Nursery hand over comment. Would you complain?

Based upon what?

I wholeheartedly disagree.

Of course they are! Perhaps not always on purpose (though it often is), but they can be very rude and unpleasant. If you don't nip it in the bud they will continue to be rude and unpleasant.

No.

Your friend's being a real asshole because she doesn't like hearing her kid was being bratty, even in a diplomatic way. Her parenting is lacking.

No 3 year old is “rude” or “unpleasant”.

The other hundreds of children I’ve taught don’t seem to have thought so. Attitudes like yours are part of the problem in schools. Some children aren’t neurodiverse, aren’t struggling with the content, aren’t being bullied. Some, especially teenagers, are just naughty and/or lazy,

I suspect that the nursery worker would have liked to have said that the child was both rude, and unrepentant.

From time to time, at the end of a busy and tiring day, I understand that a practitioner may use such language; I wouldn't condone it, as it seems unprofessional to me, but I do understand it. However, I would also say that I suspect the behaviour has been ongoing and hasn't just been a single incident on a single day. If it was just one day, I suspect the nursery would have been tolerant and patient. Parents/carers are usually only approached when the behaviour is frequent. We also have to remember that nursery practitioners are often young, and are paid minimum wage. This may affect the calibre of workers recruited.

@Blessthismess2 Ridiculous permissive nonsense. You haven't raised a 3 year old have you?

Jesus wept - good luck at school. Issues already at nursery. Poor kid. Nothing wrong with attitude. Probably mum has the same one.

I’m really shocked that any early years practitioner would speak about a 3 year old’s “behaviour” in such a value laden and flattening way.

A three-year-old has v limited control over their behaviour, especially when it comes to strong emotions and impulses. Their brains simply aren’t developed enough to have the kind of deliberation and control for that. Of course children need to be guided and taught through calm and clear boundaries/ structure etc, but there is absolutely no place for labelling a child so young as having an “attitude”or “negative behaviour”. None.

As an early years practitioner we don’t tell parents half of what their child does, we only speak to a parent if it’s been an ongoing issue, if it’s affecting other children or if we are wanting to know if things have changed at home that may be contributing to the child’s behaviour.

3 year olds should still have boundaries, they shouldn’t be using unkind words etc.

Should we just ignore this behaviour or would you like to work with us to sort this negative behaviour?

how do you want an early years practitioner to deal with this situation if it was your child?

She doesn't have an issue with her child's bratty behaviour, just with the staff member who pointed it out?

Excellent.

Still, that sort of terminology wouldn't make it onto a factual report 'by any measure' because it is an opinion. Perhaps your teaching style was uninteresting?

Jesus. What is the problem?

Most reasonable parents would prefer that. Normally, there would also be suggestions for areas of improvement - but these had to be written in a positive manner.

By the time we reach the stage of "...can work well when he chooses to do so..." I can assure you that the parents are well aware of their teenager's behavioural issues. No, I'm not talking about neurodivergence. By 'behavioural issues', I mean that John is a violent thug.

Attitude = "won't do as she's told/asked", right?
Little kids have to be generally cooperative with adults, it's something they all have to learn.

Being a nursery worker, I'd say this is entirely appropriate, some 3 year olds are awful and at least she didn't say they were being a little shit, your friend will be known as the parent none of the staff wants to deal with.

It's a very diplomatic way of saying a child is being a bit bratty. That's what 3 year olds do though. My dd2 was so bloody sassy she was the literal embodiment of a threenager! My DGD is the same. Your friend is being ridiculous.

That's terrible! I'd prefer to know what can be improved on.

Yes I had to do that too. It’s very frustrating, as are comment banks in general!

Well i did actually qualify it with ‘in my subject’ in which he was, by any measure, bone idle.

I worked in Scottish secondaries for 40 years. For the about the last 30 yrs I was only allowed to put positive comments in reports.

As I've said on other threads, I sometimes had to resort to "John can work well when he chooses to do so."

If you have a child of a similar age to your friend's child, OP, I would slowly start backing away from the friendship....

'Bone idle' isn't the truth, it's an opinion. It's unfactual and subjective. A teacher should know that, surely?