To think that my appearance is no one else’s business?

I don't think the weight loss is the issue here, it sounds like it's the cosmetic surgery they are worried about. They are probably concerned that whilst you have only had "a tiny bit" this time, you might have a little bit more next time. Sometimes people do go too far because of how low their self esteem is it can be a slippy slope. I don't think it's always jealousy.

What do you mean?

Well, that would be huge numbers of teenage girls and young women, over the last 60 odd years.

My mum was a teen in the 50s and she wouldn’t even go out to get a pint of milk without her face on.

Is it right? No, not really. But it’s not especially unusual to be unconfident without make up when you’re younger.

OP, even if it's coming from a place of concern, 'all hell breaking loose' is very extreme.

I'd be telling them that your appearance isn't up for discussion thanks, and change the subject every time.

I guess I am a bad parent with no boundaries, and strong objections to this look.

Jealousy is always mentioned on these threads and sometimes it really isn't.

My dad said to me I was taking my wedding weight loss too far and I looked gaunt. i don't think he was jealous!

Lol, this is what is known as you 'getting above your station' and they're spitting about it

Well done OP, Im the same, I notice the little pointed comments and actually love it that Ive made so much change for myself.

May I ask why? And also why you’d “have a lot to say”or why you’d object if your adult daughter had work done?

This post provides a good example of why your family might be concerned. Someone needing their brows microbladed and filler injected before they can go make-up free without being self-conscious is someone you should be concerned about.

Jealousy is always mentioned on these threads and sometimes it really isn't.

I look at some people and think - doesn't anyone love them enough to tell them?

Ultimately, it is your business. If you're happy, try to ignore them or tell them to mind their business.

I’m guessing that the OP has filled the family position of the fat girl who everyone feels slightly sorry for

They seemed more concerned about the tweakments rather than the weight loss.

As I’ve got older I’ve started to realise why people have facelifts etc. My lips have pretty much disappeared, and drag down at the corner, so I look like a just have a downwards slash for a mouth.

If I had the guts id get a bit of work done.

Right ok. I disagree.

What is their problem with it? Are they people who disapprove of fillers etc generally for feminist reasons /health concerns (but even so, your body, your business).

Or is it that YOU have had it done? Sometimes people are allocated a specific role in a family and if you act outside that role other members can get very cross without being able to explain why. I think it affects their own sense of equilibrium and stability. So you were "fat daughter" and now you're not. They were probably just getting used to your weight loss and now you're all glammed up and glossy too. I'm sensing perhaps some indignation that you didn't just accept being a middle aged old bag.

I bet you look great and well done on your weight loss.

Yes, I'd have a lot to say. Sorry.

I think it's normal for family to comment if another family member goes through a radical transformation. Perhaps it just comes from a place of concern?

Because they’re jealous of how good the OP is feeling about herself.

I’m guessing that the OP has filled the family position of the fat girl who everyone feels slightly sorry for and oh no, her relationship has broken down now so we can carry on feeling sorry for her - only the OP has taken control of the narrative now.

I'd have a lot to say if my daughter got lip filler. My sister not so much.

Why would anyone be jealous of lip filler?

People can dislike a look without being jealous.

Congratulations on the weight loss. I suspect when you say, 'the tiniest bit of filler' and they are both worried that you've gone too far that it isn't actually as tiny as you think it is. It's clearly quite obvious.

I'd be concerned if my sister was doing this - it does sound like you are having a lot of different work done and I'd wonder whether you were full of anxiety and insecurities underneath. That's just my opinion, obviously. I couldn't ever envisage having work done to my face so I'm dubious about people who do.

Well done OP. I suspect your mum and sis are a wee bit jealous. Take absolutely no notice.

I think you are being a bit black and white.

They aren’t saying they prefer you fat and miserable. They are saying that you are going hard at cosmetic treatments in a way that isn’t in character.

That’s a caring observation, and a reasonable concern to raise. A relaxed response would be, ‘No, it’s all good, I’m done now. I’ll just be better at self care from now on.’ Your reaction suggests it’s caught you on a nerve.

All the people who have had plastic surgery addictions or similar, started out with perfectly reasonable, small tweaks. At some point they edged across to dysmorphia and ended up looking like a cat, Barbie, an alien, or just someone else. Being asked to slow down a bit by your family is not an infringement on your civil liberties- even if they are wrong.