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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell my bro his wife is secretly preventing pregnancy?

306 replies

MyameVyce · 13/07/2025 18:41

About 2 years ago my bro told me he’s trying for a baby with his wife. He was really excited and was hoping it would happen quickly for them because he can’t wait to be a dad. With it being a personal sensitive topic I would not ask further updates, but he’s made a few rueful comments about how it isn’t happening. He mentioned that his wife had said she doesn’t want fertility investigations or treatments and if it doesn’t happen naturally she’d be ok with that.

Problem is that SIL made a weird kind of confession to me where she basically told me she’s on contraception and my bro doesn’t know. Conversation was bizarre. She giggled and saying “ssshhhh” don’t tell him.

I have no interest in getting involved in someone else’s marital problems but I told my best friend about this and she strongly thought I needed to tell my bro.

AIBU to keep this info to myself?

OP posts:
DisplayPurposesOnly · 13/07/2025 18:52

I would tell her that I wasn't prepared to keep that secret and that I would tell my brother.

Humanswarm · 13/07/2025 18:52

He's your brother. You do need to tell him so he can make fully informed life choices. How cruel!

TheyFuckYouUpYourMamAndDad · 13/07/2025 18:52

I would speak to her and tell her that you are concerned that she is lying to your brother.

FrodoBiggins · 13/07/2025 18:50

Ugh your poor brother. I would tell my brother but I don't think it's an easy choice. Awful!

Withdjsns · 13/07/2025 18:48

I think if you feel strongly he needs to know then say to his wife she needs to tell him or you will. Although I think in reality I’d keep out of it .

SleepQuest33 · 13/07/2025 18:48

I think that’s a huge betrayal from your SIL to him, a huge lie and divorce worthy.

If he wants a family and she really doesn’t (does she? In the future?) then he deserves to know but it has to come from her. Can you have an honest chat with her?