Retired in laws won’t come pick up dog before my due date

I understand why you’re considering this but I think you’re just delaying the inevitable and possibly unsettling your dog. We brought a newborn home to two excitable staffies and there was no issue with the baby. We sent something home for them to smell with baby’s scent on it and tried to continue to make a fuss of them while closely managing all interactions. The dogs were more interested in us than the baby. They liked to be near her but figured quickly she wasn’t going to give them any attention or play with them. I would say I was a bit demented at home breastfeeding a newborn (often stuck on the couch) and trying to manage the dogs. We already had a dog walker and we doubled the walks for 3 months so that I could get more peace during the day, which worked well. A dog walker to tire the dog out might work well for you.

I had 2 dogs when I had my first child. Never thought of sending them anywhere, other than to my parents the day I went into labour (appreciate yours are further away so you can’t call them to do this).
Do you have someone that can look after your dog for the time you’re in hospital?

I’d also book for a dog walker for the first few weeks if you can.
Buy baby gates (usually for sale on marketplace quite cheaply) to separate you and the dog so you can introduce slowly. Buy the dog some new chew toys, a kong, snuffle mat to occupy him
He will adjust as will you all to a new baby.

Try reading the OP's snarky responses.

You are being very unreasonable. The thought wouldn’t have entered my head to part with our dog and 3 cats when DS1 was born, we are a family, pets included. Just something you need to do. Tbh I wonder if the in-law disagree with the idea and that’s why they are unwilling to support you on this, I don’t blame them at all. What will you do if baby number 2 arrives, send your toddler to the GP. I think you are overthinking things and once baby arrives everything will settle very quickly and you will wonder why you worried so much. Good luck.

Why are some many first time parents so dramatic. Give your head a wobble.

Rehome I'm afraid. Never a popular opinion on MN, but safety first. I love dogs, I am sat with 5 now, but I just would not have a staffy with a baby.

Sending your dog away for the first couple of weeks is a really bad idea. You're setting yourself up for problems going forward.

You said you're not sure what other people do so here's what worked for my family:

-working with a dog trainer for advice (my dog is small and calm, I'd 100% prioritise this with an excitable staffy)

-putting baby gates up a long time before I gave birth and getting my dog really comfortable with being put in another room. This meant that I could easily separate the dog from the baby when needed (positive reinforcement with treats and a cosy place to relax helped).

-playing recordings of babies crying, starting quietly and increasing in volume as the dog became comfortable with the noise.

-putting things like the bouncer, changing caddy, and a couple of toys out long before the baby arrived. This meant they weren't novelties when the baby was born and our dog had already been trained to leave them alone. We also took him on a few pram walks without a baby to get him used to walking alongside it.

-DH took a blanket that smelled of the baby home for the dog to sniff before we came home

-making sure the dog still had enough attention and all his needs met

Good luck with everything OP. Having a dog and baby can be hard work, but it's fine as long as you put the work in.

Keep the dog in its own home. It will be fine.

100% agree, the dog might find it more difficult coming back after a couple of weeks and finding a new addition usurping them when they are used to lots of attention.
Imo, and everyone thinks differently before someone pounces, I wouldn't send the dog away, it could give the wrong message to the dog possibly leading to resentment or jealousy.

You’re forgetting that 4.5h each way is 9h in total. You can’t expect someone to do you a favour and then also break their backs in doing so.

send DH on his own to drop the dog off? Why do you need to be in the car? 😅

This is good advice

Unless you’ve felt any twinges I really wouldn’t worry. First time labour generally takes ages and 9 days is a fair way off.

ps: everyone on Mumsnet has such a stick up their arse!!! But thanks for a sensible reply :)

yeah, OP, everyone is wrong and you are right. I wonder why you came to us with this "problem" - just to have your idea confirmed and for us to all say how awful your in-laws are? or combined hundreds of babies worth of experience saying "keep the dog with you" or "don't be daft" or "that's a long way to drive, meet half way or take the dog"

@Oli16 I don't understand why a dog you have loved for good few years should be removed from their home whilst you give birth. It's so important to keep everything as normal as possible, which includes treating your as you usually would. The dog will be aware something is going on, and sending them away is cruel. It's best your dog is there to meet the baby when you come home with them, then slow introductions can take place.
If you send the dog away then they come back you have a wriggly screeching thing in its place the poor dog won't have a clue what's going on.
During both my pregnancies my dogs stayed at home, with someone walking and feeding them, first dog was a rottweiler and second time it was a boxer.
I never had a single issue, but obviously didn't leave the baby alone with them.
I think you are being extremely unreasonable and could cause issues further down the line. Your dog has been family for 5 years, let them be there when you bring the newest family member home!

Maybe look at the insults she posts when people don't agree with her.

So the in laws look after it for how long? 2 years? 5 years? Forever?

I could tell from the first post that this is a woman feeling a bit nervous and unsure. What's with all the snarkiness?

I look after dogs for a living. No way on earth would I be having a staffy in the house with a baby. Far too risky. I would not have trusted my husky with a baby either. Strong prey drive. Just don't chance it.

misses point of thread

Retired people tend to be older and tireder, OP, hence why they have retired. Being retired doesn't mean having the same amount of energy and clear-headedness but more free time than younger people. Meeting DH with the dog halfway is still a generous offer, but surely there's a better option than sending the dog away at this point. Maybe a paid dog walker locally and/or a friendly neighbour who would do a bit of doggie day care would work better.

@Oli16 They are very nice to mind the dog and even drive 2.5h each way to meet your husband halfway. You are lucky with in laws who are helpful and probably should learn to be more grateful. Your initial post did not sound very nice at all.
lots of people have dogs and then had babies, I kept mine around and introduced them on day 1

ps: everyone on Mumsnet has such a stick up their arse!!! But thanks for a sensible reply :)

You sound delightful.

Driving into London is a mission, meeting halfway seems reasonable - but I'd keep the dog at home and introduce from day one. I'd worry the dog would see the baby as an intruder otherwise.

I wish my parents were still alive to ask - my brother was born when I was almost 9 and we had a 6 year old Boxer dog. I can't remember what was done to introduce my baby brother to the dog but I know there were no issues, he loved my brother as much as he loved me and our elder brother and the 'baby' got his own Boxer dog as soon as he moved into his own home!

Just thinking about timing, you say they are having dog for the first couple of weeks but are sending him 9 days before you are due and first babies are often late so how long do you realistically think he will be away? If you first baby has similar timing to mine it will be over a month which is a long time.

You’re expecting them to drive for NINE hours to pick up YOUR dog which they have kindly agreed to dog sit for you (for a pretty long time at that). And then what, they have to drive for nine hours again to drop it back off afterwards?

No. This is not normal. If someone is looking after your animal for you, you take it to them. They are already doing to a huge favour and saving you the cost of putting the dog in kennels.