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AIBU?

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Original poster

Exhausted and DH has invited child over for a playdate

36 replies

BubbleGumSplit · 13/07/2025 18:31

Ive spent the weekend away at a brownie camp with DD. During the night there were some very upset home sick children and an unwell child which I had to get up to help with and therefore I had very little sleep. I then had to be up and lively all day with the kids of course. So long story short Ive come home exhausted. Only to find that my DH has organised a play date here for my youngest child so there's 2 very excited kids running about when all I want is quiet and rest. I suggested DH take them out for a walk for a while because Ive totally burnt out and hes said hes too busy. AIBU to think hes being a bit selfish here. He knew how tired I was. I had told him on the phone.

OP posts:
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stichguru · 13/07/2025 19:45

Isn't your child having a playdate really helpful though? DH is busy, you are exhausted, in need of a shower, and have clothes and bedding to wash. Isn't your younger child being happily entertained by their friend a heck of a lot better than them, having missed you all weekend, wanting a couple of hours of uninterrupted time playing with you?! (Unless of course they are tiny and need an adult all the time, but given that friend was here and DH was busy when you came in I assume this isn't the case.)

Glasgowgal200 · 13/07/2025 19:36

He organised it he can deal with them

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 13/07/2025 19:30

nocoolnamesleft · 13/07/2025 19:22

Is he punishing you for going to Brownie camp with one child, and him thus having to actually get off his arse and parent the other children?

Think you're onto something here...
If he organises a playdate on the day, he hosts it. Anything could have happened to stop you being home at teatime. Putting equipment away, deciding to go out for tea with the other brownie leaders..., going to the gym to sit in the jacuzzi etc etc
This smacks of him organising something so your child is occupied but you have to do the adulting. It's very convenient that he's too busy to continue parenting the moment you get through the door.

User37482 · 13/07/2025 19:29

DH has arranged playdates before and we have both assumed he’s in charge of them. Direct the children to him.

assertiveplant · 13/07/2025 19:27

I'm sorry your husband is such a prick.

nocoolnamesleft · 13/07/2025 19:22

Is he punishing you for going to Brownie camp with one child, and him thus having to actually get off his arse and parent the other children?

DisforDarkChocolate · 13/07/2025 19:21

I take myself off and leave him to it.

CaptainFuture · 13/07/2025 19:19

How old are the dc over for the playdate?

Original poster
BubbleGumSplit · 13/07/2025 19:12

I've taken the advice here and moved myself to a quiet area where they hopefully wont find me as easily. Ive also told them a few times that 'I'm too tired to do that' and they're getting the message. I guess I told him I was tired so that we could plan a quiet evening so this wasnt what i was expecting him to do.

OP posts:
HabberdasheryAddict · 13/07/2025 18:56

Moonnstars · 13/07/2025 18:35

Surely if he organised the playdate he should be the one entertaining the children.

Precisely

Rattai · 13/07/2025 18:55

Just go out. Leave him to his arrangements

Coconutter24 · 13/07/2025 18:48

Bath or long shower and chill out on your bed with the door shut. DH arranged the play date so he can supervise

Illprobsregretthis · 13/07/2025 18:48

How old are they? Surely the invited child will be going home soon? Mine are 1 and 3 though, so I’ve no idea about bedtimes for older children.

SixteenClovesOfGarlic · 13/07/2025 18:46

I don't understand what's happening, is the husband not supervising them? He wanted to host the kid, so leave him to it.
Put headphones on and go about your day/relax or whatever.

TheChosenTwo · 13/07/2025 18:43

How old are the children? I’m guessing they’re keeping themselves occupied?

CaptainFuture · 13/07/2025 18:42

So is he expecting you to supervise the play date, or is the issue you don't want non brownie dd and her friend playing in the house? How old are they?

OurBeautifulBaby · 13/07/2025 18:42

Isn’t it time they were heading home soon? I would leave him to continue keeping an eye on them in the meantime.

Catwoman8 · 13/07/2025 18:42

Of course you aren't being unreasonable, why has he organised a playdate if he is too busy to oversee it? He has organised it, he should be facilitating it. I would be pissed off my husband organised a playdate and then expected me to do all the hosting , especially after a busy weekend when you just want to relax.

gamerchick · 13/07/2025 18:42

He organised it, he can supervise them. Go and have a bath with a book or something and lock the door.

ExpertArchFormat · 13/07/2025 18:41

@Sminty2 is correct.

Bath and bed, asap.

The playdate is your DH's responsibility. Fuck off to his "too busy" he created the situation and it's nothing to do with you.

Original poster
BubbleGumSplit · 13/07/2025 18:41

ThejoyofNC · 13/07/2025 18:39

Busy doing what? Surely if he arranged it then he's watching them?

Unless it was a last minute plan then it would have been a bit crap cancel it just because you're tired. He should have just agreed to take them out/keep the noise away from you so you can rest.

No it wasnt planned or discussed with me. He called them today and organised it knowing the situation

OP posts:
GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 13/07/2025 18:40

How is he 'busy'?! He's supervising the children, right?!

I'd go out, take a blanket and lie on the grass in a park or something. He can't just arrange for a small child to come over and then wander off, then need adult supervision!

lemoncake29 · 13/07/2025 18:40

MaryTheTurtle · 13/07/2025 18:35

Why should the other DC miss out because you’re tired

There’s always one isn’t there 🙄

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 13/07/2025 18:40

Just go and have a bath and leave him to it - you don't need to get involved, surely?

SoftPillow · 13/07/2025 18:39

I’d be going to bed and leaving it to DH to sort. He invited, he is hosting.

Plus, if it was a sickness bug I wouldn’t want to spread the possible germs.