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Original poster

Nursery hand over comment. Would you complain?

283 replies

Evelyynn · 13/07/2025 00:11

Btw I’m not the parent. Or the nursery practitioner.

If your child was handed over to you, and the practitioner said ‘’we’ve had to have a chat with childs name today, as she hasn’t been using kind words to staff and has had a bit of an attitude’’. Would this be something you’d complain the manager about, the use of the word ‘attitude’? The child is 3.

OP posts:
Supergirl1958 · 13/07/2025 16:18

Blessthismess2 · 13/07/2025 14:44

I actually can’t even get my head around thinking a toddler was “rude”. Imagine taking offence at something a toddler does or says for not following the conventions of politeness 😂. Some people are so very odd.

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A three year old (who may be going to school in September) is not a toddler!!

2chocolateoranges · 13/07/2025 16:16

Blessthismess2 · 13/07/2025 16:06

Are you a nursery practitioner?
I’m really shocked at this type of attitude to toddlers .
Of course toddlers can be violent and bite. They are toddlers.

Edited
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I am an early years worker and a damn good one too. I work hard at my job, I’m kind, patient, loving and caring and treat each child in my care like one of my own.

No parent or colleague or boss has ever had anything negative to say about my practice at work.

A 3 year old is not a toddler! A 3year old is perfectly capable of following instructions and listening to boundaries and guidance.

My 2 both went to school at 4 years old, they have been brought up with good guidance, good morals and good behaviour boundaries.

thankful for the amazing young adults they have turned into.

Supergirl1958 · 13/07/2025 16:14

Blessthismess2 · 13/07/2025 14:11

I’m really shocked that any early years practitioner would speak about a 3 year old’s “behaviour” in such a value laden and flattening way.

A three-year-old has v limited control over their behaviour, especially when it comes to strong emotions and impulses. Their brains simply aren’t developed enough to have the kind of deliberation and control for that. Of course children need to be guided and taught through calm and clear boundaries/ structure etc, but there is absolutely no place for labelling a child so young as having an “attitude”or “negative behaviour”. None.

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Really? Honestly, just wow! 😱

Blessthismess2 · 13/07/2025 16:06

Feeling grateful for my childcare arrangements today.

Blessthismess2 · 13/07/2025 16:06

2chocolateoranges · 13/07/2025 15:59

I can assure you they can be, rude, unpleasant, cheeky and even violent.

ive been bitten, spat on, kicked, hit I was even called a fucking bitch last week too, all off of a just tuned 4 year old. . A 3 and 4 year old with a temper who has never heard the word no at home isn’t pleasant.

come do my job for a day and you’ll see how tolerant staff are, I’m sure this practitioner who spoke to mum had been dealing with this 3 year olds behaviour for the full day. A one off is never mentioned to parents, continuous behaviour is spoken to parents about.

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Are you a nursery practitioner?
I’m really shocked at this type of attitude to toddlers .
Of course toddlers can be violent and bite. They are toddlers.

2chocolateoranges · 13/07/2025 16:03

I can also hand on heart say neither of my children when aged 3 would have been rude or unpleasant to an adult but there are 3 year olds who are unpleasant to adults and children alike .

2chocolateoranges · 13/07/2025 15:59

Blessthismess2 · 13/07/2025 14:35

No 3 year old is “rude” or “unpleasant”.

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I can assure you they can be, rude, unpleasant, cheeky and even violent.

ive been bitten, spat on, kicked, hit I was even called a fucking bitch last week too, all off of a just tuned 4 year old. . A 3 and 4 year old with a temper who has never heard the word no at home isn’t pleasant.

come do my job for a day and you’ll see how tolerant staff are, I’m sure this practitioner who spoke to mum had been dealing with this 3 year olds behaviour for the full day. A one off is never mentioned to parents, continuous behaviour is spoken to parents about.

AlertEagle · 13/07/2025 15:24

Evelyynn · 13/07/2025 00:15

It’s my friends child. She’s basically said that she’s put in a complaint to the manager about the wording. And has scheduled a parents evening with the room leader as she’s not happy about it at all

Is she not embarrassed?

Blessthismess2 · 13/07/2025 15:09

Digdongdoo · 13/07/2025 15:03

Gosh. If you can't grasp that a sentence can simultaneously be rude and adorable becuase he is so little then I can't help you.

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I truly cannot grasp how you could find your 3 year old calling you a “dumbo head” rude and unpleasant. Baffling to me:

Blessthismess2 · 13/07/2025 15:06

arcticpandas · 13/07/2025 14:59

So you think because none of your 3 children were rude at 3 that it's impossible 😆. My two DS weren't either, I would say they were too immature to be rude on purpose and they also got taught how to behave at home. The rudest 3 year olds I have met were also the most intelligent - can't back up that with any statistics other than my experience having worked in nurseries.

