Dd(10) uninvited from party

Whoopie😏 My advice is to take @Toomanyweedsoutthere advice. It’s excellent and has value. Unlike a lot of spiteful nonsense on here. (Two spites don’t make a right).

We don’t, but if this causes the parents a headache, they must have an easy life.
If I was put in this position as a parent, I’d just ask my child “which party do you want to go to…”
The children are in Year 6 so they can decide for themselves.
They’re about to go into high school where there will be hundreds more children/more parties/more clashes etc.

Well if I had already rsvp’d for my child to the first party and got an invite to the OPs at best I would have to decline as already committed, at worst I would think OP is pretty pathetic for organising a rival party, regardless of the reason

Either way it’s the OPs DD I feel sorry for. Having to deal with Regina George at school or risk having a party with no attendees because of her mum

I get why you want to but I'm not sure what it would really achieve.

Some might go to the other girls as they have accepted & their parents make them.

Some might go to your daughter's purely for the pool!

Surely better to have it on another day so the kids aren't conflicted?

Yeh, I had no idea it was different here to England. Makes me look really stupid on this thread haha

In that case, maybe ask if her best friend could come to yours instead and you'll set up the pool for them both. Rather than a whole rival party?

Very good, sensible advice. I hope OP takes it.

Oh wow, that’s so early!
It’s 31st August in England for the cut-off.
I’m 40 weeks pregnant so this baby will be another young one in her class.

Oh, this rubbish. Children's parties. Drama and possible resentment from a young age.😭

We don’t know if dd has cousins locally. What about putting parents into a conundrum, what did they do to have to negotiate this headache?

I'd send another message to the mum pointing out your child has done nothing wrong and she is teaching her daughter to pit herself against other girls from a young age. It's really terrible parenting to let a little girl do this to another girl.

Then tell your daughter she can choose one or two friends to invite for a sleepover or something another time. I wouldn't do a rival party.

Bollocks, her DD will actively miss out on a leavers party if op doesn't host her own one. How is that fair?

I'd be tempted to do it, but could you be sure that enough other children would come? How many do you think would choose your DD's party over one they've already RSVPed to? If it were my child I'd say 'sorry but you can't just drop out because you've had a better offer. It's rude.'

Some people watch too many US tween/teen dramas. Gleefully setting up rival
parties on the same day. Sheesh.

It depends on the DD I guess?
I’d definitely hold a party for my daughter in these circumstances, with the idea that it’s so my daughter has a fun party even if it’s just with family and if any friends turn up it’s a bonus.
My DD (only 8) would still love to have a fun time with family/cousins etc.

I would have the party and not invite the mean girl but definitely not at the same time. Other than it being a bit mean in itself your daughter is going to feel even worse if nobody turns up because they’re all at the other party.

Oh okay. Must be different in northern Ireland. The cut off point is June 30th so someone with an August birthday would have been one of the eldest in the class

Yes and it is a very tricky game to play the line between it working and backfiring is a thin one.

it is just as likely others could be scared of this girl is she a mean girl in the proper sense or not

so the actual question is how is high school working is she with this girl?

How to say “none of my family were born in August” without actually saying it. 😉

I’m with everyone else. Yes to party, no to invite of Mean Girl, no to same day.

Something similar happened to my granddaughter. When it was her party (some time after) the mother of the girl actually messaged my daughter to find out why her daughter wasn't invited! The cheek of some people.

I would take my DC out for the day and not be drawn into an American teen drama situation.

On Gossip Girl, they DO have the party on the same day but they invite the frenemy and explain to her that they know she'll be at loose ands because no one is going to her party anymore. Then they spike her drink with Nair and pour it over her head.

Seriously, I wouldn't do it the same day as the other party because it puts the other children in an awkward position that they're probably not prepared for at 10 when they have done nothing wrong. Do something nice with your daughter that day, and then have her party another day soon. And DON'T invite the other party girl. First, you're doing it to cheer up your daughter so why would you invite the person who upset her? And second, she's told your daughter she doesn't want her company, so fair to assume she won't want to come to her party.

So no one turns up at the pool party and OP’s dd won’t be upset by that or feel ten times worse?

I took it as the 10 year-old won’t turn 11 until the summer holidays.
My SIL’s birthday is late-August so was always the youngest in her class 😅

Do you want to teach your DD to be spiteful as that is exactly what you would be doing if you went ahead with your revenge plan

You don’t sound old or mature enough to have a child at all never mind one having a leavers party