To wear my hair long at 40

The vast majority of 40yr olds I know have long hair. I can’t actually think of any I know personally with hair above shoulder length, I’m sure there’s a couple though. So I think this must be a very, very outdated idea.

You look 40, OP, because you are 40!

My DM, who would have been 80+ now held the opinion that 'older' women shouldn't have long hair. She had never had it longer than shoulder, even when she was young, and had the same style from when she was late 30s - short, layered and permed. I remember her commenting about ladies i worked with - they would have been in the early 50s - that their hair was "far too long for their age" 😬🙄 I didn't get it. Their hair was in good condition and well looked after. I had mine cut into a long bob age 47, just because it was annoying me at shoulder length and I fancied a change. DM died 15 years ago, but I know she would have gone on and on at me to have it cut "sensibly" from age 40.

If you like it and it looks good, enjoy it OP. I find the Umberto Gianini shampoos good. Always used Elvive til they changed it and then it was crap

I'm 50, my hair is grey, and I am no model. It is long, past my shoulders.I have my hairdresser bung some 'ashy' highlights in every 2-3 months. I don't give a shiny shite about how I am 'supposed' to look at 50. If you want short hair, have short hair because you want it, not because of some arbitrary standards. My lovely Mum is in her 70s with shoulder length grey hair and also cares not.
I take Viviscal and have done for years; it's helped with growth and overall condition. I don't use a particular shampoo for hair health or any specific applications, the supplements do the heavy lifting.

Has anyone in real life actually said anything?

Online they are trying to get you to buy products and if you don't think there is a problem they can't sell you the products to "solve" it. Old marketing trick. No need to be affected by this at all.

But has anyone in real life said this to you yet?

I’m 40 and no has suggested I cut my hair.

Nearly 50 and hair down to my waist. I braid it most days. Best condition its been in as use hair oil

I’m 69 and grey, I much prefer my hair long a) so I can twist and clip it up off my neck, and b) so it doesn’t need cutting so often. I had a pixie cut about 8 years ago and while it was quicker to dry (I don’t blow dry), it needed much more frequent trims and I hated it tickling my neck.

You say you keep seeing ads OP - it sounds like targeted marketing.

It could be that your phone “listens” to conversations you’re having, picks up keywords from searches or online activity, or the app has access to your personal data, such as your date of birth.

I haven’t seen any of the ads you describe but I get a ton of weight loss stuff and recently a lot of ads for “women over 50” - I turn 50 this autumn.

Do whatever you need to so that you’re happy with your hair. But don’t pay any attention to the ads - they’re not real in any meaningful way and have been targeted to get you to click.

I cannot recommend any shampoos as I have short hair.
However the only thing you should not wear is the weight of other people’s opinions or expectations on your preferred hair style/length. Ditto with clothes.

You sound brilliant to me.

My mum is 67 and keeps her hair at just below collar bone. It is easy to blow dry or air dry, will go up in a big claw clip or elastic, it’s fine. She looks nice. Don’t let people put you off!

I wonder if its a generational thing?

My mother (then in her early 60's) went on at me not long after my 40th that it was time I got my hair cut. That I shouldnt have long hair at that age. It looks silly on "older" women....bear in mind I had a 2 year old at the time, hardly ancient!

Well I think she finally gave up during covid when I dyed my (half way down my back) hair bright pink.

I am now 52, hair is still very long and only no longer pink as I couldnt be arsed with the up keep!

Why do you need to “get away with” your own natural hair, exactly? Do you think women exist to look a particular level of pleasing to others ?

I've had various lengths from v short to down my back. I'm now mid 40s and looking back long suits me best so I'm sticking with it!

I use nizoral soothing for itchy scalp and it really sorts it for me.

I’m 54 and my hair is way past my waist. It does need a good cut to tbh but I can’t be bothered so I just chuck it in a bun

I've just turned 40 but have very short hair and have done since I was 16. It suits me, I like it and I stand out from everybody else. I'm not hiding my lovely face (even with the additional laughter lines) which makes me feel confident and a little bit sexy and rebellious, especially now it's almost entirely silver. Wear your own hair how you like. Nobody else cares.

I had short hair briefly when I was in my 30s. I found it aging and it didn't suit me. Wear it shoulder length and I'm 60. I don't have much grey, I have a few highlights through it to warm it up

Sadly the only thing that are proven to help with hair loss are choosing the right parents or using Regaine. Honestly look at the research, all the other stuff might make you feel better but it does naff all....you might also like to google telogen effluvium. A good diet can help if your diet isn't brilliant, try multivits if you don't already.
I am 72 and went short for the final time last year after starting to have a final hippy long as I can grow it phase in 2017. I don't think you are ever too old for the hairstyle you want if it makes you feel good.

Absolutely! I have always had waist length hair in great condition. Always just a regular trim and no die or perms- and late 40s still no grey and it is as it always was. But I swear by twice a week- gently heating coconut oil and put on my scalp and the entire length of my hair - leaving it for a few hours before a deep conditioner treatment.

Ha! I”m 65 and have hair just below my shoulders. Ironically I had short hair all through my 30s and now I look at those photos and want to weep. It really didn’t suit my features and I look mumsy and frumpy.

It’s all about what suits your face, your hair and your style.

My Great Grandmother use to have very long thick white hair - it was stunning. Mind you she was quite unconventional!

I have short & shaven hair and biotin (£1 from Poundland) has made my hair curly thicker

I’m early 50s with hair down to my bra strap. I’ve always had long hair and can’t imagine cutting it short.
A few years ago I noticed my hair was going lank at the roots and dry at the ends. I changed shampoo and it was absolutely transformational - bouncy fresh hair!
The new shampoo is Schwarzkopf Bonacure Rescue Repair. There’s different ones for different hair types.