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Original poster

Feel uneasy with my partner’s suggestions on splitting food/toiletries costs

334 replies

Amber991 · 13/07/2025 20:08

Hi all, I am looking for some second opinions. I moved in with my partner a few months ago. All has been going well, but recently he has started saying we should have a fairer split of our food and toiletries bill, which we usually halve.

Every time we do our main weekly shop, he now goes item by item with the receipt and splits this out. But it goes to the length of him even taking into account if I have leftovers for lunch the next day, and putting a weighting towards this so I pay more. If he thinks I’ll have an extra pack of crisps from a multi pack, he will weight that.

I have a recent stomach issue which I’m seeing my Doctor about which means I’ve been going to the loo more than usual and have been really uncomfortable. So when he went through the receipt yesterday and there was loo roll, I had to pay more on the basis I’ve been using more.

I find this really OTT! Does anyone do similar in terms of the split or do you agree it’s strange?

OP posts:
Kelticgold · 13/07/2025 21:07

I wouldn’t be surprised if your stomach issues come from the stress caused by living with this controlling man.

autumn1610 · 13/07/2025 21:07

Have it out with him it’s weird and controlling and I wouldn’t put up with it. If he doesn’t change run far away! Me and my ex didn’t share money but we would alternate weeks. Sometimes you got a cheap week and sometimes you didn’t! Unless one of us was wanting something over and above …ie he was bulking at the gym and eating loads of chicken it landed how it landed

Tiredandtiredagain · 13/07/2025 21:06

whitewineandsun · 13/07/2025 20:57

He's basically counting the sheets of loo roll.

My attraction to him would be gone instantly. How fucking idiotic.

And mine in washing powder, his jeans are deffo bigger than mine!

Seriously OP…. run!

Thewalrusandthecarpenter · 13/07/2025 21:05

I had an ex exactly like this!! I also paid half of my engagement ring. He headed for the hills when I became pregnant, and I suspect that cost was one of his chief motivating factors. He ensured that he didn’t set foot in the country my daughter and I moved back to (eventually - after some years of being uninvolved) so he wasn’t liable for maintenance. She’ll be 28 this year and wouldn’t know him from Adam.

As others have said, run!

HalfMumHalfBiccit · 13/07/2025 21:05

Unbelievable behaviour. Either it’s a ‘partnership’ and you split 5050 or it’s not. He’s being incredibly petty. Toilet roll ffs.

Bookcovermisleading · 13/07/2025 21:05

How unattractive and controlling…I couldn’t live like this !

Velmy · 13/07/2025 21:03

What an absolute freak. Where are MN users finding these people?

Beachtastic · 13/07/2025 21:02

He's a nut job, OP. Such a shame, but good job you found out now before you waste any more time trying to make sense of him.

Don't wait until he is visibly counting the crisps as you eat each one!

limescale · 13/07/2025 21:02

Does he not eat more than you overall, what with being a man and all?
And how does he know that even with your stomach issues you’re using more loo roll?

godmum56 · 13/07/2025 21:01

QuickFawn · 13/07/2025 20:15

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

this

BlueberryFlapjack · 13/07/2025 20:59

You need to put a stop to this, or end the relationship. It’s no way to live.

From a purely logical point of view, doesn’t he eat more than you anyway? I live with essentially three men (DH plus two teenagers) and I reckon they eat about 30% more than me at every meal… and I have a healthy appetite.

Anywherebuthere · 13/07/2025 20:58

Can you really live life like this? With someone who keeps a close eye and holds you accountable for every item, gram, packet, product etc of anything that you use?

Its's worrying and controlling. It can only get worse.

Yolo12345 · 13/07/2025 20:58

Move out and tell him why - up to him if he wants to change but I wouldn’t put up with that

whitewineandsun · 13/07/2025 20:57

TheAutumnCrow · 13/07/2025 20:54

I’ve literally never heard of a man ever doing this and still getting laid.

Exactly! How?

Canonlythinkofthisone · 13/07/2025 20:57

Got me thinking here...

I reckon my DH owes me a fortune in toilet rolls...

whitewineandsun · 13/07/2025 20:57

He's basically counting the sheets of loo roll.

My attraction to him would be gone instantly. How fucking idiotic.

Boiledbeetle · 13/07/2025 20:56

Do not procreate with this Man

Get out now.

It will only get worse.

GonnaeNoDaeThatJustGonnaeNo · 13/07/2025 20:55

I couldn’t live like that.

PithyTaupeWriter · 13/07/2025 20:55

TheAutumnCrow · 13/07/2025 20:54

I’ve literally never heard of a man ever doing this and still getting laid.

This is it, why do so many horrible men still manage to get laid? Women, I beg of you, stop rewarding terrible men with sex!

2chocolateoranges · 13/07/2025 20:54

Run for the hills, this is NOT normal behaviour!

PithyTaupeWriter · 13/07/2025 20:54

Oh wow! This is unhinged behaviour. Do not have kids with this man and certainly do not make yourself financially dependent on him. Imagine being on maternity leave, he’ll make
you beg for money for food. Get out while you can.

TheAutumnCrow · 13/07/2025 20:54

I’ve literally never heard of a man ever doing this and still getting laid.

Cucy · 13/07/2025 20:53

This would be a deal breaker and id move out.

If he’s like this already, I dread to think what he’d be like in 6+ months time.

Iloveeverycat · 13/07/2025 20:52

Tell him how stupid he is being and you are not doing it. Is he controlling in any other way.

Yachties · 13/07/2025 20:49

Leave now. That’s not a partner that’s a limited company