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Original poster

Nursery hand over comment. Would you complain?

283 replies

Evelyynn · 13/07/2025 00:11

Btw I’m not the parent. Or the nursery practitioner.

If your child was handed over to you, and the practitioner said ‘’we’ve had to have a chat with childs name today, as she hasn’t been using kind words to staff and has had a bit of an attitude’’. Would this be something you’d complain the manager about, the use of the word ‘attitude’? The child is 3.

OP posts:
TaranFollt · 13/07/2025 08:05

I think your friend is focusing on the word 'attitude' as a distraction. If another word was used, I'm minded to think that she would've pounced on that to complain. Your friend seems upset with the nursery for mentioning that the daughter's behaviour is an issue. This upset has been turned back on the nursery worker as a form of attack/ defence.
If the word 'attitude' had been absent, we'd all be talking about another word in this thread.
This is essentially about your friend not being able to take feedback. She's marking her territory. This could lead to other nursery workers being reticent to mention your friend's child's behaviour in the future. It may not be worth the hassle for them. Maybe your friend sort of knows this.

Lilactimes · 13/07/2025 08:00

god I would be mortified that my dc had behaved in such a way the nursery needed to point it out to me. I’d be wanting to discuss with them how to make things better.

WimpoleHat · 13/07/2025 07:58

Viviennemary · 13/07/2025 00:15

Well it's a bit kinder than annoying brat.

Exactly!

Yes, the wording is a bit casual - but I’d bet the underlying sentiment is that the child has been rude and uncooperative. Not everyone is comfortable with such direct criticism, so “attitude” is a cover for it. Fair enough for friend to ask for clarification as to what exactly was meant, but I wouldn’t see cause for complaint.

Hippee · 13/07/2025 07:57

slashlover · 13/07/2025 01:51

The next 15 years are going to be fun. Is she a PFB?

Agree. So pleased that I will have retired by the time they hit secondary. Already see far too much entitlement in some of our kids at school.

3teens2cats · 13/07/2025 07:55

It's actually quite difficult to word these things sometimes if you want the parents to understand that their child has actually behaved badly. Too much fluff about 'unkind words' and 'not making the best choices' can minimise things and dilute what you are trying to say. 3/4 year old are rude sometimes because that's the stage of development they are at. So for them to feel it's bad enough to raise it they must have been pretty awful. So your friend is better to focus on that.

Moglet4 · 13/07/2025 07:54

Nope. 3 year olds can have a terrible attitude and are old enough to be admonished for it.

AD1996 · 13/07/2025 07:53

I have a 3.5 DS, full of attitude so no I wouldn’t be making a complaint I would be trying to fix said attitude (which I am currently doing) your friend is the problem.

monkeysox · 13/07/2025 07:50

Evelyynn · 13/07/2025 00:15

It’s my friends child. She’s basically said that she’s put in a complaint to the manager about the wording. And has scheduled a parents evening with the room leader as she’s not happy about it at all

Omg. Imagine what she's going to be like at school. The parent, not the child. Ffs

BusWankers · 13/07/2025 07:47

She should only be arranging a meeting to work with the staff to sort out the child's poor behaviour and how they can all work together to nip the shitty behaviour in the bud.

Spirallingdownwards · 13/07/2025 07:44

I very much suspect your friend will become known as "that parent" from here on in.

Glitchymn1 · 13/07/2025 07:42

alexalisten · 13/07/2025 00:30

What would you of preferred little shit

^This.

Jennyathemall · 13/07/2025 07:40

CopperWhite · 13/07/2025 00:16

Your friend sounds like a nightmare parent who is going to raise a brat.

Yup

MoreChocPls · 13/07/2025 07:36

The kids sounds like a brat or acting up that day. The mum can’t complain but should deal with it and be a better parent.

MoominUnderWater · 13/07/2025 07:27

Can see where the 3yo gets it from.

Matronic6 · 13/07/2025 07:25

Your mate is one of those mums. There is nothing wrong with the word 'attitude.' She is pissed off that her daughter was criticised and is being petty.

Tubs11 · 13/07/2025 07:19

Evelyynn · 13/07/2025 00:15

It’s my friends child. She’s basically said that she’s put in a complaint to the manager about the wording. And has scheduled a parents evening with the room leader as she’s not happy about it at all

Your friend is beyond ridiculous! So she's going to waste staff time cause she didn't like the word attitude? Time that staff could otherwise spend planning a nice activity for the kids? Please tell her she's being THAT parent and to reign it in.

Rycbar · 13/07/2025 07:18

ShamrockShenanigans · 13/07/2025 00:18

Christ, I've never met a 3 year old who doesn't have attitude?!

If I was going to complain about anything, it'd be one adult saying to another "she hasn’t been using kind words".

I can feel a bit of sick in my throat at that patronising language 🤢

Remember, parents are not children.

Yeah but look what happens when you use adult appropriate language.
Majority of parents of young children can’t handle hearing their child has been rude/aggressive/defiant. So you have to dress it up ‘child friendly’ before you go in with the those words. Use phrases like kind words, kind hands, listening ears at multiple handovers and then they’re already prepared when you have to being in the ‘adult’ language.

Trust me. It’d be so much easier if you could just say what you mean!

Lioncub2020 · 13/07/2025 07:16

What a ridiculous thing to complain about! These are minimum wage staff handing over many children in a short period of time. The problem with being "that" parent is that when ever you might need the nursery to go above and beyond the core contract they probably won't.

Sera1989 · 13/07/2025 07:14

At least after the meeting the nursery staff will understand where the toddler gets their “attitude” from

Lafufufu · 13/07/2025 07:12

Your friend is a loon and a time waster.

1AngelicFruitCake · 13/07/2025 07:12

I wouldn’t have said ‘a bit of an attitude’, i
think it could have been explained better.

But complaining?! How ridiculous! Some 3 year olds are rude. They have either had it modelled to them or never been corrected at home.

Whenever I have something like this with a parent, and it’s often, I tell myself that they’ll be the ones struggling in the end as they’ll have to deal with the spoilt behaviour for years.

Cathmawr · 13/07/2025 07:10

My DD is 2 (and 3 months) and definitely has an attitude with me some days! I'd be mortified and VERY apologetic if she had an attitude at nursery

PhaseFour · 13/07/2025 07:08

Can you come back and tell us what you think, OP?

Allinarow48 · 13/07/2025 07:05

Evelyynn · 13/07/2025 00:15

It’s my friends child. She’s basically said that she’s put in a complaint to the manager about the wording. And has scheduled a parents evening with the room leader as she’s not happy about it at all

She sounds like a nightmare. The poor nursery staff.

Allinarow48 · 13/07/2025 07:04

Evelyynn · 13/07/2025 00:11

Btw I’m not the parent. Or the nursery practitioner.

If your child was handed over to you, and the practitioner said ‘’we’ve had to have a chat with childs name today, as she hasn’t been using kind words to staff and has had a bit of an attitude’’. Would this be something you’d complain the manager about, the use of the word ‘attitude’? The child is 3.

Why would she complain? They've, appropriately, alerted her to an attitude problem. Thats part of their job. It's now her job as a parent to address her daughters behaviour.

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