Nursery hand over comment. Would you complain?

Where are you in her story, OP?

So she's not bothered about the behaviour of her child, just annoyed at the word attitude? I can see this mum making a complete prat of herself.

That's where she gets the attitude from then 😅

It's not ideal but in the context of an otherwise loving and professional nursery I wouldn't be anywhere near bothered enough to complain. I love my child with all my heart but I've lost count of the amount of times (in private) that I reported to DH that she'd been an absolute dick today or similar when she was this age 🤣

What she should be focusing on is her child’s behaviour. What were they doing? Why? Is the child upset about something?

For example many years ago the school told me my son was very tearful. I knew why it was because he wasn’t sleeping properly after a house move but I’m pleased they told me in case I didn’t know there was a problem.
If he was being a brat/ had an attitude at nursery or school I would want to be told.

by the sounds of it any wording critical of the child would of offended your friend

I think you need to be a true friend and give her some home truths

How should they have phrased it?

Your friend sounds like a nightmare. She’s just deflecting because she doesn’t want to deal with the truth.

It was a comment made at the door when the worker had had a full day of dealing with children. You can’t expect it to be perfectly polished. Besides I don’t see an issue with this at all.

My mum was a primary teacher and used to complain that they weren’t allowed to be straight with parents and in reports etc had to use euphemisms or cushion things. So quite often parents weren’t understanding their child had issues in the classroom.

Sounds like your friend needs to do some parenting. What a wally!

Takes one to know one.

Well, context is everything, and that same sentence could have been said in two very different ways.

But generally, the level of self-censorship that some people expect from people working with children is unachievable, and unhelpful. If you want them to vet every single word that comes out of their mouths as though they're composing a political speech in front of the world's press, then you're going to have to pay them more than minimum wage.

Of course, people who work with children should fundamentally like children - if they're actually pissed off with a 3yo being a 3yo then that's not OK. But they shouldn't be dragged over the coals every time a parent takes umbrage about the exact wording they've used to describe how they've gently corrected some difficult behaviour.

So your friend is creating an entitled brat. I feel sorry for the child and her teachers in the future.

While I would suggest that the word 'attitude' is probably not professional, it is worth remembering the person doing the handover has just worked a shift with small children, which is quite tiring, and may be a tad weary, and not in a place at that moment to find the right word.

I would complain to myself for not having taught my DC manners and treating others with respect.

Good grief, they’ll need to buckle-up before they get to school…. Did you tell your friend she sounds like a moron?

Oh gosh , let’s hope your friend comes to her senses before she makes herself a talking point almost the staff . Attitude is a polite way to say she’s been a little devil today . Hopefully Mum can find out what her daughter did , so she can help the nursery staff going forward. Definitely not complaint worthy.

Aren't 3 year olds basically made up of snot, attitude with a layer of sticky glitter? They're lucky they're cute 😂

It isn't going to be good attitude when paired with unkind words though is it?

This….. And this is why schools and child care facilities are low in staff…. Instead of being mortified that the child was being rude she’s got a hump about the word attitude….

OP what word would she have preferred self entitled madam perhaps?

No I wouldn’t have complained to the manager I would have taken my child home and reinforced the message with them there. This is a big part of the reason why childcare is so difficult though. Parents like this who think their children are angels and make a fuss about criticism rather than try to work with the nursery.

Definitely complain. Too vague. ‘Obnoxious arsehole’ would mean I’m much clearer that the child has been a complete pain all day.

“A bit of attitude” is fine.
She could have complained with “she’s been a complete brat/ a bloody nightmare/ what a monster you’re raising”. But it seems she gets her “bit of attitude” from mum.

I definitely would NOT complain. Absolutely ridiculous.

As a former nursery worker and a mum of an attitude riddled 3 year old...she's definitely over reacting

And this is why we have the kids we do today. Feeling sorry already for school/teachers when they arrive. It’s goi g to be a nightmare for them.

Call me pedantic, but I don't like the neutral word "attitude" being used on its own to mean "bad attitude". It's one of many lazy Americanisms now sadly found in widespread usage.

It takes all of a second to add a qualifying adjective or two.