To tell a child-free friend not to bring a vegan meal to my BBQ?

Will you have a separate section of the bbq where no meat is being cooked? If not there wouldn't be any point in bringing her own food if nowhere meat free to cook it. I'd be surprised if she was the only vegan or vegetarian coming. At bbqs I've been to the hosts have supplied veggie food on a separate bbq for several people.

Can’t edit my post but I’d ban her from preaching as that’s also not acceptable… and remember to cook her food first or have a separate grill or all hell will break loose!

This is ridiculous. Did your husband actually say 'she should eat what we provide?'. What possibly reason can he take exception to it? Aside from the very stupid argument that it would put other people of their food. Has he always been a selfish idiot?

You should tell your husband he's completely unreasonable and you don't want to hear such utter shite again, and then thank your friend kindly for bringing her own food.

Your husband can just sit inside and sulk with all his sausages.

I would say this but a vegan would not want their food cooked on a bbq where meat has been cooked on. I would have no problem them bringing their own food at all.

Is it really about her eating lentil sausages or about her preaching while people are trying to enjoy their pork sausages? Lots of meat eaters try and eat more veggie - I would say she doesn't need to bring anything as you'll be supplying them and can she though be mindful of not talking about meat when others are eating.

The vegan would get veg and salad.

Urrggh!

I can't imagine treating a friend like a child and deciding what (absolutely poor) offering they should eat, rather than asking them what they'd like.

Your husband is a rude asshole.

She has dietary requirements that don't allow her to eat what he is cooking.

He's being a poor host not providing a vegan option when he knows at least one of the guests is vegan. Good hosts provide meals their guests will eat, not expect the guests to change their dietary requirements to go along with his plan.

Is he just trying to exclude her because he doesn't like child free vegans? Because why would you bring up child free?

I'm a vegetarian and always offer to bring my own pack of sausages or burgers as a courtesy, so that the host doesn't have to buy food especially for me. It's a very strange take to think it's rude. Most people actually tell me not to worry about it and say they are planning on shopping to include me anyway.

Give her some food she can eat, for god's sake!

Your DH is a dick. So you only hang around people who have the same views as your DH. What if one of your children become vegan? Will you disown them.

I don't eat meat, haven't done for about 40 years, don't expect any fancy treatment. Happy with salad,veg, roll. People used to say I was really difficult and fussy. I would be happy with a lump of cheese and bread. I don't eat vegan artificial crap, I had to have a number of abdo surgery pre veggie, and there's lots of things I can't eat. I don't have any issues with other people eating meat, but I certainly cater for all my guests. The vegan would get veg and salad.

Its fine for her to bring her own food. Its poor hosting to not provide food for all your guests tbh.

It would not be fine for her to berate others at the bbq.

Do you think she would? Does she have a history of doing that?

If not, your husband is a dick.
If yes then dont invite her 🤷‍♀️

tbh if I invite someone to a barbecue I accommodate their dietary requirements… you can get vegan food everywhere now it’s not expensive.

Your dh sounds like a bit of an arse, and he doesn’t want her there so finding a reason to end the friendship… because if you invited me to a food event, didn’t provide food and banned me from bringing my own then I would definitely not bother with you again

And yes, as a PP says, if you're hosting then you should be providing food she can eat.

I think your dh is being a dick. She doesn't eat meat and has suggested bringing her own food so as not to inconvenience you. If he's so offended by her bringing her own food, then offer to make her a vegan friendly dish.

The preaching is another matter. I'd politely ask her to refrain from preaching at a get together you're hosting. You understand her views and that she's passionate about it, but your other guests are meat eaters and you don't want a bad atmosphere.

I'd have no problem with her bringing her own food but I would be asking her to give the lectures a skip or to skip the event

Your husband sounds like an absolute prick and you sound like a shit host. Why wouldn't you already be catering for someone you know is vegan?

I cannot believe your thread isn’t about how awful your husband is!

Your DH is embarrassingly stupid.

However if your friend has form for banging on about animals when people are eating meat, you'll have to tell her that the invitation is being given with the proviso that she packs that rude shit in.

Nothing wrong with wanting to bring her own food at all. Means far less hassle for you too.
Is your DH assuming she will be preaching to people about veganism? TBH, I reckon he will be the one talking about bacon and dangling sausages in her face.

Why aren’t you providing vegan food if you’re inviting someone you know is vegan?

if you don’t want to, then of course you should let her bring her own food.

If I was her and knew your DH was a dick about my dietary choices, I wouldn't trust any food cooked by you not to be fucked with by him. It's happened to me before where relatives and friends of friends have thought it was the funniest thing ever to feed me milk. Along with the "what are your shoes made of then" comments that aren't ever the gotcha people think they are.

The only person being unreasonable is your husband, he sounds awful (I’m a meat eater and not keen on vegan preaching, so no bias here).

Being child free is irrelevant.

And your husband is a dick.

Not sure why her being child free makes any difference but your DH sounds like a right twat.