To tell a child-free friend not to bring a vegan meal to my BBQ?

Oh bore off. This is such a myth.

Your dh ain't wrong if she's gonna be sitting there preaching, people can eat whatever the hell they like. Let her bring her meal but if she starts her shite get her told.

I have been in your friend's situation at a coffee morning. They did not cater for vegans at all (not even a biscuit, never mind a cake); told me I was not to bring my own and then told me 'it is so difficult being vegan isn't it?'.
Erm no. Only when hosts go out of their way to make sure there is nothing for me to eat !

Your DH is being very unreasonable. If you invite a vegan to a meal then really it's unreasonable not to include a vegan option among the things you are providing (eg a separate bbq aparatus for veggies only (I love roast pepper with my burgers) but if you aren't doing that, or if the guest feels those arrangements won't work for them - eg there will be halloumi on the veggie section) then of course they will bring their own food. What kind of shitty person says "no" to that? It's saying "we are having a gathering but you will not be welcome. If you come we will not feed you, we will actively prevent you from feeding yourself, you will go hungry just to ensure you know how little you are worth to us"

Yes some vegans can be boringly preachy. Either don't invite them to things or put up with the boring bits if they are otherwise worth being friends with.

Yeah, a spoonful of side order is all she needs to avoid this dreadful “fuss”!

Why is her being single relevant? Sound a bit patronising.

It has absolutely nothing to do with it. Bizarre op even mentioned it! Maybe if she wasn’t childfree they’d allow her a vegan burger? Lol

Folks, I think we’re wasting our breath/keystrokes here. OP seems to be a PaR. Post and Run.

Most of us wouldn’t invite a known Vegetarian/Vegan friend to a meal without catering for them. All the rest of preaching and husband is froth and makes for a very flaky situation.

You’d be massively unreasonable to not either cater for her or allow her to bring her own food. Of course she’s not going to eat what’s provided if she’s vegan and she’s offered to bring her own so you don’t need to worry about what she’ll eat. Your DH is being a dickhead on the matter.

She would be unreasonable if she does do any vegan preaching whilst at the BBQ.

Also, unsure on the relevance of her being child-free?

Come on be honest. Your husband is worried that your friend will cook up a fantastic dish that will outshine whatever you are providing. Let her bring her own.

You DH is being unreasonable. Her just eating her vegan food will not put anyone off their food. She is only unreasonable if she goes on about veganism to anyone who hasn't asked.

I was going to say your DH was unreasonable and of course she should be able to bring her own food, but then you mentioned she is child-free. Seems only reasonable she should be made to eat meat or sit it out in these circumstances.

Your DH is being a dick. your friend is being perfectly reasonable to bring her own food!

Clearly a couple who think they have the perfect life/views and can’t cope with anyone who doesn’t abide by their life rules. The sort with #bekind, “thoughts and prayers” and “we’re so inclusive” posts all over SM.

Why on earth did you have to mention she has no children? You obviously think that is a very significant thing to state - in this case, both you and your DH are in the wrong- him for his statement, you for your post.

Ah so you want to ostracise her because she thinks differently- what’s your views on why the OP included the irrelevant info her friend was child free. Do you think there’s any judgement going on there? It sounds like the OP didn’t offer any vegan food so the friend said she would bring her own. By the sounds of the husband she probably would trust him not to contaminate it “for a laugh”. Unfortunately, as many vegans here attest, it’s usually non vegans who launch into a diatribe, mindlessly buying into stereotypes, demanding explanations for dietary choices, then when you do explain that’s suddenly the vegan being opinionated and mouthing off.

Do you generally have a problem with people who are different to you? Veganism is an ethical philosophy protected under the equality act as held by case law if that person holds an ethical perspective on it. Which other categories of people protected under the equality act do you have issues with and want to uninvited from social gatherings?

Your husbands being a tosspot, shes not even asking you to buy anything for her (which I dont see why you shouldnt personally if you're providing for everyone else) shes willing to bring her own.

Are you suggesting she eats before she comes or something since she wont be able to eat anything you provide?

😂 We have vegan friends, and we did the entire barbecue vegan, and did some 'real' burgers and sausages in the oven if people were desperate for meat. Most people didn't even notice until they realised they were eating the same burgers as 'Danny and Clare', who they know are vegan.

You're hosting. It's your job to make sure there's food for her to eat.

It is not an issue over the pond. Most people in the UK would absolutely cater for vegetarian/vegan friends. The OP is in the minority here.

Your husband is an arsehole and clearly has a guilty conscience about eating animals and taking it out on her

I am totally confused by this, can't see any issue with her bringing her own food but if I was doing the catering I would be including some veggie stuff that would be fine for vegans too. The other thing that confuses me is what does the fact she doen't have any kids got to do with it?

This. OP yabu not to provide food your guests will eat.

There's so much ignorance and intolerance in that post it's difficult to know where to start.

Bit off not to provide food she can eat if you want her to attend.

100%. I'm not vegan but my DH is. He's never preached about it and couldn't care less what other people eat, me included yet it's always when people find out that the stupid comments start, no doubt when he's forced to explain why he doesn't want to eat animal products these people then feel like they're being judged, despite the fact they're the ones banging on about it not him. Pisses me off on his behalf!

That aside I feel like this is just an obviously goady OP trying to start arguments!