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I’m saying I cannot fathom finding something a 3 year old says “rude”. For someone to find something rude it implies that offence was at least received, (and usually also intended).
i cannot fathom taking offence at something said by a 3 year old. 3 year olds have extremely limited understandings of social conventions, they have limited control over impulse and behaviour and they are also still learning fairly basic language ffs! When a 3 year old speaks they are seeking to communicate , authentically expressing a feeling/ observation , or they are copying / practicing/ learning from others. They will have limited or no deliberation about how someone else might receive their words and feel before they speak - they simply do not have that level of impulse control or theory of mind. What on earth would be the reason to receive offence?

Digdongdoo · 13/07/2025 15:04

Blessthismess2 · 13/07/2025 14:56

How very odd.

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Well perhaps the oldest of your multiple children is still 3 and you haven't dealt with the consequences of ignoring rudeness from a 3 year old yet.

Digdongdoo · 13/07/2025 15:03

Blessthismess2 · 13/07/2025 14:58

So you simultaneously think it’s rude and unpleasant but also adorable and harmless? Makes no sense. A three year old calling someone an dumbo head def is the latter.

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Gosh. If you can't grasp that a sentence can simultaneously be rude and adorable becuase he is so little then I can't help you.

arcticpandas · 13/07/2025 14:59

Blessthismess2 · 13/07/2025 14:53

Based on basic insight into child development. I have multiple children, one of whom is currently 3.

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So you think because none of your 3 children were rude at 3 that it's impossible 😆. My two DS weren't either, I would say they were too immature to be rude on purpose and they also got taught how to behave at home. The rudest 3 year olds I have met were also the most intelligent - can't back up that with any statistics other than my experience having worked in nurseries.

Blessthismess2 · 13/07/2025 14:58

Digdongdoo · 13/07/2025 14:54

My 3yos current favorite thing to say is "you're a dumbo head". He's most definitely being rude and unpleasant on purpose. Albeit adorably and harmlessly.

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So you simultaneously think it’s rude and unpleasant but also adorable and harmless? Makes no sense. A three year old calling someone an dumbo head def is the latter.

Kchs232 · 13/07/2025 14:58

I'd be less worried about "complaining to the manager" and more worried about my child not being kind, using bad words and being a little twat. I'd be mortified.

Blessthismess2 · 13/07/2025 14:56

Digdongdoo · 13/07/2025 14:55

I don't believe you. But ok.

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How very odd.

myheadsjustmush · 13/07/2025 14:56

Oh dear.

It sounds like your friend is going to be 'one of those parents....' 🙄

Digdongdoo · 13/07/2025 14:55

Blessthismess2 · 13/07/2025 14:53

Based on basic insight into child development. I have multiple children, one of whom is currently 3.

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I don't believe you. But ok.

Digdongdoo · 13/07/2025 14:54

arcticpandas · 13/07/2025 14:52

Ha! It depends on the toddlers you have been around. I know one 3 y old who regularly said "i'm gonna poke you in the eye" and waving when not getting what he wanted. A girl the same age who rolled her eyes and said I hate you at 3. It depends on maturity and environment.

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My 3yos current favorite thing to say is "you're a dumbo head". He's most definitely being rude and unpleasant on purpose. Albeit adorably and harmlessly.

Blessthismess2 · 13/07/2025 14:53

Digdongdoo · 13/07/2025 14:46

So based on nothing then. I can only assume you've never even met a 3yo.

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Based on basic insight into child development. I have multiple children, one of whom is currently 3.

arcticpandas · 13/07/2025 14:52

Blessthismess2 · 13/07/2025 14:44

I actually can’t even get my head around thinking a toddler was “rude”. Imagine taking offence at something a toddler does or says for not following the conventions of politeness 😂. Some people are so very odd.

Show quote history

Ha! It depends on the toddlers you have been around. I know one 3 y old who regularly said "i'm gonna poke you in the eye" and waving when not getting what he wanted. A girl the same age who rolled her eyes and said I hate you at 3. It depends on maturity and environment.

Digdongdoo · 13/07/2025 14:46

Blessthismess2 · 13/07/2025 14:44

I actually can’t even get my head around thinking a toddler was “rude”. Imagine taking offence at something a toddler does or says for not following the conventions of politeness 😂. Some people are so very odd.

Show quote history

So based on nothing then. I can only assume you've never even met a 3yo.

spirit20 · 13/07/2025 14:45

Your friend should be prepared for that meeting to not go the way she expects it to go....

Blessthismess2 · 13/07/2025 14:44

Digdongdoo · 13/07/2025 14:37

Of course they are! Perhaps not always on purpose (though it often is), but they can be very rude and unpleasant. If you don't nip it in the bud they will continue to be rude and unpleasant.

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I actually can’t even get my head around thinking a toddler was “rude”. Imagine taking offence at something a toddler does or says for not following the conventions of politeness 😂. Some people are so very odd.

MrsSkylerWhite · 13/07/2025 14:39

cadburyegg · 13/07/2025 00:23

Ha ha ha ha ha

If that was my child I’d be mortified at their behaviour, not complaining about the use of the word “attitude”

if the parent can’t see the problem they are the problem

This.

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