I booked a lunch to celebrate my birthday and invited a few friends. One friend had been very physically ill the week leading up to it and was still on morphine for pain. The night before the meal, her grandma died after a long illness.
I wanted to give her an 'out' as a lunch out celebrating someone's birthday might be the last thing she wanted to do. It was going to be difficult enough physically for her.
She is a people pleaser and will go along with things then moan about them later. When she messaged to say she was still coming, I said she's been through a lot and maybe its not a good idea. I would come and see her instead. I thought this would make it easier to drop out if she wanted.
She messaged ok and hasn't replied, even though she's clearly been on WhatsApp since. Was IBU to send her an out message?