To think therapy culture is creating narcissists?

Therapy culture - sure. I think that is a thing distinct from actual therapy. It is the magazines saying "is your mother a narcissist, take this quiz" and Oprah interviews, and all that.

Therapy itself should not be like that, but I think there are quite a lot of bad therapists.

I also think that even at the best of times, therapy is limited. Because a therapist can't impose anything on the patient, they help the patient in a sense on his or her own terms. but for some people that will not be enough. It's like when Tony Soprano went to therapy, it was never going to make him a better person.

I also think that therapy can't really help much with problems of meaning, which I think of as spiritual sickness, but whatever you call it, therapy can't give it to you.

I think in a way trying to use therapy for things that it isn't suited for is a symptom of a culture that is missing something important, and that produces narcissists.

It's always been a very American thing, with the rise of social media it's turning global.

I'm my experience, those with genuine mental health illness don't inflict others with their issues. They tend to beat themselves up instead. Yes they have 'introspection' constantly going on in their heads, but it's not narcissism.

I can't bear the "I say it how it is because that's how I am" saying.

These are the very people who have zero patience when others say anything slightly offensive to them.

I don't think it creates narcissist but I do think it can give a narcissist a socially acceptable reason for their behaviour.
I had a family member tell me they had an affair because I had a child with a chronic illness.
He absolutely believes that is the reason.

I disagree. Good therapy does promote the kind of self growth that you’re talking about.

I think the problem is that a lot of people can’t access the therapy they need. So they maybe have a couple of sessions and cherry-pick a few You Tube videos and get stuck in an echo chamber. Without the guidance people will often take too narrow an interpretation of their problems where they aren’t seeing the role that they are playing in it.

I am totally irritated by people over pathologising everything and throwing labels all over the show on social media too. But that is not what a good therapeutic relationship usually leads to.

This. (Disclaimer- I am a therapist)

In fact, its important for me to see how my client fits into their social network.

And I've never even used the term narcissist, tbh. Maybe you mean social media rather than actual therapy?

There’s a bit of a no true Scotsman thing with therapy though; it works, if it doesn’t, it isn’t very good therapy.

Cane on to say this too

Absolutely. A lot of the advice is impractical and doesn't put a spotlight on your own shortcomings.

Therapists love to use the term narcissist and it does my nut in, at first you think it's some sort of clever revelation. It's thrown at anyone and everyone except the subject themselves and before they know it they're even calling their own 6 year old son narcissistic.

I suspect narcissism is everywhere and we're all a bit more narcissistic than we think.

Therapy needs to get people to accept each other more, not be the victim and consider their own actions and responsibilities. Be practical and commonsense about relationships and people's limitations.

I know what you mean (I think) but wouldn't pin this on therapy exactly. It seems to me to be more the way everything has gone in this country. It runs through the workplaces, schools, universities, social media and everything else, Personal responsibility is now unfashionable, viewed as a bad thing in some scenarios. Whereas blaming other things, be that trauma, one's parents/upbringing, a diagnosis, is now positively encouraged. I feel I fell into that trap in my late twenties and early thirties to an extent but I now have the opinion that we all have to draw a line and realise we are responsible for ourselves as adults. Therapy has a place but definitely encourages the sort of thing you're posting about, and can be a weapon for certain types of people.

Problem is, the very nature of therapy is analytical and involves looking inwards, so as much as you might say it doesn’t, it does.

Far too many people with ordinary life issues throwing around language like toxic, boundaries, gaslighting and DARVO

this - and it’s annoying. No more can someone say ‘MIL keeps coming around without phoning or messaging first and it’s really annoying.’ Now it’s ’MIL will not respect my boundaries.’ And everyone is a narcissist.

I agree

But every time someone starts a thread like this, it gets deleted.

Then you'll get lots of people coming along saying if therapy hasn't worked for someone, they need more therapy!

No, I see stressed and traumatised young people, whose coping strategies aren't up to scratch.

My narcissistic parent hasn’t had any therapy. Why would she? There’s nothing wrong with her 🤣

I agree. I think so many people think with the mentality of ‘hurt people hurt people’ when it shouldn’t be that way. People need to learn to be accountable for their actions instead of being coddled into believing that their actions are a result of them being a ‘victim’. My ex is like that, he abused me but he went to therapy and apparently the therapist told him that he’s not at fault because him being an addict and his childhood trauma caused him to behave that way. I have lifelong trauma because of him including the fact that I have severe ptsd and anxiety and I push away any relationships I have with people - but hey he’s a victim so that’s ok.

With varying degrees of success. Experience in applying the behavioural policy whilst having an eye experienced enough to see which behaviours are voluntary and which are not is a big help.

I agree, not specifically with your points, but with the overall topic. Far too many people with ordinary life issues throwing around language like toxic, boundaries, gaslighting and DARVO. Also using the term mental health as a catch-all for poor mental health. Not to mention, totally cringeworthy phrasing like 'love language'.

I'm afraid when that stuff starts being thrown around I just switch off. Go 0 to 100 with the self-obsession all you like but don't expect me to join in. I'm not your therapist. Not to mention, 95% of people in therapy probably don't really need to be there.

Decent therapy does not promote this

How do you deal with it at work?

This mentality is everywhere. See it a lot in SEN children at work. "I cannot help my behaviour, it's just who I am."

Sorry, the world won't bend for you once you are out of here... The effort to be the best you can be will gain a lot more favour then that growth avoidance. Let us help you, but you have to make the best of this.

Agree. Way too much naval gazing.

Completely agree