....to think women find having babies harder now?

This is the paradox imo ..

a lot of kids are hugely pressured academically - to ‘go away to university’ and ‘be independent’ - I bet a lot more kids actually don’t want to than let on .. and then after graduating often move to a different city - often London, but not always - and their parents can feel isolated in later life, while the uni educated kids scramble to build a network in the city they move to while in their 20s/30s etc etc- but people in their networks are also busy with careers and possibly aging parents as they head towards 40 / 50 etc

In terms of getting used to looking after a baby or toddler, I think it’s also that because most families are smaller, there's much less of older sisters (yes, it was always sisters!) taking care of younger siblings, or even simply having younger siblings and observing nappy changes/feeding/weaning etc.

The physical act of giving birth is far less risky, and I don’t have a single Great Grandmother who didn’t lose at least one child before the age of 16 - in some instances it was really very stark - my paternal Great Grandmother lost four children before the age of one.

That said, all my older relatives were part of close knit communities and large families of siblings, aunts, cousins, all of whom lived very close to one another.

I do believe how much you enjoy parenting is largely dependant on your support network. If you have a supportive partner and active grandparents who get involved, it’s a much more pleasurable experience than if you don’t have those things.

You can’t figure out why? Really?
it’s rare a household can survive on one income- so women have to work full time in addition to being pregnant/ raising a child. Most don’t have help from family and friends.
any help/ childcare is extortionate in cost and good childcare is very hard to find. This also often strains the relationship with the husband/partner too bringing in more challenges.
yes, it has gotten a lot harder.

Years ago you tended to live near your family and friends, whereas now people move away and feel isolated.

I think women have always found it very hard, it’s just more visible now because we have platforms like mumsnet to discuss it.

Topics like birth are still very secretive - it was only after I’d had a baby that women I knew (or all ages) started sharing their birth horror stories with me.

Having a baby is a very lonely experience and probably made worse by modern families not living in tight knit communities with extensive support networks. Most women seem to get about a week of their partner at home post birth, after which they are left alone for 10+ hours a day while still recovering from the birth to learn to care for a helpless infant.