To tell a child-free friend not to bring a vegan meal to my BBQ?

This
But your friend will also be out of order if she starts pontificating about slaughtering animals etc whilst your other guests are tucking into hotdogs, burger etc.
Perhaps you need to have a word with her beforehand and if she does start on her soap box simply chuck her out…….sorted!

Surely you are providing vegan food for her - after asking what she likes / prefers.

and surely dh will be cooking it on a different bbq.

She shouldn't have to bring her own food at all because if you invited her you should be making sure there are some options she can eat.

I can't believe you're actually not sure about this

Your husband is a dick

You should be providing something vegan if you are inviting a vegan. She should bring something vegan to share (assuming you are a good host and she is a good guest)

If you don’t like her then YABU to invite her in the first place

If you do like her then what the actual fuck are you talking about

cringing at what a dick your husband is

Tell her to bring her own BBQ as well.
She'll make a fuss about her stuff being contaminated by being in contact with grill plates that might have meat juices on them.

You should be providing her with food. I would never expect a vegan guest to bring their own food. She clearly knows you’re not a great host otherwise she wouldn’t have suggested it.

Agreed. And another one wondering what this has to do with your friend’s child-free status?

I agree. And if you invite her you should cater for her.

Of course, she can bring her own food. She is being polite not demanding you cater for her, probably because she knows your Dh is a big twat.

We literally raise and eat our own animals. When I have vegan/vegetarian guests, I cater the whole thing as vegan/vegetarian. It’s polite and I can happily eat some lentils or halloumi. In fact, even living on a farm, we only eat meat maybe 3-4 meals a week anyway.

The solutions for that include not inviting her, or speaking to her nicely about it before hand. Not being ungracious hosts.

Staggeringly rude behaviour.

I’d be interested to know how ‘preachy’ she actually is. Hosts this rude and unused to a fairly mainstream eating pattern now may not be the best judges.

"To quick to say yes"
You're very selfish, as is your DH.
My Dsis is a vocal vegan, I'm vegetarian, the rest are meat eaters, Dsis wouldn't bring her own food, because I'd provide a vegan meal for her, most of the meat eaters play back, if she starts, overly enjoying the meat, so it balances out.

Most people who are vegetarian/vegan and offer to bring their own food to a bbq etc. do it, not to be ‘rude’. but because they think it might make life easier for the hosts.
Also, it’s almost like you think her being child-free is why she’s able to indulge her little eccentricities. You can have children and also be vegan, in case you hadn’t realised. Who knew?!

I eat meat but I think your DH is awful. I don't think you're much better to be even considering telling her she can't bring her own food.

Yep, agree that your dh is being a dick.

Goodness you’re extremely rude hosts! Just tell you’re cancelling if you’re this rude! Not only not catering to her but then thinking it might be ok to tell her she can’t even cater to herself!

I’d be mortified to be such a poor host.

It is rude of you to invite someone with dietary needs and not cater for them. She is being polite heading this off and bringing her own and that isn’t enough for your DH?

who sounds awfuk

If she’s preachy about it then I’m with your dh. Why aren’t people seeing that’s what his issue is?

Do you think there's something wrong with her because she doesn't have kids and doesn't eat meat? Some friend you and DH are.

Of course it's polite she offered to bring her own. She clearly knew you weren't going to be catering for her. It's not hard to provide something for vegans at a BBQ. You can get a £2 disposable one and use that to cook veg kebabs or whatever.

Your husband sounds horrible and I feel bad for your poor friend.

Your husband is just plain nasty.

Your other friends are perfectly capable of handling topics of conversation that might be different to her lifestyle and he doesn’t need to set himself up as knowing better than everyone else.

I would invite your lovely friend and tell your husband to go out for the day or better still not come back.

🤔

I cannot get my head around the whole child-free thing. Bizarre. I can’t wait for OP to come back and explain why she thought that was relevant 🍿

Op, your friend shouldn’t have to bring her own food. You should be providing it for her. Your husband is an embarrassment.

I’d be starving and pissed off if that was all I was offered. If you can’t be arsed catering for me, ( or at least give me a heads up to bring my own), don’t invite me.

I’ve only ever once had this happen. All I was given was the sides of boiled peas and boiled rice, whilst everyone else tucked into hearty moussaka. I was bloody starving all evening.

Yep! This sums up pretty much everything I was thinking, but much more succinctly!

How considerate of your friend, offering to bring her own food so her hosts don't have to cater for her dietary requirements. If I invited my vegan friend round, I would expect to provide her with a vegan meal.

Your DH is a complete twat. He seriously thinks you should invite your friend to a party and say "sorry, I know you're vegan and that's really important to you but either you eat this burger or you're not welcome in my home"?