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Original poster

Feel uneasy with my partner’s suggestions on splitting food/toiletries costs

334 replies

Amber991 · 13/07/2025 20:08

Hi all, I am looking for some second opinions. I moved in with my partner a few months ago. All has been going well, but recently he has started saying we should have a fairer split of our food and toiletries bill, which we usually halve.

Every time we do our main weekly shop, he now goes item by item with the receipt and splits this out. But it goes to the length of him even taking into account if I have leftovers for lunch the next day, and putting a weighting towards this so I pay more. If he thinks I’ll have an extra pack of crisps from a multi pack, he will weight that.

I have a recent stomach issue which I’m seeing my Doctor about which means I’ve been going to the loo more than usual and have been really uncomfortable. So when he went through the receipt yesterday and there was loo roll, I had to pay more on the basis I’ve been using more.

I find this really OTT! Does anyone do similar in terms of the split or do you agree it’s strange?

OP posts:
MrsVino · 13/07/2025 21:46

TowerRavenSeven · 13/07/2025 20:10

Run. If you ever marry he’s going to count the peas you eat.

Yep. Fucking run and don’t look back

VictoriaEra2 · 13/07/2025 21:46

His behaviour is awful. Im
so sorry.

tara66 · 13/07/2025 21:45

Hope you have broken up by now! What a plonker!

SaintGermain · 13/07/2025 21:40

If you were a big fat pig buying multi packs of chocolate bars and stuffing your face with them then he would have a point if he was eating normally.

But he is way over the top and I could not put up with such awfulness.

Bin him.

Keepingoin · 13/07/2025 21:40

As always I give my opinion without reading responses.

My response to this is why are you with this man. As far as I'm concerned he'd be history but to be fair this is my view according to your first post OP.

aWeeCornishPastie · 13/07/2025 21:38

what the hell have I just read! How long did u know him for before moving in together ?

FairFuming · 13/07/2025 21:37

Weird and horribly controlling behaviour. Id not want to live like that

Momstermash94 · 13/07/2025 21:37

OP this is ridiculous and bizarre, we split everything 50/50 in our house. The only time that differs is if my partner buys a box of beers (I don't drink) then he pays for those himself and the rest of the receipt is split equally. Small treats we want and throw in the basket like a chocolate bar or pack of sweets just get thrown in with the general receipt and isnt even questioned, we don't nit pick the receipt item by item. I'd feel like I am walking on eggshells if I wanted second helpings of dinner, a packet of crisps or an extra slice of toast living like how your partner wants to be, and that's not what your home should feel like. I'd put an end to his suggestions completely and immediately before it escalates. He is treating you like a random roommate in a uni accommodation, not a partner...

madroid · 13/07/2025 21:36

GET RID QUICK

Blueskiesandrainbows · 13/07/2025 21:34

I often think I’ve read it all on here, but being charged for using extra toilet paper!!
It’s crazy, controlling, stingy, madness, I’d run a mile as fast as you can OP

Lavatime · 13/07/2025 21:32

Jesus most people are more generous to complete strangers than your partner is to you! What a weird man.

Busybeemumm · 13/07/2025 21:32

IveGotAnUnusuallyLargePelvisISwear · 13/07/2025 20:29

Also regarding the loo roll business the childish part of my brain wanted to argue that actually he should pay more for bog roll because he uses more of it because he’s clearly a wanker.

Bring back the laughing emoji. Love it😂. Seriously OP at least he showed you who he is early-ish on. Don't waste any more time on this man and run far and fast. Not sure if want kids or not but get back out there asap and leave this loser. Who counts toilet rolls and packets of crisps eaten?! Was he like this when you were dating? Or suddenly switched since moving in. The red flags must have been there.

I'm all for paying your own way, but he is being completely ridiculous. Tell your family and friends irl and see what they say!

Saltandpeppersquid · 13/07/2025 21:31

Meanness is so unattractive and I just could not be with a man like this under any circumstances.

OnTheBoardwalk · 13/07/2025 21:31

I remember being at a work friends house and her making us a drink of orange. Her husband came in and started having a go at her for wasting the cordial by putting too much in the glasses. Maybe she was splashing out a millimetre or two having a guest round

I tried telling her this wasn’t normal behaviour but she wasn’t having any of it. Please din't be this poor woman in your own house

Ooodelally · 13/07/2025 21:31

What has happened to you that you are even entertaining this? Hard, hard no. This is appalling behaviour from him.

YourDandyPlumBeaker · 13/07/2025 21:30

He's completely insane, and will make your life hellish. At some point in the future you will realise that you're living in an absolutely intolerable situation, so you might as well split up now.

pppaper · 13/07/2025 21:30

RUN

hattie43 · 13/07/2025 21:30

It’s hard to believe tbh . No way would I live like
that .

PillowFlipper · 13/07/2025 21:29

Amber991 · 13/07/2025 20:08

Hi all, I am looking for some second opinions. I moved in with my partner a few months ago. All has been going well, but recently he has started saying we should have a fairer split of our food and toiletries bill, which we usually halve.

Every time we do our main weekly shop, he now goes item by item with the receipt and splits this out. But it goes to the length of him even taking into account if I have leftovers for lunch the next day, and putting a weighting towards this so I pay more. If he thinks I’ll have an extra pack of crisps from a multi pack, he will weight that.

I have a recent stomach issue which I’m seeing my Doctor about which means I’ve been going to the loo more than usual and have been really uncomfortable. So when he went through the receipt yesterday and there was loo roll, I had to pay more on the basis I’ve been using more.

I find this really OTT! Does anyone do similar in terms of the split or do you agree it’s strange?

Throw this one back. He's not a keeper.

Kettlemetal · 13/07/2025 21:28

Totally agree with al those who are saying you need to leave this relationship now.

But also, have you not questioned this yourself OP at the time he says it? How is your reaction not just immediately WTF and tell him he’s being a nasty controlling right fisted twat? I’m genuinely a bit worried you have to even ask about this behaviour and appear to have accepted it up until now.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 13/07/2025 21:27

He’s stingy as hell. And he won’t change. Run!

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 13/07/2025 21:27

If this is new, does he think you're wasteful?

The good thing is you've asked early on in the relationship as opposed to 20 years, unmarried with kids.

Have a chat with him and make sure you're aligned financially.

What happens when you have kids, on maternity leave, holidays etc?

Does he treat you to dinners, gifts or such?

How long have you been together before moving in?

AlphaApple · 13/07/2025 21:27

This is no way to live! How can you even imagine that you have a future with this weirdo?

GoldPoster · 13/07/2025 21:26

I suggest you move out. This is completely mad!

dawngreen · 13/07/2025 21:25

Run for the hills!! I would be so tempted to decorate his front door with all the loo rolls.