursejackiethomas · 14/07/2025 15:01

It's likely the water that tastes funny, we use a kettle that has a brita filter incorporated, otherwise tea tastes vile. Have you tried your normal kettle but with filtered water?
Anyway I'd likely let her get on with it, if the tea tastes better with her kettle so what, especially if she loves her tea.

WordsFailMeYetAgain · 14/07/2025 14:59

Just let her bring it and accept that she is quirky.

However, I ALWAYS take my own pillow when staying somewhere in the UK. Can't bear anyone else's pillows!

Mrseasy · 14/07/2025 14:58

What are you losing out on if you let her crack on with her own kettle? Unless you’re looking for an argument?

EmotionalSupportBiscuit · 14/07/2025 14:58

prelovedusername · 14/07/2025 14:50

Oh dear, I do this when I stay at DD’s and it really is just to save her a job (and she’s very grateful!)

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Hee hee! I’m sure you don’t spend the entire time having digs at your DD though, which mine absolutely does (and which I smile through while DH tuts at her…)

CheshireCat1 · 14/07/2025 14:55

If having two kettles in the house is causing arguments, there’s nothing left to say.

Applesonthelawn · 14/07/2025 14:52

Don't sweat the small stuff.

lovealongbath · 14/07/2025 14:51

Choose your battles!

prelovedusername · 14/07/2025 14:50

EmotionalSupportBiscuit · 14/07/2025 14:37

I get it, OP. Mine brings her own bedding. DH says she’s trying to help save us a job stripping the bed after her visit - but I know she thinks I can’t even wash a sheet to her satisfaction 😆

I feel judged. You probably do, too.

Oh dear, I do this when I stay at DD’s and it really is just to save her a job (and she’s very grateful!)

Notchangingnameagain · 14/07/2025 14:48

How exactly can you refuse to let a grown up bring a kettle?

If you did refuse and she did it anyway, what would you do?

You are trying to control another adult over a kettle - madness.

ArtfulPinkBird · 14/07/2025 14:47

Just let her bring the kettle. Yes it's very weird of her, but as others are saying it's not worth the potential fall out.

If it helps, my in-laws have house shoes they bring to ours when they visit and they put them straight on when they come through the door. I am issued with a pair to wear when we visit theirs too!