To tell a child-free friend not to bring a vegan meal to my BBQ?

If she had kids it would be fine to tell her, but obviously her not having them means that it would be completely unreasonable to. Or something like that.

Alternatively, if you invite her, you need to cater for her. Where is she planning to cook her vegan food? Presumably not on the same barbecue as the carnivores' food. If she starts preaching, tell her to stop, that everyone knows her views and doesn't need to hear them.

Although on balance, I don't think this is real and is designed to get MN frothing on a Sunday.

• preachy vegan at a barbecue
• child free
• blatantly unreasonable DH

Reverse surely??

when I host, if there is a vegan coming, I always make sure I have a vegan/veggie option. The same with guests that have intolerances (chosen or medical). My dad has been vegan for years and even on Christmas Day I do a whole extra nut roast and separate potatoes etc.

No idea what being child-free has to do with anything.

I'd let her bring her own food, I don't see any harm with that at all. If her tupperware dish takes the spotlight and attention from your BBQ then your food needs work.

That aside, I can't imagine hosting a friend and not catering for her. It wouldn't be difficult to knock up a plate of nice vegan food just for her..

You both sound a bit dim, and unpleasant, to be honest.

Vegan and child free.
Drip feed wll be she parks in p&c spaces at Tesco.

I don't see the issue of your friend bringing her own food. She knows she won't be able to eat much of the food, so therefore is bringing her own. She's also not expecting you to cater for her dietary requirements either, which some people would do. I think your husband is being rather silly. If she is 'preachy' regarding her views, people don't need to take on her views, just be polite and respect she has a different view to you. Of course, if she can't respect others opinions/views, that's an entirely different situation.

Your H sounds like a complete arse - is he usually thick and crass? Or do you actually enable him, as you seem to be off on one about being child free - is this some sort of crime against BBQs?

You might find that a lot of guests would welcome some vegan options. I am not vegan but like to moderate my animal fat intake and love vegan options.

Is there history of her talking about meat while people are trying to eat? If not he's being unreasonable.
If she's got track record I'd speak to her and say no conversations about meat, and if she still does it I wouldn't invite her again.

Absolutely this. We cater for vegan, Celiacs and a nut allergy when we host a big bbq. People might contribute snacks but we provide the bulk of the food.

Your friend sounds lovely, bringing her own food. I’d make something vegan for her as well, maybe a side or a dessert, so she feels included. Not sure why her child-status is relevant here.

Regardless, tell your DH to do one. Obviously he just doesn’t like her and clearly doesn’t want her spouting her views on eating (very bloody tasty) dead meat while he’s serving up sausages and burgers to the other guests in case it puts them off (it would be a conversation-killer!). I kinda understand that but the way he’s put it is unnecessarily rude.

Why is her being child free relevant to her beliefs and what she eats?

Your DH is a dick. I used to be a vegan. If someone told me I couldn't being my own food to an event where I wasn't being catered for I wouldn't bother going. I'd also seriously reconsider the friendship. What if it was an allergy? I'm a meat eater again now (health reasons, I still hate animal cruelty), but I'm Coeliac. So any gluten would make me quite ill. In her shoes I just wouldn't bother.

Exactly

So she's saving you the bother of having to cater for her separately and you guys are annoyed by that. Wow.

Mind you, fair play to the OP.

It's been ages since we've had a vegan bashing thread on MN.

They used to come along like buses 🚌🚌🚌

You know she was vegan yet you invited her to a BBQ! Had you intended to cook vegan food for her?

Your h is being rude and an arse. You obviously can’t make her eat meat!

I agree with the first comment your DH is a dick.

ive never felt bad for eating meat in front of vegans or vegetarians, they have their life choices I have mine.

Mist vegan/vegetarians I know prefer to bring their own food due to cross contamination.

Also agree don’t know why child free is in the post.

Finally if she’s preaching too much tell her but as long as she’s not causing upset I’d let her get on with it.

YOUR DH IS A DICK.

Yep not sure why her being child free is relevant or is she a pity invite for that reason?

Your DH is being an idiot. The two choices are either - you provide a fully vegan option or she brings her own food. Clearly it’s easier for her to bring own food.

Bringing her own food is fine. I suspect your dh might not like your friend.

Sanctimonious preaching about veganism to people who are eating meat is at best annoying at worst downright rude. Not my idea of a fun party.

YABVU. She's offering to bring her own food and not expecting you to provide her with anything, which you should btw if you are hosting.

Your husband sounds like a stroppy child and you don't sound like a very good friend either for considering what he's saying.
What on earth has her being child free got to do with anything?

Simple

Disposable BBQs are very cheap.