To tell a child-free friend not to bring a vegan meal to my BBQ?

Why are you not telling your husband he’s being ridiculous and of course she’s welcome to bring her own food? What does he expect her to do - rock up and down a sausage because she’s ever so grateful you invited her, despite the fact she’s childfree?? Frankly, you know she’s vegan you should have made provisions for her, it’s not uncommon nowadays and lots of meat eaters like vegan options. Also, you obviously have an issue with her being child free as it’s not relevant to the question at all and it’s not why she’s vegan. Have a look at your own attitude towards your friend.

I was wondering that

Your DH is a horrible bully.

Your DH is being a dick, I assume he doesn’t like her. Just ask her not to bang on about animal rights if you really must (and she does indeed start banging on). Ps intrigued - why mention her being child free? Do you suddenly cease to be able to be vegan if you reproduce? Asking for a confused friend..

Your husband is a complete wanker, thoughts and prayers at this difficult time.

If you know your friend is vegan you’re being very shit hosts to not provide something she can eat in the first place.

From most dickish to the least in this scenario:

1- your DH (although it was a close call)
2- you for your needlessly judgy and totally irrelevant “child free” reference
3 - your friend - slightly annoying with the preaching although seems pretty nice to bring her own stuff so you don’t have to cater for her prefs

Your husband is a prick.

Bringing her own food is fine.
Lecturing others, absolutely not.

I don't want to hear anyone's views on not eating meat.

DH is very unreasonable.

But also - can’t you cater for the veggies / vegans? Some yummy salads and a veggie burger or two?

Your DH is being an arse. What vegan options were you planning to provide for her? Or weren’t you planning to cater for all of your guests? In which case would you prefer she goes without?

if she wangs on about veganism while people are enjoying their food I would tell her to can it.

Your DH is being an arse. What vegan options were you planning to provide for her? Or weren’t you planning to cater for all of your guests? In which case would you prefer she goes without?

if she wangs on about veganism while people are enjoying their food I would tell her to can it.

It’s not a rare point of view no, but it’s really not appropriate to be banging on about it at a barbecue.

She can eat what she wants, as can everyone else, without her preaching.

I have a vegan relative and I wouldn’t dream of inviting him and not providing vegan food along side the meat option. I find non vegans enjoy bean chilli and veg curry too, and it’s great as left overs, so I make loads. Sounds like your DH doesn’t like your friend.

And this. Your husband is an arsehole. You're both actually bad hosts for not catering for the guests you invite. Do you even want her there? Because it doesn't sound like it.

How are you going to word not letting her bring her own food?

Another vote for your husband being a dick l’m afraid, sorry. She’s vegan and unless you provide the food for her and cook it separately she won’t be able to eat anything. So bringing her own is far from rude - she’s actually doing you a favour. I’d shut down any preaching about dead animals or the like - a barbecue is the last place for that and to that end l agree with your DH that it may put people off, so l’d be sorting that beforehand. Can l ask why you weren’t offering a vegan option for her ? Did she offer to bring her own food immediately on you inviting her ? I guess what l’m getting at is whether your DH objected to catering for her because it sounds as though he doesn’t like her very much.

TBF if she is as serious about her veganism as she sounds then she might be reluctant to eat the food provided by the hosts in case of cross contamination. For example, she might not want her vegan sausage, or whatever,cooked on the same grill as the meat.

I would have no problem providing vegan alternatives or letting her bring her own.

What I would have a problem with was if she got preachy to other guests and would try to shut that down if it happened. After all, it's a BBQ. She must be expecting to be surrounded by people eating meat .

Wtf does her not having kids have to do with anything?

Your DH does not really understand what "hosting" means. If you invite someone to eat at your home you try to provide food they will enjoy. It's also customary to bring a food contribution to a bbq and isn't a judgement on the hosts' catering. I have had friends on quite restricted diets bring their own food to a party and was just glad of their company.

Your DH is being an arse. What vegan options were you planning to provide for her? Or weren’t you planning to cater for all of your guests? In which case would you prefer she goes without?

if she wangs on about veganism while people are enjoying their food I would tell her to can it.

I’d not invite her. She clearly isn’t welcome so do her a favour and let her spend time with people who like her. Vegans that go on about if can be mildly annoying but if she’s coming to a bbq she’s presumably not stupid and knows they’ll be lots of meat so doesn’t have an issue.

This is awful.
you should be providing some food for her. It’s not hard to grill some veg fist, a pack of veggie sausages. Loads of bread is vegan anyway. A good host doesn’t exclude friends.

if your friend is bringing her own food then it is wild to try to force her to eat meat! Your husband is vile. It’s not exactly a really rare point of view that killing sentient beings to eat is not ideal is it.

What is your husband thinking? I actually can’t get it!