Retired in laws won’t come pick up dog before my due date

Poor dog...

keep the dog home. Dont send him away. Its scary when you have a dog and your first baby, but if this is your own dog that youve had for 5 years, then he will already know that something is up.
He will need extra walks and training and a bit of extra fuss.A lot of supervision, but your suggestion of sending him away for a bit, is not a good idea.

People are being unkind, and it’s uncalled for. Yes you’re being unreasonable, but you’re also very pregnant and I for one was also unreasonable when I was expecting my first.

Sounds like you’re getting some good advice about introducing the dog and baby to each other, and your time now might be best spent baby/dog proofing and perhaps training the dog if you’re concerned about its behaviour.

Hope you have a healthy rest of your pregnancy and that the birth goes well x

ps: everyone on Mumsnet has such a stick up their arse!!! But thanks for a sensible reply :)

You're a joy aren't you?

Loopy as fuck and utterly clueless, but sure......criticise us 🤣

Really? My dog goes to an amazing kennel, it’s the absolute best dog care solution we’ve ever had in 30 years of having dogs. She loves it there so much. (as do lots of friends dogs who recommended it.)

(they live up north 4.5 hour drive each way) so want my partner to drive halfway to meet them to drop the dog off but this would be 9 days before my due date - which makes me VERY nervous that DH might be driving on the motorway whilst I might go into labour…
AIBU to be stressed out that DH would be leaving to drive 4 hours away 9 days before my due date?

If your DH is meeting them half way, then he'll be no more than around 2 hours drive away from you, should you feel the need to phone him and tell him to get back home NOW. (Presumably he and the parents can plan so DH isn't driving through rush hour)

Which is a reasonable commute that many DHs to very pregnant wives will be doing 5 days a week

Labours for 1st babies aren't very often like you see in films, there's often no great rush or panic. They start off gently, like cramps, then get stronger over the hours. I knew I was in labour at 7am, waved my DH off to work because he had an important thing to get done that morning and phoned him at lunch to come home. Went to hospital about 4pm. Had the baby 10 hours later.

Congratulations OP 💐

Yanvvvvu. Your poor inlaws and dog. That's a very long journey. They doing you a favour so totally understand why they don't want to do that journey.

I wouldn't have a staffie around babies. They are lovely dogs but very prone to biting, even "lovingly" so. Which can cause irreversible damage to a baby. I would (sadly) rehome the dog to someone with older children (because they are very energetic and love to play).

if your DIL are retired I assume would be very quiet

Seems like they might actually have a life.

Poor in laws and poor dog.
Unnecessary drama here.

The Honest Midwife offers a class called "Barkers & Babies" specifically designed to help families prepare their dogs for the arrival of a new baby. This class, led by an accredited dog trainer, provides tips and advice on introducing new sights, sounds, and smells to the dog, as well as teaching them appropriate behaviors around the baby.

I totally get why it was your first idea as practically it solves the issue of not having to worry about dog and baby straight away.
My only worry would be that if he’s spent that time in another environment which, if your DIL are retired I assume would be very quiet plus he would be getting a lot of attention, may actually in the long term make the issue worse. Agree with pp that if he could stay at home with help from dog walkers etc that would be my personal choice.

I'm in total agreement

when my dd had a baby she had a dog and used the honest midwife dog section talk to find out how to introduce the dog to the baby

it worked well in practice as its the dogs home and the baby was brought home to the dog not the other way around

the second baby the dog knew when I arrived back from the hospital, that there was a new person as he constantly sniffed only my arm i'd held the baby.

If you can bring home something that smells of baby to the house before baby arrives and let the dog smell the item - these things help.

if baby is 4 hours away thats not going to happen though, as taking a scent to another house and letting him smell isn't going to be the same

I’m not sure Mumsnet is going to be for you OP if you behave like this , being rude , accusing all of us of having sticks up our arses. …..

In this case , this is definitely a you problem. Your poor in-laws are doing you a favour and you are throwing a strop.

Do stick around though , you could be one of those posters who always bring hilarity . Then we can reply
YABU
Surely no one is this entitled
I cry reverse

If you are so confident that the dog will be fine with the baby, why are you doing all this?

I think you're making a mistake sending the dog away. He will be super hyped up when he returns. It's better to keep everything as normal, just introduce the baby.
Get help with walks etc.
If you really need to send him, can't you go with?

On a different note, one idea to introduce the baby to the dog is for your husband to bring home a singlet the baby has been wearing in hospital and let dog sniff it, but don’t give it to dog, much like the baby, we will hold them for dog to smell but dog doesn’t get to run off for a chew with baby. He can do this whilst you are in hospital with baby.

What do you mean by ‘nightmare’? If you’re so scared about the dog meeting the baby then it’s probably for the best to find the dog a new home and you should’ve considered this before trying to conceive. Delaying their meeting isn’t going to make things easier.

You don’t think it’s fair for your husband to drive 4 hours, but you think it’s fine for you in laws to drive 9 hours? First babies are usually late too and labour takes several hours.

This isn't a breed thing, to those that are saying my labrador etc. But a staffy is xyz. It's how the dog has been raised and it's temperament.

Well cared for, settled staffys are often called "nanny dogs". There are way more biting incidents with retrievers who are very mouthy.

It just seems mumsnet generally is anti dog and baby, despite dogs up and down the country living completely fine with children and often being assistance dogs. It's a lot of effort for a dog to be a crazed killer dog 🙄 Most just want food and a belly rub. I could almost bet most anti dog children posts don't even have one.

That aside, I think that you would be best of paying for a dog behaviorist to discuss and watch your dog at home. I really think it's a bad idea sending a loyal pack member away that long. As many have said, most of the time they sniff as you introduce in the car seat, show a little more inquistiveness. Then as long as you keep their routines as it was before they really don't care. And sense that it's the pack member who they have smelt in you for 9 months plus!

It’s irrelevant that they are retired. It’s more straining to drive those kind of distances as you get older so I think you are being entirely too precious about wanting them to do a 9 hour round trip

keep the dog at home and get a sitter

Silly sarcastic woman. Your replies to people are pathetic. Grow up princess!!

There is no way I would drive into London end of.

You are being entitled and lacking in compassion to expect them to do this

Find your grace and stop being a Princess

It’s not hard, just do pretty much the same thing you would with a toddler and new baby! No one ships a toddler off for a few weeks, and I’ve never heard of anyone shipping a dog off. One dog and a baby is more than doable. You aren’t having octuplets or running a boarding kennel for dogs, just one baby, one dog🤷‍♀️.

Again, just pretty much the same steps you’d take when bringing g baby home to their toddler sibling. If you have a c-section, then hire a dog walker for a several weeks once DH returns to work, he can walk it when home surely? If you don’t have a C-section, you walking it would be the best thing, gets you out of the house, into fresh air and a nice break from a baby stuck on your boob as some ‘me time’. Just do it immediately after a feed.

They are doing you a favour so it should work when they want it too

Agree.