To not feel the need to deal with my aversion / phobia of dogs?

of course she’s not weird,
you realise you’re rude,right?

You realise you’re weird , right .

YANBU. I am similar to you in that I am very wary of dogs although I wouldn’t say terrified , unless they run at me. However like you I also don’t like the idea of their smell/slobber and the fact they can try and sniff or lick you after sniffing or eating poo etc - so just don’t want to be around them.

To be honest I wouldn’t always view a fear of dogs as a phobia, the same way a fear of a (non poisonous) spider is a phobia.

Because the spider is harmless whereas the dog is potentially not. Thousands of people are treated for dog bites each year by the RSPCA. Even a “friendly” dog can accidentally scratch or knock you over. These kind of incident are not that rare. I avoid dogs and it’s still happened to me a couple of times in the last few years alone.

The fear or “phobia” of dogs is not completely unfounded or illogical

Fortunately for me most of my friends and family don’t have dogs. But the few that do respect I’m not keen on them and are happy to keep their dog away if I visit (rarely) and don’t bring them to coffee meet ups etc.

when I was younger I had a couple of friends who had very well trained dogs that I quite liked as they’d just say hi with a paw then leave me alone. Nowadays a lot more dogs are poorly trained so I prefer to stay clear altogether.

Sounds like your friends/family have selfish reasons for wanting you to “get over it” and that’s why they’re not letting it go. Stand your ground Op!

The only time I'd disagree is if a persons phobic reaction put them at a higher risk of being bitten.

As a dog owner and pet lover in general I do understand your thoughts.

therapy won’t work as you openly admit you don’t like dogs it’s not just a fear etc.

if I had a friend like you then I would completely understand why you didn’t want to visit but then you would have to understand why I would be cutting get togethers short (need to get home for the dog if he’s alone) or not making plans etc

I live alone so when I go out I usually like to be home in a max of 4 hours for the dog. I just don’t think it’s fair leaving him longer. Can occasionally get a dog sitter though.

You do you but keep in mind that there will be times you’ll miss out etc. I know with friends / family that have dogs get togethers in houses/gardens usually involve the dogs coming along (we’re mainly animal lovers and those that aren’t tolerate it) and I’ve found more recently as we get older we will choose dog friendly cafes/bars etc for catchups. We don’t have many wild nights out now and dog walks with lunch/few pints etc is the norm.

I've kept dogs my entire life - mostly medium to large dogs and I have no fear of them with the exception of Pitbulls and XL Bullies, for obvious reasons. What I am frightened of is moths to the point where I will not put the light on in a room in which a window is open for fear one might fly in. It's completely illogical I know but it is what it is. I empathise with your phobia and wouldn't expect you to come to my house, I would offer to meet you elsewhere.

I’ve put YABU simply because as you said, dogs are everywhere and there will be times it would be easier not to be afraid of them. I’d say the same thing about spiders, cats, any other random creature that exists in the world and could cross your path one day. Doesn’t mean you have to go full on furbaby auntie cuddling all your friends’ dogs! I say this as someone who is cautious of unknown dogs since being bitten as a teenager. I’d love to not mind dogs which come running over but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to be like that.

“go to (expensive) therapy so we can use you for free dog sitting”

cheeky fuckers.

I'm with you on most of that. It's very difficult to find a cafe that's dog free nowadays though and I don't fancy eating with smelly dogs nearby.
I would have thought it was good manners to put the dog in another room if guests come.
I don't mind dogs as much as the OP but I hate them jumping up at me. Dog lovers will say that's the owners fault but it seems to be every dog I've met.

If you have an actual phobia, you don't need to add that you're 'quite scared' of them.

Dog threads out in force this weekend 😆

It sounds like you just really don’t do dogs and that is OK -
doesn’t mean you have OCD or need therapy

therapy wouldn’t work if u don’t like dogs, don’t want to be around them and that suits you -

Therapy can help people who have OCD or phobias that is impacting negatively on their lives and they want to address that - that doesn’t sound like where you are at !

be assertive - say you just don’t do dogs !!

If it’s not impacting you and you aren’t trying to make others behave differently, then there’s nothing to change.

M They just can’t believe you don’t like their dogs 🤣 speaking as a proud dog owner mum!

YANBU

You do you.