To tell a child-free friend not to bring a vegan meal to my BBQ?

@Miyagi99, you're vegan and you eat halloumi???

I agree with this. I think you should be grateful she's bringing her own food and making the effort.

I’m not vegan but it would be no trouble at all for me to make something available for vegan guests. He’s a meanie.

I think you should be providing food for her. You have guests and cater to them. However I'd be annoyed if she sat talking about veganism all day. There's literally nothing more boring than a vegan.

YABVU to invite someone you know is vegan to an event you're hosting and not provide her with a meal she can eat.

I would never dream of inviting people to my house and not providing for allergies and other dietary requirements (vegetarian/vegan).

Hang on, is she one of those vegans?

going on about lentil sausages and dead animals ... Tbh she can be a bit preachy

Obviously you can't make her eat meat - and you really should provide some tofu, falafel and whatever. But if DH's point is really that she's a pain in the arse, he might not be wrong.

I have no idea what being childfree has to do with it

No, he’s being a prick. If she was that militant she wouldn’t attend at all. I don’t eat meat and often take some food to a bbq because I wouldn’t expect them to cater for me (although more often than not they do). When I was a meat eater I’d take food and drink to a bbq anyway, not just for me, for anyone that fancies it. If there’s a separate part to the grill she might be up for veggie skewers but I know some people don’t want their food anywhere near meat (I’m not fussy, through my halloumi, veggie burgers and skewers on anywhere!).

Your DH is an idiot. A vegan at a bbq 😂. I always decline bbq’s and dinner parties now because I much prefer to go to a restaurant.

Why as hosts are you & your dp not catering for all your guests including those with specific dietary requirements? You both sound like intolerant boots tbh, you going on about her being child free & him wanting to uninvite her because she's vegan.

If I am inviting a vegan, I make sure there is vegan food for them. She is being very obliging to bring her own. Not sure what being childfree has to do with it.

Obviously not real but I’ll bite.

Whats her bring child free got to do with it?

Why would you invite someone who is vocally against eating meat to a BBQ?

Why would you not provide a vegan option?

Why does she have to sit there and not eat anything?

Why do you listen to your DH even though he’s obviously very thick?

Why would you be so thick as to need other peoples opinions on it.

And most of all, do you think we’re that stupid?

Not read the rest of the thread but first answer nails it.

So, wait, she doesn't get to eat that day?

Lecturing has NOTHING to do with what she eats. If she lectures people let them speak up and tell her to shut up if it bothers them.

Your husband just wants to punish her because he disagrees with her stance.

Tell him to message her if he wants to be a nasty twat. You're not his gopher.

Don't see what being child free has to do with anything.

If she is genuinely going to sit there and lecture other people on their meat eating then yeah, obviously she shouldn't do that and should be picked up on it.

If it's what it sounds like, that she wants to be included without being any trouble to meat-eating hosts, then she sound like a really nice and considerate friend, and of course she should come!

My mum and brother are vegetarian, and when we have BBQs at ours, we cook our meat on the BBQ and they bring theirs ready to cook in an oven dish and shove it in the oven. They never make a fuss about it, everyone is happy!

It’s just froth-bait.

Because us Childfree types are seen as weird and something to be othered?

It goes against the status quo so its just another thing to be negative about "oh she's VEGAN, you know what they're like!
Oh she's childfree , you know how preachy they can get!

To stir up more froth.

Why is she child-free?
Might you have provided some vegan food if she had children?

YABVU, especially posting with child free title, what's being Vegan to do with child. Ridiculous!

You should provide vegan food. Oh and your husband is a total twat

Provide a vegan option and she won’t need to bring her own.

Your dh sounds horrible and you are almost as bad for not telling him how ridiculous he is.

Is the child free comment in case parents are put off their own dc if she mentions that she doesn’t have children?

I’m vegan myself. She’s not expecting you to accommodate her by asking you provide her food which is kind of her but it shouldn’t be like that. You know she’s vegan, you’re providing food for everyone else so it’s not hard to get some vegan burgers or sausages. Birds Eye do cheap vegan burgers or beyond, this isn’t even Tesco own brand. I don’t see how you can accommodate everyone else but not her? She’s ensuring people don’t go out of the way for her yet you’re literally making it an issue that she shouldn’t have vegan food and go hungry??? Your husband is projecting his thoughts about vegans onto someone who’s doing nothing wrong and not forcing you to buy her food or anything. You’re weird.

in my experience as a vegan, we have a lot of people comment on our food saying ‘it looks disgusting’, ‘how can you eat rabbit food’. Then make the entire conversation about being vegan like ‘why are you vegan’, ‘no wonder you’re skinny’, ‘you’re not getting the nutrients’, ‘do you not miss bacon’. Then when we retaliate by replying to comments that other people bring up, suddenly WE are preachy???? Most of us mind our business and people are just commenting on us and make us being vegan a big issue. So I think you’re likely confusing her being preachy as her replying to comments made to her

I don’t think it’s this straightforward to be honest. I have a few vegan friends and l provide vegan side dishes and salads at barbecues, but they prefer to bring their own mains because they don’t want their food cooked with equipment used for meat.

Just cater for her - really not that hard, do a couple of vegan salads (or a vegan version of another salad you would be making anyway i.e. minus meat/cheese etc), pack of vegan burgers (v easy to find in supermarkets), roast veggies (sweetcorn, peppers etc) and some vegan buns (also not that difficult to find!). Add crisps and hummus and that's plenty.

She should of course bring her own food. I would have a word with her before the bbq however and ask her to go easy on the proselytizing on veganism as you want people to enjoy their food.