To tell a child-free friend not to bring a vegan meal to my BBQ?

You for mentioning childfree: dickish
Your husband for thinking the friend should eat non-vegan food: dickish
Friend for preaching: dickish

Everyone needs to grow up and learn about being a good host and a good guest.

Is friend preachy out of the blue, unrelated to the conversation at hand etc, or is she preachy when provoked by twattery from your husband, or when she's challenged on why she's vegan or confronted by stupid 'gotchas' from idiots?

Bet it is this. That's certainly been my experience.

Yawn. Try harder

First post nails it. Your husband sounds like an awful individual. Or he’s not very bright.

Is he actually suggesting she should eat meat or dairy when she’s a vegan? Or would he happy for her to just stand there and eat nothing?

You state she can’t eat what’s provided so I’m assuming he isn’t planning to make sure there is plenty of vegan food available. Therefore what’s the problem in her bringing her own food?

I can’t imagine why anyone would object to anyone wanting to bring their own food to a BBQ, whether it’s halal, veggie, vegan or they just want to bring their own stuff? Surely that’s actually being helpful and a considerate guest if anything.

Why would you try and prevent that?

You husband is a prick. And so is anyone who talks about vegans 'lecturing'. I'm not a vegan in practice but they are entirely correct. And I'm so thankful i took the time to speak to one lad who was doing outreach. Fair enough, a barbeque might not be the best place to say anything but there's nothing to say she would. Unless asked. In which case I hope she does speak on it.

Is your husband this much of a dick about every woman he meets or just vegans?

If he wants to talk rudeness, not supplying food all your guests can eat and decreeing people should eat and whatever he, King Twat, decides, is the height of rudeness.

And what, exactly, does your friend being child free have to do with the question? I’m guessing you hoped pointing out how lacking she is compared to your intended audience, would get more people on your side?

You sound like a pair of insufferable, judgemental dicks. On that basis alone she should stay well away from your bbq.

Your husband is a moron with no manners.

Actually you both sound like a bit of prick, your husband more so. If I had a friend like you who can't be arsed to cater for some common dietary requirements, I wouldn't bother with them ever.

YABVVVVU being friends with a childfree vegan.
Friends with a childfree person - fine. Friends with a vegan - fine. but childfree AND vegan - that’s a huge no no

You cannot knowingly invite a vegan and deliberately not cater for her. That’s terrible hosting!

But even worse is expecting her to come without even allowing her to bring her own food.

If she preaches then absolutely shut that down, but that’s a totally different issue. I think your guests will be far more uncomfortable sitting and watching someone with no food than watching her eat ‘lentil sausages’.

Exactly , i have 2 family members who have been vegan long before it became popular , its no big deal we all accommodate them ,there are plenty of vegan options that aren't speciality foods.
Would you not invite them if they had a food allergy ?
Don't know how not having kids is relevant either.

Your husband doesn’t sound very nice. Quite rude, in fact.

You're married to an arsehole.

Well your husband is a massive prick... ugh.

Is friend preachy out of the blue, unrelated to the conversation at hand etc, or is she preachy when provoked by twattery from your husband, or when she's challenged on why she's vegan or confronted by stupid 'gotchas' from idiots?

I would invite vegan friend - use a disposable bbq for her stuff and supply some vegan bits and bobs and she can bring her preferred meat substitutes.

And send your 'D'H to somewhere far far away, as his attitude is far more repellent than hers!

going on about lentil sausages and dead animals ... Tbh she can be a bit preachy

In all my 66 years on the planet, many of which when I was vegetarian, and now eating about 95% vegan, and specifically avoiding certain animal products for ethical reasons I've never actually met one of those.

I have however met many " oh go on a wee taste of "[whatever it is they know I don't eat]

Your friend shouldn’t be preachy at your bbq but you should cater for her.

Personally I wouldn’t want to come to your bbq or be your friend

I'm going to assume your DH has first hand experience of her being "a bit preachy". If he knows for a fact she's going to be berating people for eating meat and harassing them to try her vegan crap then he's absolutely right.

Or maybe she did eat them but having found them hard to digest despite them being free range has since gone vegan.

She definitely should be able to bring her own food if you don’t plan to cater for her needs (also easier for you than having to go out and get vegan specific food) but I wouldn’t allow the preachy comments on what others are eating. I would nip that in the bud right away. “Yes sally we know your feelings on eating meat now please let people eat in peace.”

👏

YABU. Would your DH be moaning if it was a religious restriction? At least her views have some basis in logic.

also fail to understand why her parental status is in any way relevant.

I’m a meat eater, and quite happy to provide for vegan friends when l’m hosting. But going vegan is their choice and l’m not willing to be lectured on mine. It’s not about being unable to take hearing about meat being dead animals. It’s about not having other peoples’ life choices and beliefs rammed down your throat in such a way as to deliberately put you off your food, at a barbecue where meat is the main event. Turning up and then ruining the occasion for others is beyond rude.

How bloody rude is your DH?! I’m vegetarian, all my friends and family will do veggie food for me if they invite me for a BBQ. I would be happy to bring my own, but they all offer. Your DH clearly doesn’t like your friend very much.

Not sure how bored someone has to be to fabricate a click bait story on MN. Surely, it’s time to light the bbq?