Nursery hand over comment. Would you complain?

Of course not, your child showed unacceptable behaviour now you want to moan, easy to know where they got their attitude from.

No, I’d be having a word with the three year old for being disrespectful.

My nursery say things in a bit more child focused way such as talking back or asserting boundaries

Nursery leader has raised an issue. You either accept it and speak to the child or kick off against the nursery. They see hundreds of kids and Im sure they can tell “attitude” when they see it.

Honestly, what's your beef here? If she was using unkind words and not being kind, surely you'd want them to talk to her about it?

You should advise your friend that her child obviously speaks in public the same she learns in her home.... and thats the fault of her parents!

On a high note..... backing their little Angel now, and refusing to change will pay off in the future.....
When as a teenager prove to be unemployable. Teachers have to work alongside bratts. Bosses wont be paid to contemplate it.... so get used to the idea of carrying this one for your lifetime!

I do not think 'attitude' is an appropriate word to use to describe a 3 year old. But the 'unkind words' definitely needs addressing, and the mum should be seeking more information on the 'attitude' her child is exhibiting and dealing with it.

Oh I think that’s ridiculous of your friend to complain about this. Honestly!!

I would think that the nursery worker has a very poor grasp of child development and unreasonable expectations of a three year old. She should be curious as to why the child is behaving like that, particularly if it is out of character. Behaviour is communication. The parent is not being unreasonable

The mental health field does that sadly.

Very unprofessional of them to tell you this rather than call the mum to pass the message on.

I see where the child gets the attitude from.

Sounds like the apple didn't fall far from the tree - your friend has a bad attitude if this is her reaction. Rather than ask or consider if her child has been behaving badly, she is complaining about being told?

Brilliant. And people ask if I miss teaching.

This thread is intense!

I just dropped in to say that if there’s any whiff of a racialised element to this that could also change things. For example, if the child is black the use of the word “attitude” may be really offensive to the mother as feeding into tropes about black people, esp girls.

Nursery owner here - the nursery is responsible for the social development of the child whilst in their care. If the child exhibits behaviour that may need looking at - it’s the nursery’s job to bring it to the parents attention - it should be a cohesive relationship!! Childhood and parenthood is life’s steepest learning curve - how arrogant of your friend to take exception to well-meaning and necesssry guidance from professionals

you’re being ridiculous complaining about this - don’t be surprised if you get short shift - don’t be that parent!! (Your friend obvs)

It’s pretty clear where the child is learning the attitude problem from. Your friend sounds a like grade A pain in the arse who’s raising a child in the same mould.

@Blessthismess2 I think they can act and say what they feel like without a filter at that age. It’s a prime time for guiding them on basics of politeness, waiting their turn, sharing, please, thank yous - even listening certainly not hitting, biting, shoving etc.
if they’re not behaving like they’ve received this kind of guidance at home it will show up at nursery. The hard part is doing it in such a way where they aren’t scared or upset or their personalities squashed but understand if they do develop “manners” it helps them fit in to wider society. (Or it used to!)
In this instance the nursery worker probably used slightly the wrong term but the essence is there “this kid needs guidance on behaving better in a group”

Calling 400ish words an essay on Mumsnet is a bit of a stretch. Best of luck with the 15k dissertation.

My god i bet your friend is hard work

Multiple paragraphs (the last of which is quite large!) and two snippets of bullet points! Is hardly a ‘short post.’ Essay is also code for a big post, which in comparison to the majority of posts on here, your bullet pointed monologue was quite big yes.

Assume makes an ass out of u and me….in this case, just you! I have a degree (undergraduate) and have started post grad qualifications.

If you suspect I’m ruffled by your post then you’re also wrong on that count too!

Apology accepted . I’m sorry you felt “got at”. In sure you are an excellent practitioner . I just felt differently about the use of certain words for 3 year olds. Maybe I could have expressed myself better x

If you consider my post an essay, I can only assume you haven't got an undergrad or post-grad degree, and certainly nothing higher. There's been talk on here about the 'expertise' of 'highly educated' nursery staff, but apparently a relatively short post (that mostly consisted of bullet points) got you ruffled.

Oh and @Blessthismess2 just because we don’t agree, doesn’t mean I don’t ‘accept’ your opinion! At all! What a boring world we would live in if we just had to accept viewpoints without debate!

Thus ends my replies to this thread!

It isn’t a personal attack, it’s sarcasm! I’m sorry you feel I have been rude. Perhaps after posts and posts of you dismissing the experience of several, and then the essay by @DonnyBurrito thinking that your views had been ignored, when that just wasn’t the case, I felt a bit got at!

All of which has been largely ignored by and her perfect parenting!

Now this , on the other hand, definitely meets the definition of rude. (especially since I never claimed to be a perfect parent, in fact the only time I mentioned my parenting I stated quite the opposite).

It’s a shame that adults can’t accept people having a different or challenging opinion without resulting to personal attacks.