To think DH is losing the plot re: DS’s new girlfriend??

I’m not repeating myself. Feel free to read (and reread) my responses to PP. Or not.

Pleeeease can you stop goading the other poster on this thread now, you're interrupting the flow of me reading responses with so much daft non-issue posts.

If there entire circle of friends and family are white then no, she very well wouldn’t have noticed. A lot of racist people don’t exclaim it out loud and don’t show much of it when they onto encounter people of colour during shopping/out and about/work related. But when they have one suddenly in their home and dating a family member, that’s different and their attitude can’t be hidden.

Literally nothing about that indicates that she’s low income or not middle class. Just that she’s mixed race. Read it as many times as you required until you grasp that.

You're probably just gonna 'call me out' as racist too now, which I'm not, but it's weird that you can't see how this sentence reads like OP is presenting 'She' and one thing and 'we' as another:

She’s mixed race and we are very white middle class suburbia

That may not be the dominant reading for all but it's not a reach for PP to read that as 'she 'being the opposite of 'we' i.e. not middle class nor suburban as well as not 'very white'. Esp as the point the OP is making in that whole paragraph is that DH is reacting to her background that may have triggered unconscious bias. OP isn't including 'She' in the 'we', so it's reasonable to assume she's presenting the ways they are different. All of which to say, I think there's misunderstandings between you and PP but I don't think that makes them the racist one here - that would be the OP's DH and that should be the focus really. So I'll shut up now.

There is seriously something wrong with you.

Says the racist to the Black person who just called out their racism. Hmm.

I’m fairly confident that my day will continue to be pretty good. Let’s see how yours goes.

He means non-white. He’s done the digging because he’s a racist who believes that people who are not white are inherently criminal. OP hasn’t given any details about the girl’s ethnic mix, but I’ll bet the house she’s white / Black Caribbean rather than white/ Black African, white/Asian or white/SE Asian. This is why he told OP she was being “naive”. What a c* he is.

This is beyond weird. Please keep us updated!

I reckon it's racism, classism, or he knows the mum from somewhere.

There is seriously something wrong with you.
Hope you have a shit day today.

He sounds an absolute lunatic!

I can’t think he found all that out about the Mum on the spur of the moment either. Perhaps he knows the Mum?

Absolutely bonkers and very sinister. I would be on my guard as you are OP, and preparing to tell all to DS and the girl’s family/ leave him.

It’s either racist or something equally sinister like he fancies this young girl or has had an affair with her Mum or something.

but if the children are around the same age it might not have been before they met.....

I wonder if it's her. mum he already knows...?

He is planting seeds. There will be a 'Ta Da! Told you!' moment in the near future. It will be something trivial that he will try to amplify in order to perpetuate and justify this sinister and disgusting behaviour.

None of us know what his issue is - we can only speculate. But it isn't a 'hunch', it's personal.

That’s probably best. Have the day you deserve. 😊

I’m Black, so it seems unlikely he’d want me on his team.

Although, as I have the temerity to be Black AND not be from a low income background, it’s possible your head may implode. My apologies.

"It’s great that you find your racism hilarious, though."
No, I found your response hilarious.
I will not be responding to your paranoid posts again.

Nobody is assuming anything. They are offering up possible reasons for his lunacy. You just automatically assumed she was poor.

It’s great that you find your racism hilarious, though. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

It is hilarious that you're calling me racist for assuming this girl is working class because she is mixed race, yet there are pages of poster's assuming she is an on camera prostitute but that is fine.
There is nothing wrong with being WC.
I'm working class.

If you asked me to guess I would say racism is the most likely explanation. If he had been in any kind of relationship with the mum (or aunt or other relative) and it was before you met, I think he would be more forthcoming. Or if say he had crossed swords with one of her parents.

I'd sympathise if he thought there should be more time before staying overnight, but I don't think that is the reason.

I think you should team up with OP's DH, grab yourself a coffee too.

The PI stuff is a red herring. There's no way he was intending to do this, he would simply reveal any information he has (Ta da!) as coming from a PI, therefore not implicating himself.
I do think this is rooted in racism and the Facebook stalking etc is him looking for anything to back up his racist views.

OP, hire a PI to investigate your husband. You need to know the truth and he is clearly hiding something. I would also check your son's room, at least, for any recording devices. Awful.

Are you going to elaborate more on "He said something about “certain types of people” all knowing each other. That was the moment I lost it."
You clearly know what his comment was aiming? Please share?? Is your DH a racist?

So people assume she is an on camera prostitute or porn actress, terrible.

She most likely isn’t, but could look like someone he’s seen online.

My error doesn't make me a racist. OP mentioned White/MC. I made an error assuming her descriptions were the opposite of this girl. Class and colour, as OP mentioned.
That doesn't excuse you calling me a racist.
Your post undermines racism.