Dd(10) uninvited from party

I don't think anyone would invite the bully. No way. But DD could do something fun (theme park?) with three or four of the girls.

Its the small class number that is problematic.

And you ARE going high by not having it on the same day as the other party and stealing all the girls from hers to yours!
Having the party this weekend is a fair thing to do. No one is missing out on anything, just
2 non friends not inviting each other to thier parties…. Nothing wrong in that.

I doubt this mother will message you, she’d had brass balls if she does… but If she does I wouldn’t respond with a similar thing to she wrote because that would look like the whole party was revenge… instead I’d respond with something like… Oh Sally really wanted to celebrate the end of juniors with her friends, She was thrilled to be doing that at Ruby’s party, but As things changed we decided to throw her her own celebration.

Sooo you’re having a party this weekend… IF your daughter hadn’t been uninvited from bullies party she would have had
time with her friends celebrating the end of juniors - however she WAS uninvited so now doesn’t get to celebrate with her friends… so to fix that @freddiewini has organised her a party so that once again she CAN celebrate with her friends. Bully isn’t being invited because she is no longer op’s daughters friend… I don’t agree with anyone saying bully should be invited… what if she comes and ruins the party deliberately?!…. Also home is our safe place…. Why would OP insist this horrible boy obsessed girl is invited into her daughters safe space?!
Well done OP - you’ve taught your daughter that you’ve got her back!…. You’re teaching her that if you bully someone by excluding them then you’ll also be excluded… and that possibly other kids will decide not to come because she’s a bully - hopefully your Dd & her best friend will do something together the night of the party too.. and hopefully BF’s mother will text the other mum saying her DD won’t be going now because it’s unfair to exclude your daughter so she’s going for a Nando’s with her instead!!
I hope this other girl realises her behaviour has been shitty.. doubt though. Expect she’ll make your DD’s life hell at seniors!! I’d email the seniors and try to get them kept apart

I would definitely throw the party but let your dd decide whether she wants to invite the other girl or not.

tell her you’re happy either way.

Can you answer @freddiewini 's question before you leave?

In THIS situation, how should she "go high"? Invite the bully? Not have a party?
What?

I think this “go high” nonsense is the new virtue signalling. It used to be a thing on here someone would post about a rude weirdo being awful and posters would fall over themselves to berate the op for not giving the offender kindness understanding or the keys to their car etc as the offender might be sad etc. it was a really odd phenomenon.

Blimey OP, there are some absolute fruitloops on this thread.

I’m with you 100%. Your DD thought she was going to a party. Then she wasn’t, through no fault of her own. So you’re organising one for her, which is what any caring parent would do if they had the means to do so.

I hope your DD has an absolutely brilliant time at her party.

Do the pool party, not the same day/clash day but as close to the end of term as possible (day before the final day seems good).

Last day itself when your daughter is excluded, I'd offer to see if best friend would spend the afternoon with your daughter out for a treat (or 2 besties?, only if they choose/would prefer), so gives your daughter something nice to go to without poaching whole party.
I also disagree with the posters saying you should invite the mean girl into your daughter's home.

Op, unfortunately you're never going to change the views of the naysayers who expect you to invite the bully to your daughters
party, urging you to take the high road, ie:"be kind". I wholeheartedly agree with your plan and you're correct in eaving the girl out because she's a horrible bully. Concentrate on your party and I hope dd has a fantastic day. They will talk about it at the other party too so bully and bully's mum will know that she missed out. Good.

Do it OP.

Whats this "high road" and "go high" wet-wipery going to achieve apart from zero repercussions for bullies and an honorary sainthood from "Michelle Obama"?
Your DD feeling morally superior while shes at home, not at a party that shes been disinvited to, while the girl who disinvited her is having a great time.

Screw that, go bigger, go better, and leave the bully out in the cold.

Erm because Obama did his terms? Legally they can only do two terms. Obama is loved, Trump is ridiculed. Sorry for the derail, but the IQ and EQ is just so low here. I'm out 😆 Good luck OP, hope it works out for your DD in the long run. Think hard about the lessons you're teaching.

I agree. It’s a party on a different day that this girl isn’t invited to. Just like your DD isn’t invited to the other one. I always think it’s weird what we expect children to put up with “oh just invite your DD’s bully to her party, it’s really mean not to”. No. Fuck that.
I was bullied at school. I’m so glad my mum never said I needed to invite the bullies into my house! And I don’t care if they were ever upset at not being invited. They were horrible.

What is making your daughter invite her bully teaching her? To be a doormat?!

You and others didn't seem to understand what taking the higher road meant, I was referring to the original context of the whole "when they go low, we go high" origins. HTH.

Your daughter isn’t being mean though?!…. She’s not inviting someone who has called her names and bullied her!…. You’re teaching her not to put up with bullies

Contrary to some peoples opinions, I think that having a party for your DD is a good idea.

Have her friends together in the summer before the new school term, throw a great party and ensure that she is on the best footing as possible with her peers. Children are influential and having the other girl talk badly and bully your child, may worsen things for DD once schools are back.

I also see nothing wrong with excluding the bully - as adults, we wouldnt invite someone who has horrible to us, to our parties, so its no different in this case.

Yeah and look who is in power now - the “going high” hasn’t worked out so well for them has it?

DO IT!!! as long as it’s not the same day shes
habing her party
theres no issue!!

A party sounds like a good idea if your DD can't go to the other one why not have one for her and her friends. I wouldn't think of it as some sort of revenge just letting your DD have access to a party with her friends. Hope it's great.

You are doing the right thing! Hope your dd has a fabulous time!

The "go high" rubbish was Michelle Obamas response to morons like Trump. Spoiler alert, in this scenario, you are Trump. I'd rather be classy like Michelle 🤷🏼‍♀️ Let that sit with you for awhile, truly think about it rather than reacting. Who do you think is the better parent and who do you think has the better kids 😑

At least you own it 😁👏