To tell a child-free friend not to bring a vegan meal to my BBQ?

Yeah, you're right and like a fool I got drawn in.

I'm going to have to stay away from Mumsnet for my own sanity as it seems like so many of the threads on here are like this these days. Obviously Mumsnet mods and owner don't give a shit as long as the money keeps rolling in.

Bringing own food is fine, preaching isnt.

I would be happy if she brough her own food if it was something I wasnt familiar with and wouldnt be sure its something she would eat.

Your DH seems to have an existing problem with her. Has she said something before about his eating meat to offend him?

Really as a host you should be providing her with food and if it is going on the bbq then cook it first before any meat products 'contaminate' the grill. As friends you should both respect each other's views and way of life.

Either you provide to guests dietary needs or you let them bring along their own food. Given you are hosting you should be doing the former really.

@BBQDramaQueen

This. Nothing else. Just this. ⬆️

Friend bringing her own food is surely not the issue here.
Your husband is an ass if he thinks she can simply eat what you provide, presumably no vegan choice. 2nd issue is friend need to realise, and if necessary be told, that no preaching is welcome. Child-free I agree is irrelevant

It sounds like you are not really her friend, why did you invite her to.a meat feast if you knew she is vegan and you were not going to provide a meat free alternative? And what does her not having children have to do with anything?

A vegan would only eat their young if said child had consented.

There's the salad

DH is being an idiot. More worrying is that you initially did the right thing, then a quick word from your idiot husband and you are doubting yourself. Does this happen often? The mum is being thoughtful and respectful by not even expecting you to cater for her. Perhaps stop listening to your husband.

If she’s your friend and you want her there, then you & your husband should do what it takes to be welcoming hosts.

Bloody hell it’s hard enough being vegan & friends having barbecues without said ‘friends’ not even allowing you to bring your own food.

Why is your husband such an utter arsehole? Is this indicative of other behaviour? He sounds like a controlling knobhead.

As an aside, if anyone is put off the idea of eating meat when they confront the idea that it’s a dead animal, they probably shouldn’t be eating meat!

Maybe your OH is in denial that he’s uncomfortable with his own choices.

Your DH is a dick.

but also if you’re providing food for the others, you should be catering to her dietary requirements.

I think it's rude to ask someone to a catered event and not provide food they can eat.

It would be really rude to refuse that they bring their own food if you're not providing any, or uninvited her

Actually you're almost certainly right. Unfortunately it pushed my buttons. Sigh.

The OP is as big a knob as her imaginary husband if this is the case.

Your husband's take on this is extraordinary.

At the very least, you should allow her to bring her own food.

But as others have said, as a host who has invited her, knowing she is vegan, I really feel it's on you to ensure there is at least some stuff on offer she can eat.

I am hosting a picnic soon and have one friend coming who is vegetarian and will not eat anything she sees a UPF (and her views on this are fairly strict - will not eat shop bought bread for example).

I have gone through the menu carefully to ensure there are at least one item in each category (one main, one salad, one dip etc) that she can eat. Doesn't mean the whole thing has to be veggie and made from scratch, but I am making sure there will be sufficient, offered by me, that she can make a meal of.

She is also very welcome to contribute her own dishes of course, I am hoping several people may choose to do so as variety is always nice, tho I am not demanding it.

Out of interest, will your husband be angry if other guests bring food to the BBQ? Or just her?

Does everything at the BBQ contain animal products? What is the salad? Lard?

Quite clearly a rage baiting post. Ignore and report.

Again- does this ever actually happen?

Goodness, as a childless single woman I knew I was a bit of a pariah, but thanks for confirming it. I never realised that what we scale ridden childless singletons could earn extra pariah points from what we chose to eat/not eat though.

Your "DH" sounds like an absolute knob.

How awful! Of course she should be allowed to bring her own food.

Agreed.

OP, your husband is a twat. Make a vegan stew served with bread rolls. I did 5l of it for a party we had and there was none left by the end of it: only one person was vegan!

@Brickiscool

just the one sausage? Anything else??

@QuantumLampshader

what exactly is your issue with vegans??

p.s I bet as a meat eater your farts smell much worse 🤢

If she is going to eat her own food without drawing attention to herself then fine. If she is going to mouth off amd be preachy that would be really rude and uncomfortable for other guests and she shouldn't come.