AIBU to not let DD drop out of music tour because her violin has to go under the coach?

It’s possible that above a certain value the insurance is void if the instrument is in the luggage compartment?

I see your daughter's point, it's a bit first and second division isn't it?

It might help a bit to expand the world view. At the moment her world seems to be just her school orchestra and these particular girls. But the world in general, things like violins must go in things like coach luggage racks all the time surely. PP have mentioned cellos. Harps perhaps? Similarly in snooker your cue is very special, like an extension of you. Even top world champions usually own just one playing cue. Similarly to violins they are wooden, can cost thousands and need to be treated with respect - they are kept at room temp, eg never left in a car overnight and should always be stored flat. But no matter how special, how vital to a professional player's career, how carefully husbanded, they all have to go in the aircraft hold on flights. No one, even a world champion, is allowed to bring a great big stick into the cabin. The airtag or hiring a violin are both good ideas, but hiring one leaves a bit of a bad taste that there are the haves and the have nots. The insurance angle is a good thought.

It would be a bitter pill for her to swallow if it turns out there is an extra seat after all, or storage space above or between the seats...

It is really cool that she cares so deeply about the family connection.

I’d get her or hire her a cheaper instrument for the trip.

I do think that the school should have the same rule for all and agree with your daughter.

I know it sounds basic, but what about a box with bubble wrap or foam for the hold? (As in the cased violin is put into a padded box) This will regulate the temperature and offer crush protection.

I also agree with other PP’s that perhaps there is some trepidation about the trip

The rich kids parents could easily afford to replace...

How do you know they are 'rich kids' and their parents could easily afford it? A pp has said they are able to access instruments they could never afford through a rental scheme. And are bound by the conditions of the scheme.

Agree with pp, there is a really unpleasant attitude on this thread to these talented girls, none of whom are likely to be personally responsible for the decisions that have been made.

I think the school are BU. I don't blame your dd for how she feels, it is really unfair.

It would be awful for her to miss these trip though so I think you just need to try your best to persuade her that yes it is really unfair, but it's not worth missing an amazing trip for.

Can you source a non valuable non sentimental violin for travelling? Just for the sentimental reason I would avoid that travelling

Unfortunately I think this is the answer. You won’t change the schools mind, monetary value counts for them while sentimental value does not.

i play music. Some instruments are expensive and I don’t use them for some gigs, I use cheaper ones.

edited to add : I’m presuming that an affordable one can be bought with the same quality and playability as the important one. I’m thinking that while it’s important as an heirloom that doesn’t make it such high quality it can’t be matched in an affordable way

This has to be the most middle class thread on mn. Ever!😂

My one addition to this advice is maybe add an AirTag or similar to the case so there is not thought of it getting lost.

But yes what about those with Cellos or Double Basses or trombones etc. None of which are cheap

I admire her taking a stand against unfair treatment and no I wouldn't force her to go.

One of the most MN threads ever. Superb stuff.

Look up "Min Kym Stradivarius".

Team daughter.

The rich kids parents could easily afford to replace, dd's cannot be replaced.

It's unfair for the girls to have different rules

It sounds like the daughter goes to an expensive private school that has come very rich parents, it's a little naive imo to think that there will be equitable treatment of all the students

Not saying it's right, just the way of the world

When the grandmother has the violin it wasn't a sentimental heirloom and she may not have cared what happened to it so I wouldnt suggest using that as a measure

ffs. OP has!
I don't understand why people bother to respond if they can't even be arsed to read the first post properly. Even more so when their suggestion is the most blindingly obvious one that unless the OP is a complete idiot of course they would already have tried.

If the school is so music focussed that they can do week long foreign trips and teach teenage prodigies then surely they'll have a spare violin she can play and keep her grandmother's one at home?

Yes it's unfair that the other girls can keep theirs with them, but life's unfair. As you say, it's probably a case of if they couldn't keep theirs with them they wouldn't go, and because they are so good the school was willing to make that compromise. Whereas if your dd made the same threat they'd probably just say 'Well that's a pity.' It would be different if these girls were only being prioritised because of their wealth but in real life people do get advantages due to great talent.

Tbh it sounds more likely to me that a teenage girl wandering around with mates is more likely to lose or damage a violin than one kept safely in the hold.

Investing in a second instrument might be useful if she is planning to go away to university.

Talk to the teachers, it should be all or nothing really. The violins should be in hard cases and properly secured in the boot of the coach and out of direct sunlight which will probably be better than being on a seat in what could be bright sunshine and not secure. Personal insurance should be on every single instrument too, instrument specialists cover this sort of thing as DD’s violin is.

Assuming you have her instrument insured, what does the insurance say? Also I assume you have a proper hard flight case for the violin? My DD is a professional musician so I have lots of experience of these types of tours. Every one she had been on has insisted we provide evidence of insurance and this has covered her instrument/s going under the bus. She's playing lots of festivals this summer and we have had to have conversations with her about whether her £30k worth of instruments are covered if they are in her bloody tent 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣. My DD plays the saxophone so keeping her bari sax on a bus would be impossible as the case is coffin sized. Violin players have a reputation for being high maintenance so she's got that bit right.

Just speak to the teachers and demand fairness. If some violins are allowed on the coach, then all violins should be allowed on the coach. It's disgusting there should be one rule for some and not for others.

I don’t think either of you are being unreasonable. I think the school made a mistake saying some could have theirs with them, it’s awfully unfair. I kind of admire your daughter for challenging this unfair decision and shows her character more than any musical talent ever could. I’m not sure what you should do because of course she would regret not going and it’s a trip most could only dream of. I like the suggestion of hiring one but it’s not really the point is it? And I assume one becomes accustomed to playing the same instrument.

Is it worth approaching school again and insisting that they put all the large instruments in the hold? Explaining how unfair it is?

I understand your DDs feelings.

But surely the cello players feel the same way?

I agree with your dd that hers is equally as valuable, if not more so!
It shouldn’t be different rules due to the amount of money spent. One rule for everyone!

Absolutely hire one but also go back to the school and tell them that she doesn’t want to go because of their favouritism.

I'm with your DD here. School should be making sure all instruments are transported safely.

Agree the solution may be to rent a cheap one. But I also think she's not unreasonable to want to drop out