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Original poster

Dd(10) uninvited from party

613 replies

freddiewini · 13/07/2025 18:56

Dd (10) was invited to a girl in her classes leavers party after their last day. She’s not best friends with this girl, just friends but she was excited. All the girls invited( only 8 in total ) some of the boys.

She has now been uninvited because the boy the girl fancies told his friends he fancies dd. Dd doesn’t even like this boy or care about boys in general (thank god) But the girl doesn’t want dd at her party because he will be there. Dd has since been called names and been made fun of by this girl at school.

Her mums answer when I queried was just sorry but you know what girls that age are like when it comes to boys.

I would be unreasonable to let dd have her own party here wouldnt I? Dds best friends mum is encouraging me to. We have more room and a swimming pool and I know dd is generally more liked, girl has history of being mean and upsetting people.
What if we have it this weekend, (they breakup Tuesday after) inviting the other girls but obviously not the one who’s been mean to her? I

OP posts:
polarsystem · 13/07/2025 21:26

Definitely do it. What an awful thing for the mother to endorse. Have a lovely party for your daugter with all her friends. Give her something to look forward to.

Suusue · 13/07/2025 21:24

Yes deffo have a party.

Topsyturvy78 · 13/07/2025 21:23

YANBU to have a party for your DD.
YABU to have it on the same day as this girl. The other girls have already accepted the invite. You can't expect them to pick sides. You do and your DD will be bullied and you will never hear the end of it.

Namechangerage · 13/07/2025 21:22

Definitely have the party and don’t invite the bully!! Sod them. The mum should have told her no.

IthasYes · 13/07/2025 21:21

Omg!! At 10!
Where is this op, no neither of my girls like thiz now or at 10 !

Can you let boys mum know and say how upset dd is and would they like a play date instead

sprigatito · 13/07/2025 21:20

Windowlight · 13/07/2025 20:00

I would 100% throw a party but definitely not on the same day. Partly because it really lacks class to do that and teaches bad behaviour to your daughter but also because it could result in a poor turn out. Pick a date (ideally before the original party) and go with that

I personally would invite the mean girl because again that shows the higher moral ground and more class. She will either decline as they’re not friends and it would be awkward to come, or she will agree and have to come and behave and it will diffuse the whole situation. If you invite her, your daughter will have played an amazing power move, but with class. She will have shown that she has plenty of friends and can throw her own party and does not need this girl, but will have also demonstrated that there is no need to be mean and leave people out, but equally she won’t be a victim

Yes, this.

Bestfootforward11 · 13/07/2025 21:20

I don’t think you should to be honest. Your DD’s classmate is a kid, it’s her mother who is not handling this well. I think do a party on another day and make it amazing x

ColinCaterpillarsNo1Fan · 13/07/2025 21:18

Absolutely do this to teach the narcissists a lesson, looks like the apple didn't fall far from the tree in this case.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 13/07/2025 21:15

How about a play date with her bff, get their nails done at home, treats etc.

It's not teaching her to be spiteful and the lesson isn't that you allow people to be mean and just take it, but you remove yourself and not take it personally.

The other girl will grow up and they'll hopefully laugh about one day.

Two wrongs don't make a right.

Zellycat · 13/07/2025 21:14

What if mean girl had plans to travel & would decline anyway

waste of spite

Crazyworldmum · 13/07/2025 21:06

Do your own party invite that boy too !! Make it the best party ever . That mum is ridiculous. No wonder her daughter is a bully

Mirabai · 13/07/2025 21:05

Same day is silly and petty. But organising a pool party for DD’s friends not including the girl - gfi.

MelliC · 13/07/2025 21:04

It sounds as if you daughter is popular, beautiful and rich. The other girl sounds very immature and is having trouble containing her jealousy. Don't make the situation worse than it already is.

TheaBrandt1 · 13/07/2025 21:04

I think I would organise a better party and possibly invite the horrible girl who would be obliged to decline but you would look like the bigger person <evil>.

HauntedMarshmallow · 13/07/2025 21:01

KeepCalmAndPretendItIsOnTheLessonPlan · 13/07/2025 19:04

I think that would come under reaping what you sow and might be a decent lesson to both the girl and her mum.
I'd also prepare yourself for a text message from said mum, at which point you shorten your reply to: Sorry, I'm sure you know what girls that age are like when it comes to being hurt and humiliated in class.
As an aside, it is damned scary how many young girls are seeking validation from boys so early. I think the modern parlance is thirsty but good God, TikToks should be banned.

I don’t think I’d go out of my way to humiliate a 10 year old girl because I didn’t agree with the approach of her mother. In fact it sounds like vile bully behaviour to me and a very poor lesson to your own DD.

Im sure the girls would be very happy to have two parties/play dates on two separate days and there is no need to go full Mean Girls over the whole thing.

Imagine what things will be like at secondary if you set a president like this so early. Very sad.

Harassedmum123 · 13/07/2025 21:00

Definitely do it! I wouldn’t do it the same day but yes, teach this girl and her mum a lesson for sure!

Bournetilly · 13/07/2025 20:59

Yes do it and don’t invite the other girl.

Player62 · 13/07/2025 20:57

I can’t believe that people are advising OP to invite her child’s bully to the party in order to show some kind of moral high ground and kindness 🤦‍♀️

This is the OP’s DD’s safe space and her mother should invite a girl who is belittling her and laughing at her appearance into her home? Madness.

Devonmaid1844 · 13/07/2025 20:53

Wadadli · 13/07/2025 20:50

The boy is blameless. It’s the mean girl
snd her mum who are at fault

Show quote history

I understand that, but without knowing his name it seemed the easiest way of identifying him shrug

JMSA · 13/07/2025 20:51

Not what I would do. It makes you no better than them.

Wadadli · 13/07/2025 20:50

Devonmaid1844 · 13/07/2025 19:55

Another vote for do it, but invite the girl, also the boy that caused the bother.

It should teach your daughter that bullies can't have their way, but also to take the high ground and include people in what sounds like a small school/ local community.

Much better than teaching her to be a mean girl and show off her 'nicer' things

The boy is blameless. It’s the mean girl
snd her mum who are at fault

JollyGoodFella · 13/07/2025 20:48

I would do it

indigovapour · 13/07/2025 20:48

Jochef · 13/07/2025 20:35

Jesus. They are 10 years old. Like they’ll give a shit in a few weeks time.

it’s horrible to be excluded from things but neither mum is setting a good example. First child already has issues, that’s clear. Why pile it on ?

First mum sounds like a Cnut and her daughter is going the same way. Be a bigger person, and don’t let your daughter think that this behaviour is acceptable, you have the pool party and don’t invite child 1, you’re as bad as they are.

Teaching kids to be doormats and to let people treat them poorly - great parenting. I’m sure if the girl and her mother make a sincere apology OP would consider letting her come but if not then that’s on them isn’t it? It’s not being a bigger person to allow a girl who’s been bullying your daughter to come to a party at your house - it’s just being a shit parent.

indigovapour · 13/07/2025 20:45

freddiewini · 13/07/2025 20:09

I don’t think I could let dd invite this girl whatever day it is. The last week she’s been laughed out, called ugly, had her curly hair and gap in her teeth made fun of. I don’t want this girl in our house.

I think your instincts are spot on. This is one of the moments where you show your daughter you’ve got her back. She’ll remember.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 13/07/2025 20:43

Definitely do the party but on a different day/time. It makes it very difficult for the other children who may want to come to your daughters party but have already committed elsewhere.