Dd(10) uninvited from party

I can’t believe the other Mum let her 10 year old uninvited someone over a boy! You do mean 10 years old not year 10 don’t you?
I was team do it but I do usually aim high rather than low. Pool parties are great though and it’s good to get the use out of it!

This. You wouldn't have had to arrange it if mean girl hadn't been mean. Your DD deserves a party just as much as the rest of them

This really seems like a jealousy issue around a boy, and not a fully fledged bully situation. It's actually a great opportunity for DD to show her maturity and tell the other girl that she has no interest in the boy rather than this ridiculous overblown reaction. If this girl does have form for being mean, I can only see it getting worse. And pulling everyone into the drama. It seems something out of an Mean Girls movie, not for 10 year olds. OP should be embarrassed (although I totally understand why she was pissed off in the first place, a pity the mothers couldn't have been more mature about the whole thing)

I cannot believe you are a teacher, that is beyond depressing to read

Believe me, being kind to a genuine bully simply does not work: it simply empowers the bully.

Exactly bitchy mums creating bitchy daughters

Well that's fair, but all this girl is likey to do is bullying her afterwards. Kill woth kindness and all that I personally don't think it's a good approach to be as petty.

This. I can see why so many MNers don't have healthy relationships and often not any friends. This is a life teaching moment OP, you get to choose to empower your daughter or teach her to let someone make her feel small and stoop to their level. So shocked at many of the responses on here, clearly people have zero emotional intelligence

When I was bullied at school, my mother tried really hard to boost my confidence. It really didn't work. The relentless bullying had a profound effect on me.

Had my mother been misguided enough to invite the ringleader into our home, I would have been distraught.

No.

You want the OP's daughter to feel miserable or stressed at her own party?

@Picklelily99 @Isitreallysohard Why on earth would @freddiewini daughter invite someone to her party who excluded her, made horrible comments to her and dragged her into drama? That’s not about being a mean girl or a “bitch” (nice way to describe a child) it’s just about having a very basic level of self respect and not being a complete mug.

Regardless of having her own (hopefully fabulous) party this weekend, OPs daughter is now going to spend the evening of her very last day at primary school on her own whilst all her school mates are at a party together, that she’s been excluded from. That’s really really shit for her and you think she should host this girl?? What crap level of self respect are you teaching your kids?

Throw her a massive party, invite all of her class mates, except for that one girl! Hopefully, that will teach her a valuable life lesson!

Get a grip woman, you're not 10! Don't stoop so low! By all means have a party, but INVITE the other girl, show her your daughter is the bigger person, no grudges etc! Don't let your daughter see YOU being the mean girl! Honestly, you'll both feel better for it.

@justasking111 the girl looks like a dick, OPs daughter having a party and not inviting the girl, then makes her look like an even bigger dick (or bitch). HTH

Good point. All this drama over a boy. What are you teaching your daughters ladies!

Off topic and perhaps I'm old school, but isn't 10 year olds too young to be fancying anyone?!

Of course not, but I agree with "go high". This is just immature and petty, it makes far too much of a big deal about it. I'd teach my daughter confidence and self respect and not to care and react to some insignificant person that will have no effect on my life.

I’m glad you are holding her an end of year party and not inviting the bully. I really hope the girls mum texts so you can reply with the same crap she gave you! I hope no one shows up to her party a few days later, sometimes that’s the only way a mean girl will learn to change her behaviour especially as her mum obviously endorses it!!

Nope. It would be extremely mean to have her party at the same time, but given that it's going to be on a different day, DD gets to invite who she wants. She doesn't owe the spiteful girl anything.

Really you teach your daughter to be a doormat?

This. How ridiculous to throw a party and not invite the girl, petty and pathetic. You'd be a terrible role model for your daughter. Have a party, but invite everyone.

What time is the mean girls party? Because I would start yours about 90 minutes later.

Well, the Mum has been quite clear that she's happy to tolerate mean girl behaviour, so I can't see why they'd have a problem with this. I'd do it. The mean girl will have opportunity to learn from it and mend her ways before secondary school.

Why not have party same day / time as other girls party?

Do it. And invite the mean girl too. She won't turn up, you'll have risen above that sort of behaviour. (Or she may ditch her own party).