Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feel uneasy with my partner’s suggestions on splitting food/toiletries costs

334 replies

Amber991 · 13/07/2025 20:08

Hi all, I am looking for some second opinions. I moved in with my partner a few months ago. All has been going well, but recently he has started saying we should have a fairer split of our food and toiletries bill, which we usually halve.

Every time we do our main weekly shop, he now goes item by item with the receipt and splits this out. But it goes to the length of him even taking into account if I have leftovers for lunch the next day, and putting a weighting towards this so I pay more. If he thinks I’ll have an extra pack of crisps from a multi pack, he will weight that.

I have a recent stomach issue which I’m seeing my Doctor about which means I’ve been going to the loo more than usual and have been really uncomfortable. So when he went through the receipt yesterday and there was loo roll, I had to pay more on the basis I’ve been using more.

I find this really OTT! Does anyone do similar in terms of the split or do you agree it’s strange?

OP posts:
Vaxtable · 13/07/2025 20:12

I would be moving back out, pronto

Laura95167 · 13/07/2025 20:11

Amber991 · 13/07/2025 20:08

Hi all, I am looking for some second opinions. I moved in with my partner a few months ago. All has been going well, but recently he has started saying we should have a fairer split of our food and toiletries bill, which we usually halve.

Every time we do our main weekly shop, he now goes item by item with the receipt and splits this out. But it goes to the length of him even taking into account if I have leftovers for lunch the next day, and putting a weighting towards this so I pay more. If he thinks I’ll have an extra pack of crisps from a multi pack, he will weight that.

I have a recent stomach issue which I’m seeing my Doctor about which means I’ve been going to the loo more than usual and have been really uncomfortable. So when he went through the receipt yesterday and there was loo roll, I had to pay more on the basis I’ve been using more.

I find this really OTT! Does anyone do similar in terms of the split or do you agree it’s strange?

Fully nutty. Like say its true you used more loo roll does he begrudge you a clean bum?

I dont think money is the issue. Tbh thos level of tightness would make me rethink the relationship its controlling and odd

BCBird · 13/07/2025 20:11

I was never even likes that when a student. I was the poorest outbof all of us. This would give me the ick

Givenupshopping · 13/07/2025 20:11

OMG! Get rid of this one OP! It will only get worse! No one who loves you will quibble about you using more toilet roll when you have an upset stomach!! What a tight arse he is!

TheCoolFawn · 13/07/2025 20:11

This sounds really controlling. I’m sorry but I could not live my life like this.

Amber991 · 13/07/2025 20:11

MamaSleep · 13/07/2025 20:09

Is money an issue? Sounds v controlling and tight and definitely not a ‘partnership’

No, he earns well (I do too but less than him) but struggles with spending and prefers to save

OP posts:
AlloaintheMiddle · 13/07/2025 20:11

OMG Toilet paper counting?! How humiliating. 😱
Probably time to reconsider the relationship.

TowerRavenSeven · 13/07/2025 20:10

Run. If you ever marry he’s going to count the peas you eat.

MamaSleep · 13/07/2025 20:09

Is money an issue? Sounds v controlling and tight and definitely not a ‘partnership’

Swipe left for the next trending thread