Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to be disappointed about DS’s SATs results?

29 replies

satssss · 12/07/2025 21:41

I know I am. He got all 109s.

I’m disappointed because he had been in “greater depth” throughout all of KS2.

I am Asian and grew up with a very competitive, pushy parents and was determined that I would not be that way with my children. I never felt clever and always felt like I wasn’t good enough.

With my children, I decided that homework (with approval from the school, which felt the same) is optional in primary school (it won’t be in secondary) and that I will not push or shame.

Anyway, all of DS’s educational life so far, teachers have told me that he’s really bright. I loved hearing that. It’s like he could be the bright, able child that I wasn’t - without me cajoling and pushing and him resenting me.

My brother was the golden child. Went to Oxbridge. After Oxbridge, went back to university and became a doctor. His daughter is the same age as DS and got excellent SATs - 120 in one and above 110s in the others.

I didn’t think I cared but I am so disappointed. (I have not let DS know!)

I KNOW I’m unreasonable. I don’t know how to change my mindset. Help!!

OP posts:
Praying4Peace · 12/07/2025 21:50

YABU and comparing to your brother's child.
Appreciate your child for what he has achieved and reflect on your own childhood experiences.
I'm sure your son will be fine and reach his full potential

Jojimoji · 12/07/2025 21:47

Teacher of 35 years experience here.

Please hear me out everyone....
SATS are meaningless.
POINTLESS.
Crap.
A waste of everybody's time.
An indicator of absolutely nothing.

If your kid enjoys school and works to his best ability give him and yourself a massive pat on the back.
There's no more to it at this age.

Gustavo1 · 12/07/2025 21:46

Yes, YABU to be disappointed with brilliant scores but you know that. The SAT results don’t mean much at all. They’re very subjective at this age. Girls also generally out perform boys at this level so you shouldn’t compare the two children at this point.
your son has performed brilliantly. The score to achieve the standard is 80 so 109 is great. It’s only a mark off greater depth anyway!

Drowninginconfusion · 12/07/2025 21:43

You’re not unreasonable. It’s okay to be disappointed but just don’t let him know. Make sure the homework is done in secondary and I’m sure it’ll be fine. They’re good scores.